Dr. Tricia Wolanin

Puzo’s New Lease on Life

10 Jun 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #death, #dogs, #life, #pets, #wanderlust

Recently Puzo had a near death experience. Or at least so I thought. Puzo is my English Bulldog who was extremely sick days before his 15^th birthday. I had gone away to Majorca for 6 days, and he developed diarrehea when I left. When I returned, his illness would not stop. He would not eat, and everything was coming out of him. Pure incontinence. I was preparing for the worst with each day. Would I have to put him to sleep the next week? With each area I cleaned up, I reminded myself this was a meditation. All my love for him. I distracted myself by binging on the Netflix’s reality show Love is Blind, just to not have to think of the horror awaiting me.

Luckily I was able to secure medication for him prior to his vet appointment, and we celebrated his birthday in pure doggie style, with rotisserie chicken. The day after his birthday, we even made it to the Champ de Mars with his stroller, as his incontinence stopped. The vet confirmed his prognosis. Nothing was wrong with him, he’s just old. I made the realization, that when I go on holiday, his anxiety exacerbates and he somaticizes his stress. The other two times earlier in the year, something similar happened and he acted out. We picked up anxiety meds for my next vacation.

Since his illness has worked through his system, he seems to have a new lease on life. He’s been given another chance, not even a second chance. At this point, it’s easily his fourth or fifth chance on life. He seems to be appreciating life more. I know I am anthropomorphisizing him a bit, yet I can’t help and notice shifts in his behavior. He is waking up earlier in the morning, as soon as the sun rises. He is wanting to take in more of the day. He soaks in all of the rays when we go to the Eiffel Tower, and sit on blanket in the grass. I swear this Parisian monument and park inspires him. People wait their whole lives to visit here, and this is the park we go to several times a week. Puzo tries to get out of his stroller as we near the park or when we leave, his excitement on his wrinkled face shows. He wants to prove he can walk further than I let him. Even on our tiny promenades in our tiny passage, he is walking more with ease and down the hallway. I am witnessing his exploratory nature increase, he is showing me he is not ready to give up. He loves his wanderlust life too much. A dog who my mom purchased for me when I was in my 20s from Amish country to Ohio. He’s jetsetted with me to New York City, California, Hawaii, back to California, the United Kingdom and now Paris. He has a new perspective on life, and so do I .

“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring—it was peace.” – Milan Kundera

Smile, You Are In Spain

05 Jun 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #europe, #expat, #freedom, #sunshine, #travel #spain, #wanderlust

Paris may be my favorite city, but Spain is my favorite country.  Again and again each time I visit, it pulls at my heart.  Perhaps it is because, I know somewhere in my family lineage I am Spanish.  Spain invaded the Philippines centuries ago, and some of the cultural aspects I feel I have inherited.   There is a sense of familiarity I have each time I visit, regardless the city or island.  Flan, ensamadas, and empanadas are all cuisine that I use to eat with my family in our gatherings.  The brightness of clothing the locals wear matches the pop of colors my maternal lineage embraced.   And the language is easier than French, I can actually pass for speaking it.  I took Spanish for several years in high school and college, therefore I feel comfortable enough to get around.  Understanding Tagalog assisted with the ease of Spanish language embedding into my bones.  The California-esque terrain and eternal sunshine warms my heart.

 Previously there was a Spanish tourism advertisement, whose slogan was   « Smile you are in Spain. » And I couldn’t agree more.   I know Americans are mesmerized with France and Italy, but Spain may have it beat.  The euro stretches far, the siestas are tranquilo, the atmospheres are lively, the people are friendly, the tapas, and the flamenco ! Visiting Spain seems to give you that extra boost of Vitamin D you didn’t know you were lacking.

Espana is the hidden gem.  Last week, was able to have a brief sibling vacation to Mallorca.  I was open to visiting and had visited this Balearic island years ago, but mostly stayed in the capital of Palma and the confines of my all inclusive hotel resort.  I was curious what the fascination was with this place, but I realized what was to be discovered with the independence of a rental car.   The island has 300 beaches to visit, and numerous villages to wander around in.   On this occassion, I did not visit the capital Palma.   Therefore what was interesting, was I felt i was stepping back in time, when we drove the rural landscape.  Throughout our time there, the only stoplights we encountered were linked as warnings for railroad tracks.  Nature surrounded us in every corner.  The vastness of the large mountains, the rural dessert like atmosphere in the center of the island, the village towns that existed up the mountains, the beauty of the cool blue water.  My brother poignantly said, « Americans talk about freedom, but this is freedom. »  This trip did taste like freedom, but it did not relate to a politcal party, or being in the U.S.A., or the amount of money we had.  It was the luxury of time and the ability to explore vast terrain without boundaries.   If you have the opportunity, visit.  Any location in Spain will do.  This is freedom, and you will say to yourself « smile you are in spain. »

‘Any reasonable, sentient person who looks at Spain, comes to Spain, eats in Spain, drinks in Spain, they’re going to fall in love. Otherwise, there’s something deeply wrong with you. This is the dream of all the world.’ – Anthony Bourdain

What are you waiting for?

02 Jun 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #carpediem, #clothing, #life, #moments, #positivepsychology, #reframe, #travel

Yesterday I wore a dress for no particular reason for the first time. There was nothing special about the day, an impromptu market stroll, lunch, and beach time. But I decided since I’m on holiday, why not? I had brought the dress with me, what was I waiting for? So often with “premiering an outfit,” (as my friend Erica says), I feel it must be for a particular occasion. But why? If this is the case, I may be waiting for a day that never arrives.

Last year, I had gone shopping at a vintage shop in Bury St. Edmunds, and debated to by a fascinator for my hair. I didn’t think I had a fancy event to wear this to, and said it aloud to a friend. The store worker said, “every day can be special or fancy.” Her words of encouragement stayed with me. I bought the hair piece. She was a great sales lady, but also spoke poignant words. I need to remind myself this. It’s like when people are deliberate of what dishes to use for guests or themselves. They wait to put out only the good silverware or expensive plates for guests. Aren’t we enough to celebrate?

This may seem trivial to think of our precious belongings we own, and our desire to savor them for the right moments. But expand your view of what this is representative of. The time is now. Life is short and if we take this mentality, there is value and worth in every moment. It doesn’t have to be captured on film or be filled with other people wearing expensive attire to count. Our life is full of moments available for us to participate and luxuriate in.

“One can make a day of any size and regulate the rising and setting of his own sun and the brightness of its shining.”

– John Muir.

Comfort in Comedy

19 May 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #chrisrock, #comedy, #creativity, #expatlife

Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.-Chris Rock

Am I an outsider looking in, or an insider looking out? I couldn’t help but reflect on that as I watched comedian Chris Rock yesterday. I was lucky enough to see Chris Rock in a sold out venue of only 360 people at the Apollo Theater in Paris. He entered the stage wearing all white, the lights were dimmed. When he tried to speak into his microphone, the power on the stage went out. As the staff worked quickly to fix this, he offered to the audience, “I’m a little off, but you’ll have a good show. We know how good I am in crisis.” Laughter eased the discomfort with that one line. He promptly alluded to something we were all thinking. Would the infamous Will Smith slap heard internationally two months prior be addressed? And it was with an insinuative remark.

We were in the 12^th row, and it was surreal. The title of his show was called Ego Death, and I couldn’t help but be curious as to the meaning of this title. As I watched his show, I viewed it through the lens of my old psychology profession. This is how he chose to deal with this experience. His craft of storytelling and boldly sharing his opinions in a palpable funny way, was his cathartic journey. This is how he is intentionally dealing with that media driven experience. Instead of being a victim, he is using it as fuel for his work. In his set, he shared that people get attention through either being infamous, excellent, or a victim. He reminded the audience we have a choice. And there was power to that statement. Although he didn’t state it, we knew Chris was opting to not be a victim in this narrative.

To be an American, listening to an American telling jokes in France was like an out of body experience. I haven’t lived in America for almost nine years, most of that time having spent lived in the United Kingdom. But those years were spent working with Americans as a therapist. The USAF to be exact. Therefore, I have yet to pick up any type of accent or new language. I still sounded ‘murican. I could relate to the jokes because I still identify as an American, my family and friends reside there, and I visit annually. But how American was I? Was I American in my ideals, values, or daily living?

As the show continued, I listened to Chris Rock rant about political hot topics, celebrity gossip, the state of homelessness, racism, the pandemic and the overused political correctness that have taken over the country. I laughed at the jokes, as so many were based on reality. But as I laughed, I couldn’t help but think how sad the state of the country was, and wondered if I want to return as a citizen in the future? Did Chris Rock even want to return? He asked the audience if abortion was legal in France, and joked that maybe he could get one while he was here.

And Chris also talked of things that are universal, not just not the crisis of all things American. But the creative process. Chris shared at the beginning of the show how art sucks these days. This includes all types of art: movies, television, music, books, tangible art. He stated all art sucks because there are layers of people who oversee the creative process of what actually gets distributed to the public. Art is out of the artists’ control today and is censored. He exclaimed that all mainstream art seems to be out of one’s control, except that of the art of a standup comedian. A standup comedian is in charge of their own acts and the words that come out of their mouths, not the publishing world, or the television executives, or the publicists. As I heard that comment, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe and jealousy with that statement made. I’m in the process of my book proposal being pitched, and I am keenly aware that much is out of my control. Yet comedians take their art straight to their audience. And they can get away with it.

Just as the olden days of a royal court, the only ones who could get away with telling the truth and not be punished were the court jesters. Buttons are pushed, and often things slightly teeter on the edge of controversial. But then laughter breaks up the discomfort. Viewpoints are shared with audiences in a way they can swallow it. Shock, laughter and wit can go a long way. Their intelligence is hidden with smiles.

As I watched Chris Rock, I reflected on the show’s title: Ego Death. Ego Death disarms the audience, it humbles him, and allows us as a group to take in what he says with more ease. Although he speaks of his lavish lifestyle and the privileges that fame and money bring, he is grounded by being a human being, with the woes of parenting, dating during midlife, and the joys of co-parenting with an ex. It’s a reframe. We are curious as an audience to see this man as a victim of another celebrity’s slap, but we see how he’s fueled to redirect the narrative.

Perhaps we also re-write the current narrative of America. It does not only have to be the bold, outrageous, wild, divided, selfish nation that the media has painted. I feel I’m only watching it from afar, like a reality television show that I cringe to admit I’m a fan of. As a nation, we seem to be getting attention through either being infamous, excellent, or a victim. All aspects are there. We have a choice in how to frame the nation. And what if our ego death as a country is approaching? This may be the key for our story to be reframed in a way that is palpable to the world and ourselves. Laughter may be key to get through and beyond this moment.

Stumbling onto the past

16 May 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #arenas, #france, #local, #paris, #roman, #tourist, #travel, #wanderlust

Recently, I found myself lost after getting off at a metro stop. I had plans to visit the local hammam, which was a six minute walk, according to my GPS. Yet, when I followed the GPS, I found myself getting further and further from the destination. Minutes went up, but the arrow was off. I found myself walking in circles, and found myself by the Pantheon. I had just visited there the week prior. As I walked in the direction I came, the minutes went down. I got closer to the hammam. But I stumbled on something else. A Roman Arena. Arenes de Lutece.

I had heard about this place the week prior. It is located in the 5^th Arrondisment, and according to history, it was hidden for centuries. It was constructed in the 1^st Century AD, could hold 15000 people, and existed to demonstrate the valiance of gladiators. Romans once ruled the land, and throughout time were overtaken. Eventually the arena became a cemetery. More and more was placed upon this site. Over time people knew the arena once existed, but the exact location was unknown until the 1860s when it was discovered by individuals wanting to build a tramway on the site. Allegedly, there were protests to stop the demolition of this historic site. One person who fought to preserve this was Victor Hugo himself.

I felt guided to visit this place, perhaps this is why I was lost with my GPS. My eyes were alert to go to this arena. I have lived in Paris for several months, and visited many times before, but never heard of this place. Locals informed me this is hidden from Paris, and I can see why. Arenes de Lutece has turned into a special park, that has a sense of tranquility from the busy-ness of the city. I went on a weekday, and the stands had people sharing lunch with their friends, or reading, or journaling. It’s located in the Latin Quarter, and it’s a quiet spot to simply be.

I appreciate the little ways this town continues to surprise me with it’s history, allure, and magic.

“You can’t escape the past in Paris, and yet what’s so wonderful about it is that the past and present intermingle so intangibly that it doesn’t seem to burden.” — Allen Ginsberg

An Old Pastime

09 May 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #expat, #expatlife, #paris, #walking #exercise, #wanderlust

When I ask a lot of French people what they like to do here for fun, there is a response that arises again and again. Walk. Marcher. Flaneur. People like to walk, not as a means of transportation to get to point A from B, as a way to hit 10,000 steps, or to engage in exercise. They walk simply for the pleasure of walking.

This reminds me of the Jane Austen days, when people would take turns about the grand estates or gardens. Outside of going to the fancy ball, the local market, or working on skills to impress others (instruments, singing, reading) there was nothing to do. And so they walked.

We live in a world of distractions. Non-stop entertainment on endless devices. The French engage in these activities too, along with the rest of the world. But the Parisians also like to walk. This brings joy to me. As over the years, I have found I take pleasure in walking.

In my Midwestern hometown, the only people seen walking are children or those who have gotten a DUI (driving under the influence). Nobody would be caught dead walking. Most of the time one will drive from one shopping plaza to another for the sheer convenience of it. But here that wouldn’t be an option.

I was speaking with my friend the other day, and noted the French do not count their calories. It is not listed on menus, or boards where one orders food. Nobody seems to be calculating how many carbs were eaten or fat consumed. But perhaps they do not have to. They walk it off. This is part of life.

Walking does not cost any money. All it requires is good walking shoes. One may wear out their shoes more easily, but view it as an investment. There’s no need for a gym membership or gas money. Let your feet take you there.

“After a day’s walk, everything has twice its usual value.”

-G.M. Trevelyan.

Out of Routine

05 May 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized

It’s easy to stay disciplined when one lives alone and has carved out time for their routines. Yet, when one adds others to the picture and travel is involved, things can easily shift. It’s important to remain compassionate towards oneself about what you can do. So has been the case for me the past month, with travelling to multiple states in America, visiting friends and family, having friends visit me in Paris, and celebrating for days my 43^rd birthday. I love seeing those I adore, but it’s at time like these that my morning routine shifts.

My usual morning discipline includes journaling (morning pages), gratitude, meditation, breathwork, reading a spiritual text, yoga, and more recently sound healing. But this definitely is not always possible. I know it’s grounding for me, and parts are necessary, at the same time I can forgive myself for not engaging in the entire process.

As one who is on the cusp of introversion and extroversion, it’s important to look at tiny moments I can ground and center myself. This morning that includes whisking away to a local coffee shop to write this blog post. Take my time with my latte, listen to music that is soothing to my soul, and slowing down my breath. Tiny moments of peace can extend you throughout the day.

What do you need to sooth your soul at this moment? What actions can you take? Take a step towards a moment of peace.

“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Generations of Creativity

20 Apr 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized

Creativity runs in my genes, but is expressed within different ways among each of us. My mother is a fashionista, my brother is a designer, I’m transitioning to being a writer, and my aunt’s 10 year old daughter is a multi-faceted talent. Most recently she received the Charlotte Miller Simon award for a poem she wrote for a classroom exercise. It was then submitted to a local competition with hundreds of other submissions. She came in first for her age group. The poem is below, and tackles her experience of race in a personal way.

Roots by Jordyn Colbert

Shake, shake, shake the hairspray

Trying buns, bob cuts, and even bangs

Nothing’s working my hair’s too thick,

I don’t think YouTube tutorials will do the trick

Shake, shake, shake the hairspray once more,

Maybe the bob cut isn’t the look I’m going for

I browse and browse through the magazines,

None of these girls look like me

Shake, shake, shake the hairspray again,

Ugh! I’ll never get it right! this will never end!

The ladies in the magazines are all white girls,

And nothing’s working for these crazy curls

Shake, shake, shake the hairspray one more time,

If this doesn’t work it’ll be the end of the line

I straighten and style and all done let’s see,

Anything it takes to look like the girls on the magazine

Shake, shake, shake the hairspray but this time I won’t,

I put down the empty spray can and I feel a tightness in my throat

I look into the mirror then take another glance at the magazine,

Watching other light-skinned girls live out my dream

Mama walks in and comforts me,

“You are beautiful and you’re the best you’ll ever be”

I hug my mama tight as I look into the mirror and smile,

I’m different, I’m dark, and I love my profile

Growing up in small town Ohio twenty years ago, race was minimally discussed. Since the area was primarily Caucasian, few understood the dynamics of diversity. They viewed racism as solely a black white issue, and didn’t think others could possibly be discriminatory towards me. Others were ignorant of how acts of discrimination could arise. A blind spot seemed to exist on how the world and community saw variations of the browns and other hues in between at that time.

Jordyn expressed her struggle of being Filipina and Black, of not fitting into what America’s ideal of beauty is at the moment. Although the media has allowed more variability of what constitutes beauty, many still feel they do not fit into the mold. I appreciate the boldness and authenticity Jordyn offered in her poem, and being able to be the voice for others to note and finally see her (and others’ experience).

A Reminder Stress Is Good

03 Apr 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #balance, #stress, #yinyang, #yoga

“Comfort is the opposite of stress. Modern living tends to seek stress-free conditions, where we are comfortable, but this comes at a terrible cost: fragility. Said another way, comfort is fragilizing.”-Bernie Clark

I am currently enrolled in a week long yin yoga anatomy class. For those who aren’t familiar with yoga, or yin yoga, here is a brief explanation. We have all heard of the term yin and yang, and perhaps are familiar with the yin yang symbol.

Yin yoga is the compliment to yang yoga, or our current modern day yang world. Yang is action, doing, busy, movement, sun energy. Yin is receptive, stillness, reflective, moon energy. One is not all good or all bad, we need both to survive. The facilitator of the class and author Bernie Clark says that “Yoga is a dance, not a wrestling match. Yang is about changing the world, yin accepts the world as it is.”

Yin yoga focuses on working on our deeper tissues, our fascia, and stressing our joints. This is to elongate them, release stored up chi/energy, and to balance the body.

In the class, it was mentioned that we yearn for comfort but to not stress is to atrophy. I couldn’t help but think of this metaphor for life. I myself am a creature of comfort. I do long for what is easy. Who wants to struggle, when we could ease through life? But if I keep turning towards this ease and comfort, I do not grow. I need to remind myself this at difficult times.

I want my life to be full of ease, and part of me continues to pivot towards this. But if this perpetually happens will I atrophy and decay away?

The instructor discussed how astronauts who are floating in space for months at a time, they are not using their bones. When they finally land back on earth, often they need to sit in wheelchairs. Their bones are weak after not having used them. We need to put pressure on our bones to support us. It’s called anti-fragility, but I believe we know this more in our everyday world as resilience.

We crave comfort, and indeed this is called for at times. But we cannot live in this space. In order to continue to grow, we need some stress. We need to get out of comfort zone. This could be travel, new jobs, new friends, new experiences. There are so many ways to shake up one’s routine and patterns. Pushing oneself is good for you, although it can feel overwhelming.

It may be helpful to ponder in this season of your life, how are you stretching and stressing yourself?

Happiness is a Human Right

30 Mar 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #expat, #expatlife, #happiness, #paris, #thegreatresignation, #wanderlust

I was at a my first raclette party the other day filled with expats, who mention they may not return to the United States due to several things: healthcare, guns, and education. “Healthcare is a human right, it should not be for profit.” I cannot disagree with this statement, and it ruminates in my head as I live here, and ponder my future.

Later that evening, I got off at the metro stop Varenne by the Rodin Museum (my favorite sculptor). The Eiffel Tower was in the background shining, as I walked towards my apartment. I was leaving a dinner with a new group of friends, I had just gone on a date that surprisingly went well the day prior, and had plans the next day to meet up with creatives to lead an Artist Way workshop. I thought “this is my life!” I’m shocked by this fact repeatedly. Paris is my current hometown. I live in a city people dream for years to visit, and I was doing it. I was living in a town filled with delights in pleasure. But I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.

Did I deserve to be happy? I wasn’t working. I thought of the judgements others may have towards my happiness that I was lazy, a freeloader, or a drifter. I even thought of so many people who are suffering, who may believe I wasn’t worthy of this emotion.

I was setting limits on the bounty of my happiness.

Why do I feel guilty for feeling happy? It’s as if I feel happiness should be earned. I felt guilty that I was not working in a job. I had this false belief that I could only receive happiness if I clocked in 40 hours and received a paycheck.

I was setting rules to how I could enjoy myself.

But as I walked home, I battled that thought. Happiness does not have to be earned. It is a human right, just like health care is a human right. We all deserve and have access to happiness. It’s not a limited resource, or tied to profit. I have the right to be happy. And I will continue to remind myself this, as I live in the city of my dreams.

“You stumble, you soar. And if you’re lucky, you make it to Paris for a while.” — Amy Howard

It Only Takes A Smile