Synchronicity in Sound Healing

Two years ago, while in Colorado with a friend, we stumbled upon a gem show.  As we searched through which gemstones we may find, there were people selling Tibetan bowls.  I was new to the world of sound healing and in the process of ongoing training.  Many of the bowls I found were overpriced, but we ended up finding one booth by a company called Serenity Tibet.  There was a woman discussing the bowls that were available, and were at an affordable price.  A man was seated at the booth, I assumed it was this woman’s husband and he was dragged to this expo event.  As I began talking to him, I discovered he himself was a sound healer from Tibet.  He actually was Suren Shrestha, well known teacher, author, and healer.  We briefly shared our experiences about sound, took some photos, and we bought some lovely instruments from them.  

Later that week, I informed my teacher Maggie in Wales about this “random” event.  She said to me, “weird things happen when you enter the world of sound.”  She continued to share that there will be moments of synchronicity on this path of sound healing.  This was true in her life, and now it was working it’s magic in mine.  

And she was right, more is slowly being revealed.  Little by little.  As a trained clinical psychologist, I can share knowledge gained from theories I know, but I cannot have friends or family as clientele.  In yoga, although I have led a mini class or two with family members or friends, many don’t want to stay in an entire yoga class with me facilitating it.  But sound healing has been different.  It’s one area where I can offer the beauty and transmission of sound, regardless of the relationship to the being in front of me.  In addition, I can do this with more than one person in the room.

I was watching a show the other day which talked of manifestations, and when they discussed synchronicities as moments where various things align in our lives, the host said “we also call these things weird.”  These are moments when things can’t be explained, and I have had many of these in my life.  According to Jung and the website www.artsofthoughts.com

“Jung believed that many occurrences labeled as “coincidences,” are not actually due to chance. Instead, he believed that these occurrences are directly related to the observer’s mind, and serve to provide powerful insight, direction and guidance.”

 Right now, it seems to be headed in the direction of sound, pilgrimage, and the Black Madonna.  Interestingly, I am embarking on a pilgrimage that will incorporate all of these this summer.  More later on this.  I’m leading my first public sound bath in Malaga, and I’m intrigued to see where this is going.  I am new-ish to this world, but have already led sound healing sessions in America, England, Wales, France, and now Spain.  Let’s see what “weird” things arise next.  

What “weird” moments of synchronicity are arising in your life now? They are there if you are willing to see them.  Put away the distractions, be, see what arises, and note them down so you don’t forget.  

Hearts Everywhere I See

Today, as I sat on the beach with Bella.  I reflected on creating a video on manifestation.  I was thinking of all the ways things have shifted in me throughout the past week, when I opened up my heart more.  It was the final missing piece for manifestation, that I didn’t realize I was lacking.  I have been focusing on my heart chakra through doing heart opening yoga sequences and mantras, but also felt a sense of it being broken open the other day.  This was from the mere thought of fostering a dog.   I have yet to decide if and when I will do this, but the mere thought of this act of love shifted something in me.  After the grief of losing one dog, and being an emotional caretaker for numerous people and a psychologist, I felt there was no space in my heart for anyone and anything else.  This was a catalyst. 

After that thought occurred, I began to see changes in my reality.  The Law of Attraction was at work.  I received scholarships for two online courses I have been eyeing.  One is on the Black Madonna and the other is on Self Compassion.  Both I had applied for various scholarships from these organizations before and never received it.  And several other positive events occurred during the week.  It was a week filled of joyous unexpected abundance.  I wanted to share this news with others.  I had my bikini on, and was going to put my shirt back on to film the video. I looked down and saw this.

A bird had pooped on it, during the minutes my shirt was off.  And it wasn’t just any poop, it was in the shape of a heart.  It was hilarious to me.  I am already the type of person to believe that a bird pooping on you can be good luck.  It’s all in the reframing.   But  the fact it pooped on my shirt that was  in the shape of a heart, was more comedic.  

I posted this on social media, and my father noted “have fun getting the stain off.”  I had to share with him, you are missing the point.  It doesn’t matter what happens with the shirt.  It was seeing the blessing and humor in this situation versus getting upset.  In letting it go, perhaps it would create more space in my life for the next thing.  

Our Beach Personalities

“At the beach, life is different. Time doesn’t move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun. “ – Sandy Gingras

I am lucky enough to currently live walking distance to the port and beach.  Bella and I go nearly everyday.  And one thing I love to do is watch people as they engage with the sun and beach.  The area I am in is the Costa del Sol, entitled this after an excessive amount of days of sun per year.  Due to the fact that the average is around 325 days of sun, there are many tourists, retirees, and transplants from colder countries during the winter months.  

I witness people first walk onto the port, seeing the Mediterranean and the sun on a winter day. They seem stunned by the beauty.  Selfies are taken.  People sit at the first restaurant at the port to take in the local musicians, and drink a sangria or cana.  Their shoulders relax.  People then continue their stroll down the port, and eventually head to the beach.

It’s here I observe the moment they have been waiting for.  Although the sea is too cold to swim in at the moment, some still do.  It’s normal to see children get excited when arriving at the beach, because this is what children do.  But oftentimes, the adults become childlike as well.  I noticed a woman who seemed so happy being here on a weekday, that she started to slow dance with the ocean.  I saw another woman playing tag with the ocean waves that came to shore, she was in jeans and tried to run away as they came close to her.  Of course the ocean won that round, as they generally win the majority of rounds.  But the other day I saw something that will be etched in my memory.

The weather was warm, it was in the 80s (or 25 plus celsius), therefore more people were in the water.  It was the first weekend, I was in a bikini.  This is how warm it is.   There was a man who looked like a local with his son, he seemed to have just gotten out of the water.  His son laid on a towel in the sand.  This man rolled in the sand like he was a sushi roll being wrapped.  He did it with joy.  With his arms up and showed his child how great he was feeling.  Generally the sand is something everyone I know avoids, but he embraced it.  He left it on for at least ten minutes, maybe it served as an exfoliator as one does in the Dead Sea or in the spas.  Eventually he took another dip in the Mediterranean and appeared refreshed.  This was actually a joy to witness. 

I’m sharing this on the blog because it made me smile.  It served as a reminder that I need to be present to find pleasure and appreciation in another’s joy.  I wouldn’t have witnessed it if I was on my phone, and no I wasn’t quick enough to capture it on camera.  But it’s etched in my mind.  I want to encourage you to be present each time you are outside, not only to be with all of nature, people, and animals that are around you, but to observe the little things in strangers around you.  Happiness is all around.

Observe Love

It’s a time of dating apps, where one can swipe right or left to determine your worth to them.  Love seems elusive.  It’s a time where people can unmatch or ghost you if you don’t fit their ideal in the moment.  One feels disposable.  Love is a condition so many of us strive for, but feels far from reach.  

And all we need to do to witness love is put down our phones and observe it.  This is a new practice I have been trying.  If I am striving for love and all the aspects of it, not just romantic, but also communal, friendship, familial, and universal, then I am practicing witnessing and being love.  It requires one’s presence.

Today, as I sat in a local town square to be in the sun with my dog, I was present.  I observed a woman crawling on her knees to move a cigarette butt so her baby wouldn’t grasp for it as he crawled the same park.  I saw a single father, pushing his slightly tween daughter on a makeshift swing.  I observed two friends catching up, as they were on holiday.  I saw how I shielded the eyes of my dog when a razor scooter zoomed by so her bark wouldn’t ruin the mood of the moment for those around me.  I interacted with a stranger as our dogs met, and although her dog was barking, she knew her pet was curious and only wanted to smell out my dog and greet it.  None of these people were on their phones.  They were present and patient.  And this is where I observe the lines repeated so often in weddings from the Corinthians: “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.”   

We don’t have to wait to hear those words to be read as people exchange their vows, to see them play into action.  It’s a reminder that love is more than one’s romantic partner.  Love is how we interact with other beings in the world.  Love does not have to be saved for special moments, it is possible in every moment.  So in a time of swiping, impatience, and greed, we can remind ourselves love still exists and is all around.  But it requires us to observe.  And when we can observe love wholeheartedly, there’s a contagion to that.  We want to pass it on.  Don’t pass on the bitterness, frustration, or stress.  Pass on the love in the little acts you engage in with those in your atmosphere.

Today take note of the love you witness.  Pass it on.

New Lands, Same Excitement

Yesterday I just booked a flight for this summer to Sofia Bulgaria, which will include a day trip to Northern Macedonia.  I couldn’t be more excited.  These will be my 51st and 52nd countries to visit respectively (depending on what country counter you are using).  Generally these countries are not on people’s to do list, but the more one travels, the further one wants to explore.  And a feeling returned that I hadn’t had in awhile….

Excitement.

Yes, I have travelled post the pandemic, including moving two new countries post Covid: France and Spain.  But I haven’t visited new countries since February 2020.  These were Lithuania and Ukraine (image below).  Both of which I loved, and were timely.  

Although I thought some of my wanderlust was dying down, I was surprised to see it still exists within for unchartered territory.   What makes these travels more delightful is going to places I never dreamed of going to before.  I knew I would always see the top 5 of Europe because this is what is sold to us on American films and media.   But when I go to these new locations that I never dreamed of, it’s a reminder that I am pushing myself beyond the boundaries.  I am expanding the box and surpassing a goal that I never even set. 

There is an online organization called the Travel Century Club, which has a different type of count of territories.  They have over 300 territories.  If you have travelled to at least 100, you can join the club. My new goal is to hit the 100 club by the time I am 50.  And I think this is doable.  At this time, the number I am at is 64 territories.  This is an average of at least 6 more per year to visit.  https://travelerscenturyclub.org/countries-and-territories/alphabetical-list

I was excited about it, I told my mother today.  “I have a new goal.  I want to join the Travel Century Goal.”  After explaining what it was, she said, “oh I thought you had a real goal like of your life purpose, not a travel goal.”  I said “no, right now this is my purpose, at least until I’m 50.”  She laughed it off.  But why can’t it be?  There are certain goals I have that are out of my control, but this goal I can accomplish.  Why can’t a life goal be one’s current purpose? One’s North Star? 

It’s the internal excitement that was the signal to me that my soul again is once stirred.  This is the fuel I have been lacking.  And it is enough.  We are the ones who dictate our purposes, our lives.  Our purpose doesn’t have to be monumental.  It can shift.  It can be what pulls your life force.  And right now for me it’s the Century Club. 

Loneliness is a Normal Emotion

Often I have friends back home ask me the question, “Do you get lonely?”  They ask this because I have lived overseas for ten years.  Bella and I are currently living in our fourth country.  And the answer is yes, but I think the emotion of loneliness has become so normal that I do not always name it that.

I am not ashamed to say I get lonely.  This does not have to do with the lack of a romantic partner, but the lack of true friends and community.  There’s so many ways we can be lonely, but all has to do with lack of connection. The thing is we can be lonely, even if we are surrounded by others and do not feel understood.  We can even be lonely if we are living in our hometown, but currently not feeling bonded with others.  Loneliness doesn’t always have to do with newness to a city, but oftentimes that can go hand in hand.  Years ago, at a therapy conference I heard author and relationship expert Esther Perel say that the number one problem in America was loneliness.  This fact was verbalized pre-covid.  We know with the pandemic, loneliness increased in societies throughout the world.  We had to learn how to navigate this emotion in this new way of being in the world. 

But this is a blog on happiness? True, but to avoid these difficult emotions is to veer into the world of toxic positivity.  We must embrace the totality of our emotions.  It’s when we know we can feel the lows, that the highs are appreciated at a greater depth.

So what do you do with loneliness?  

Recognize.  Notice what is arising internally, give it a name.  If you could stop a moment, and tune into your body.  Where in your body is this arising?  What is it like? It’s the first step.   

Allow Feelings.  Give yourself permission to feel it.  And what does that look like for you? Tears.  Frustration. Anger.  Let it out.  Give yourself space to feel, and offer the self- compassion to yourself to be vulnerable right now. 

Voice. Voice out your feelings to others.  This could be to a therapist, or via phone calls with friends and family in other parts of the world.  You may express it through journal entries that release the turmoil inside.

Elevate. Now you took the time to notice what’s going on, feel the feels, voice it, and now you can elevate it.  This is transforming the motion.  It’s been said that emotion is energy in motion, and if emotions are truly expressed and felt only last several minutes. So now what? Maybe you want to harness that loneliness and transform it into a creative project. Or it’s a time to reassess your goals.  It can also be a time to now express what in your life you are grateful for.  

Although this process is laid out for loneliness, you can use a variation of this for any difficult emotion.  This is temporary, just like everything else.  Next time you are lonely, turn to this process, and let me know how it works for you.  It will pass and you are okay.

Small Changes To See The World Differently

“Time wasted at the beach is time well spent.” – Unknown

I have lived in Malaga for two months, and outside of a tiny trip with a friend to her vacation home, I have stayed in the town center.  I had vowed that today I would venture on a bus or metro to go to another town, but it didn’t happen.  Therefore, I would simply walk further by the beach for my daily walk.  It was interesting, because I think my dog Bella knew this. 

We walked towards Malagueta, and generally stop at one of the first two grassy areas to sit.  But today we walked further, not much further.  There was a beautiful opening to the beach and empty benches looking at the Mediterranean.  Bella stopped and took towards the sea, then pawed at my leg.  She seemed to say, “this is good enough.”  We don’t have to walk further to experience the beach differently, we can actually walk the area differently.

And so we walked towards the sea, it was the first time in these two months that Bella’s paws touched the water.  She’s not a water dog, and runs away from it versus towards it.  Therefore, as I walked barefoot in the sand, I carried her during this process.  Bella is my fourteen year old chihuahua pug mix, and although she has a curious heart, her paws get tired every so often. As we walked, I saw beautiful seashells that still capture my sense of awe, as they did when I was a child.  Previously when we only stayed in the other grassy areas, what I saw was remnants of litter from prior picnics. But I realized I need to walk in the sand to see the shells.

 We sat on a new grassy area for awhile, which was clean and less crowded.  We experienced the beach differently.  On our return walk home, we took a new route.  And this was our version of an adventure today.  It doesn’t take much to have a shift in perspective.  We don’t have to spend loads of money by travelling to far off lands, but we can take a new route in our own town or in our local parks.  Interacting with the land in a new way keeps our relationship fresh, just like in marriages.  We need to see and appreciate the space from a new perspective to keep the flutter in our hearts.  And for that today, I am appreciative of our new walk.

5 Truths About Love And Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day.  We love it or hate it, dependent on if we have a romantic partner.  Ever since I was in school, we passed out Valentine’s to crushes or hoped we would receive one from an unrequited love.  The greeting card industry, Hollywood, and advertising agencies remind us that we have to show and receive love from our partner through romantic gestures.  We are searching to find this “love” state. There are so many things we get wrong, but here are 5 Truths about love and Valentine’s Day.  

  1. We Don’t Have To Wait For A Date.

The first time I heard of this concept was in Julia Cameron’s book The Artist Way.  She encourages us to take ourselves on a weekly artist date.  Oftentimes we wait for someone to go to that movie we have been longing to see or try out that new restaurant.  Why wait for a date to do something you love?  

Although this book is geared towards creatives, I loved the concept.  I have offered it as a homework exercise for many clients. 

  • How will you treat yourself to an artist date? 

2.Love Exists in Many Forms.

We know this in theory, but how often do you feel it?  I’m so glad that the television show Parks and Recreation had an episode about Galentine’s Day, where girlfriends celebrate love for each other.  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYv1zjBOMew)Years after the show ended, memes still come around every February 13th.   Love exudes in our friendships, family, co-workers, pets, community, or even with strangers.  

  • How does love show up in your life today?

3. You Can Still Love Exes And Old Crushes, It’s Ok. 

There may be a debate about this concept.  Some people think we need a clean break of all of our emotions about our exes and old crushes.  We can still love them, as they were witnesses to our lives and who we once were.  It doesn’t mean they have to stay in our lives in the same capacity or that we should still be in contact with them.  But we can still love the place they had in that period in our lives.  We helped shape each other. 

  • What lessons did you learn from your old flames?

4.Love Is Something That Happens To Us.

These days with online dating, we must swipe right, match with a partner, actually go on a date, have chemistry, and hope for a second date.  There’s the term of “falling in love,” as if it is out of control.  But love is not passive and doesn’t just happen to us if we have good luck.    Love is a verb and an action we can engage in daily.  Again, it doesn’t always have to be linked to romantic love.  The other day I witnessed a tourist who bought two loaves of bread to feed to the birds.  He didn’t expect anything in return or didn’t know anyone was watching him.  Automatically afterwards, I saw a mother running with her child, but backed up slowly so her child can win.  Both of these moments are love in action, and love is really all around if we open our eyes to see all the ways it arises.  

  • In what ways have you expressed love this week? 

5.If You Can’t Love This Moment You Will Always Be Searching.

For many of us, happiness and love are something we are always striving for.  If only I ______, then I will be happy.  Fill in the blanks can range from get married, have a child, find the perfect job, take that dream vacation, make $1,000,000, or retire.  Happiness is always over there.  But the truth is once we arrive, we may find that it is fleeting.  If we keep waiting for the right moment, we will always be waiting.  

  • How can we experience and love this moment right now? 
  • How can we remind ourselves to do this daily? 

We explored in this blog post 5 Truths About Love and Valentine’s Day.  Hopefully the reflection questions will help recall all the ways love exists in your life, regardless of your relationship status. Valentine’s Day is one day per year, but we need to remind ourselves how to show up and express love in all of it’s forms all other 364 days of the year.  

To explore more about the other types of pilgrimage we embark on, check out this piece https://amodernpilgrimage.com/types-of-pilgrimage/

A Modern Pilgrimage

Currently I am working on another blog www.amodernpilgrimage.com, which focuses on internal, external, and communal pilgrimages we take in today’s world.  In creating content for this blog, and accompanying pinterest and Instagram, I am sorting through old pilgrimages I have taken over the past 10 years. 

            There are so many forms of pilgrimage, not just religious or spiritual.  Pilgrimages can be food pilgrimages, art, nature, literature, internal journeys (such as silent retreats, meditation), or concerts in special locations.  Contemplation can exist in so many forms, and I want to remind people that in today’s world.  The primary essence of it is intention.  Intentional travel. 

            As I create reels from old photos and videos, I recall the moments I have spent over the years in foreign lands or even my homeland.  I am searching to create themes in these little vignettes.  This is a time where we have stopped printing pictures or creating tangible photo albums.  But for many of us these photos and videos exist in our phones.  They are resurrected in some ways with this project.  Some include individuals that are no longer in my life in the same capacity, even my beloved Puzo who died this past summer.  But we were all witnesses to each other’s life and are part of each other’s journey. 

            I recommend this practice for any of you to do.  Bring back those old memories to life.  These images do not have to be digitally dead in your phone, they can live on with a beautiful song to accompany it.  Author Anais Nin once said “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.”  Regardless if you are a writer or not, allow those sweet memories to be tasted twice.  And savor them. 

New Moon Versus Full Moon Rituals

A Full Moon arises tonight, and I feel it’s been beckoning me.  I began to go down the rabbit hole of researching Full Moon Rituals versus New Moon Rituals.  Here is what I learned.

New Moons are best for setting new goals for the next month.  Creating new goals are not only reserved for the new year.  We can do this every lunar cycle.  Explore what it is you want to transpire in the next 28 days.  What areas do you want to shift and how can you make that happen.  This is the time to vow to make changes in your life and commit to taking action.  New Moons are for manifestations.  

  • Take time to create an intention of how you want the next month to go
  • Visualize attaining these goals
  • Work on a vision board, crystal grid
  • Verbalize your goals aloud to a trusted friend for accountability

Full Moons are best for cleansing.  Let go of what no longer serves you.  But there are mystical healing properties of a full moon.  So one can additionally cleanse crystals, water, or oneself under a full moon.  We are to reflect on the goals we began two weeks ago during the New Moon phase, but we don’t take action now.  Energy is focused on taking care of one’s self.  Self-compassion and slowing down.  Clean out what is stale in one’s home and rest.  It’s a time for grounding ourselves.  Our emotions may be heightened during this time, therefore it’s best to not make any rash decisions.  Full Moons are for cleansing and compassion.

  • Clean out and declutter your space
  • Sage and clear your atmosphere of stuck energy
  • Cleanse yourself and crystals under a full moon
  • Slow it down with some yin yoga and hygge self care

Regardless if you believe in the moon phases or not, this makes sense.  Once a month focus on manifesting/directing where you want your life to go.  Another aspect of the month, chill out and take care of yourself.  I hope you take time to demonstrate some compassion for you on this lovely full moon evening. 

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