World Citizen

18 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world

– Socrates

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend about the concept of globalization.  National Geographic defines this as “increasing connectedness and interdependence of world cultures and economies.”  And I would agree, to some extent the world is getting smaller. Post pandemic, all is possible and accessible.   We are connected in this technological fast paced world.  

My recent travels to places such as Bulgaria, Serbia, North Macedona, and Gibraltar reminded me of this concept of globalization.  Many of these countries, I didn’t dream of visiting.  In my youth, I knew I would visit France, England, and Spain, but the Balkans were not on my list.  And yet I was here.  For some reason, I thought I would be one of the few tourists that travelled to this land.  I knew of only a tiny number of friends or family who have visited here.  But what surprised me were there were not only tons of tourists, but also digital nomads.  Our boundaries to where we travel now as Westerners have expanded.  I was particularly surprised by hearing so many American accents.  The Cyrillic language was made easy and translated into English in the city centers for access of non-locals.  Cafes were cutesy and instagrammable.  We don’t have to travel only to Paris to linger in a cute café, we can hop over to Skopje.    

         One evening in Sofia, we shared a dinner with two Italians that were colleagues and were living in Bulgaria.  We decided to sit at one table together, because the strict hostess at a local restaurant would not seat either of our parties of two.  Our attempt earlier that day to get reservations failed.  There were no two tables of two.  But now we could be a party of four, and so we sat with strangers.  When we walked to our table our new friend said, “it’s destiny,” I knew it was meant to be.  She was speaking my universal language of synchronicty and magic.  This woman had already lived in Serbia, Romania, and now Bulgaria.  She was in the textile industry and due to lack of jobs in her country, she sought work in the Balkans.  The European borders were open to her and she was immersed in it for years.  

Several days before this we had a server and consultant at this Creperie in Sofia.  He was Bulgarian, but lived twenty years in America.  We spoke of everything from Yogananda, consumerism, over working, yearning for peacefulness, to modern dating.  As we talked with him for two hours, I realized I had probably more similarities with him than I had with people in my hometown that never left.  

         This past week in Malaga, I hosted an event with Girls Gone International. We were a group of less than ten women, but all of us were from different location.  We were from America, Ukraine, Prague, New Zealand, England, and Australia.  All of us were living in Spain now, but have lived around the world.  The border lines between countries are becoming fainter.  We are more connected than we think. 

         And what I find is that I can connect with the people who have left their hometown to live and venture to other lands.  One has to know there are other ways to live in the world.  We limit ourselves when we think our town is the best one in all the lands and there is no other way to experience the world.  This is small town mentality, whether you are from Massillon Ohio or Malaga Spain.  There are other landscapes to see, exotic food to taste, fascinating people to meet.  You can return home, and have a base but know there is more out there.  The more we travel, we see that we are more the same than different.  There is not one way to be, but simply a way of living we have been born into and socialized to conform to.  

         I would love to offer you the gift of travel.  And it’s not just to see the landmarks that our favorite authors write about or visiting locations we have seen depicted in movies.  It’s not to consume the luxuries of the most exotic spices and textiles.  It’s the experience of interacting with others, and the breaking down of barriers that have been built up in our heads.  Globalization is normalization.  It’s validation of our connection and a reminder we are one.

More the same than different

08 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , ,

         Currently I am visiting my 54th country and 64th territory: Bulgaria.  I didn’t know what to expect from this Eastern European location.  But I find, whenever I don’t expect much, I am pleasantly surprised.  Sofia, the capital of Bulgaria, currently caters to the cosmopolitan traveller.  The digital nomad millennial influence has impacted this space, with new cutesy cafes, brunch spots, and instagrammable restaurants popping up throughout the city.  It’s a recognition that many of us are longing to linger in places that are beautiful and welcoming.  The outdoor relaxing cafes are no longer solely reserved for the streets of Paris.  They can exist anywhere, and this includes Bulgaria. Why not?

         What I found truly interesting, was today when my friend Isabella and I, ate breakfast at a local creperie.  One of the staff members chatted with us for at least an hour.  Although Daniel is Bulgarian, he spent the past twenty-two years in America, and recently moved back to Bulgaria for family reasons.  The three of us never embarked on small talk of the weather and “tourist things to do in Sofia.”  We talked of “American” values of overworking to pay for our consumeristic lifestyles.  We explored getting lost in the worlds of what we thought was important to us, and therefore losing our health or time for proper relationships.  Collectively, all three of us intentionally made a shift in how we lived and worked to lead more balanced lives.  We did and are purposefully continuing to do this in different ways.  Although we were born in different countries, we had an American upbringing in our late  teens through thirties.

         Having a conversation like this, in a land I never thought I would visit, is refreshing.  It’s the Law of Attraction.  Like attracts like.   One finds you attract people of similar minds and lifestyles.  It felt “random” that our middle aged Bulgarian server, was drawn to the works of Yogananda and SRF (Self Realization Fellowship).  We bonded in talking initially of this Indian guru who set up shop in California to spread spiritual principles in the world.  All three of us had visited one of his SRF places of worship in California.  Here we were living it, and having a discussion about it in Eastern Europe.  In the end, it doesn’t matter the type of job or title you have or the amount of money you have in your bank account.  What matters is the experiences you choose to have in life, and living in alignment with your values.  These values are not those placed upon you by your culture, family, or media, but those that you fully chose.  But what is required to do all of this is to step outside of your hometown, see parts of the world, and see that we are more alike than different. We must unlearn to learn. 

Space Needed For Integration

05 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

         For the past several weeks, I have been travelling non-stop.  It was an intentional trip to my homeland to see friends, attend an energy psychology training, and take care of some personal things.  As usual, it was full.  I visited 5 states in less than three weeks.  Every moment went as well as planned, but it felt as if I was checking things off a list to ensure the process ran smoothly.  Moments of downtime were embraced, as there was few that existed along the way.  

         And this is one of them.  Arrival at the airport.  After checking in, going through security, the bathroom, and having a special treat.  I no longer feel the sweat from the hurried rush of going from one point to another.  My breath has slowed down as I sit at my gate.  I can relax.  Although I am surrounded by others, I am briefly alone.  There’s still so much to process of what has occurred, but simultaneously it is prepping for what is next. I will only have one day in my new home of Malaga, before a several day excursion to another land. Therefore each moment of free time is freedom.  

         I am reminded how often we travel like this.  If we have a regular “job,” we may have limited vacation days.  We fit in so much, that there is little time to integrate.  And this is necessary to see, appreciate, and re-live in the beauty of the trip you just took. 

         Parallel to this, I recently attended a sound healing workshop, where infamous sound healer Jonathan Goldman shared several of his secrets to sound healing.  One was the value of silence.  Silence is where the healing occurs.  Goldman stated “silence is the yin to sound’s yang.”  He gave an example, that if we hum for five minutes, we must leave five minutes of silence for it to integrate into our bodies. We think sound is what heals, but it is sound linked with silence.  They need each other.

         And so as we gear up for our summer travel plans, it’s not just visiting a new land that is important.  It is also taking time after travel to process what occurs.  Perhaps you do this at then end of one’s trip, on arrival home, or journaling on a daily basis in one’s hotel room breaking up what is learned day by day.  

         What will be the yin to your yang? 

Helpers Along the Way

31 May 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

What makes a trip memorable isn’t always the destination one arrives at, but the assistance one receives from strangers along the way.  This was the case for me this past week.  I have been in America for two weeks.  Although I am from America, I haven’t lived here in nearly 10 years.  This trip had many facets to it, and was tightly booked.  I had planned that each component would go according to plan.  Family visits in NYC and Philly, an energy psychology conference in Maryland.  In addition, part of my journey included heading to Arizona to empty out my storage via donations and preparation for shipment to Spain.  Going through one’s belongings of items you have put aside for years is a difficult feat.  It’s physically and psychologically draining.  But I had assistance from some strangers.  

I was lucky enough to have my mom join me for this adventure, and used miles for our flight from Philly to Phoenix.  Because we were using miles, the layover I landed was a 6 hour wait! I reckoned this would be do-able with my annual one day passes to use with United, but when we got to the United Club a sign was posted stating “no one day passes.”  I thought I would risk it, and an exception would be made.  A staff member obliged and offered a simple “why not?”  He let us in.  As we sat in the lounge and grabbed breakfast, I conjured to further chance my luck.  I asked a staff member if we could be bumped to an earlier flight, and she squeezed down our six hour layover to 90 minutes.  She warned us there was a possibility our luggage wouldn’t make it.  But luck continued and our luggage arrived on time.  Travel blessings were abound. With each small level of assistance, I thanked the universe for all the help along the way from these everyday angels.  

After landing in Phoenix, grabbing lunch, we headed straight to work at a storage facility in Tempe.  I had zero plan of where we were going to donate all these belongings and furniture.  Our hybrid rental car was only mid size.  The local Goodwill took all donations, but they did not have the availability pick items up.  I didn’t know how people sold or gave away items anymore.  Craigslist?  Facebook Marketplace?  There wasn’t enough time to list each item and sell it.

But on our first day at the storage facility, a fellow storage neighbor walked by and chatted with us.  My mom offered her a massage chair I was donating.   She responded with a quick and exuberant “yes!”  We informed her, I had numerous other items I would be giving away.  She said she would take all of them, and she did.  Throughout the week, Roberta was there at moments when we needed her.  My mom said in some ways she was like an angel, you asked for her and she was right there in the storage facility ready to pick up an item.  In total we spent 20 hours in three days sorting through this storage, and this would have been even longer if we didn’t have Roberta’s assistance.  

It amazes me how help can be there when you need it, and it comes from the unexpected.  With each person we met and assisted us along the journey, I gave them one of these Gratitude Puzo/Bella Cards.  It’s a small simple way to offer gratitude, but it is tangible and memorable.  I stayed in that positive zone: offering kindness, receiving kindness, offering gratitude.  The cycle continues.  

Life may not always work out as smoothly and seamlessly as this, but sometimes the kindness of strangers may surprise us.  All we have to do is ask, be willing to receive.  And also know that it is our mission as humans to pay that back forward with others, in one way or another. 

Our Beach Personalities

18 Mar 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

“At the beach, life is different. Time doesn’t move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun. “ – Sandy Gingras

I am lucky enough to currently live walking distance to the port and beach.  Bella and I go nearly everyday.  And one thing I love to do is watch people as they engage with the sun and beach.  The area I am in is the Costa del Sol, entitled this after an excessive amount of days of sun per year.  Due to the fact that the average is around 325 days of sun, there are many tourists, retirees, and transplants from colder countries during the winter months.  

I witness people first walk onto the port, seeing the Mediterranean and the sun on a winter day. They seem stunned by the beauty.  Selfies are taken.  People sit at the first restaurant at the port to take in the local musicians, and drink a sangria or cana.  Their shoulders relax.  People then continue their stroll down the port, and eventually head to the beach.

It’s here I observe the moment they have been waiting for.  Although the sea is too cold to swim in at the moment, some still do.  It’s normal to see children get excited when arriving at the beach, because this is what children do.  But oftentimes, the adults become childlike as well.  I noticed a woman who seemed so happy being here on a weekday, that she started to slow dance with the ocean.  I saw another woman playing tag with the ocean waves that came to shore, she was in jeans and tried to run away as they came close to her.  Of course the ocean won that round, as they generally win the majority of rounds.  But the other day I saw something that will be etched in my memory.

The weather was warm, it was in the 80s (or 25 plus celsius), therefore more people were in the water.  It was the first weekend, I was in a bikini.  This is how warm it is.   There was a man who looked like a local with his son, he seemed to have just gotten out of the water.  His son laid on a towel in the sand.  This man rolled in the sand like he was a sushi roll being wrapped.  He did it with joy.  With his arms up and showed his child how great he was feeling.  Generally the sand is something everyone I know avoids, but he embraced it.  He left it on for at least ten minutes, maybe it served as an exfoliator as one does in the Dead Sea or in the spas.  Eventually he took another dip in the Mediterranean and appeared refreshed.  This was actually a joy to witness. 

I’m sharing this on the blog because it made me smile.  It served as a reminder that I need to be present to find pleasure and appreciation in another’s joy.  I wouldn’t have witnessed it if I was on my phone, and no I wasn’t quick enough to capture it on camera.  But it’s etched in my mind.  I want to encourage you to be present each time you are outside, not only to be with all of nature, people, and animals that are around you, but to observe the little things in strangers around you.  Happiness is all around.

New Lands, Same Excitement

08 Mar 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Yesterday I just booked a flight for this summer to Sofia Bulgaria, which will include a day trip to Northern Macedonia.  I couldn’t be more excited.  These will be my 51st and 52nd countries to visit respectively (depending on what country counter you are using).  Generally these countries are not on people’s to do list, but the more one travels, the further one wants to explore.  And a feeling returned that I hadn’t had in awhile….

Excitement.

Yes, I have travelled post the pandemic, including moving two new countries post Covid: France and Spain.  But I haven’t visited new countries since February 2020.  These were Lithuania and Ukraine (image below).  Both of which I loved, and were timely.  

Although I thought some of my wanderlust was dying down, I was surprised to see it still exists within for unchartered territory.   What makes these travels more delightful is going to places I never dreamed of going to before.  I knew I would always see the top 5 of Europe because this is what is sold to us on American films and media.   But when I go to these new locations that I never dreamed of, it’s a reminder that I am pushing myself beyond the boundaries.  I am expanding the box and surpassing a goal that I never even set. 

There is an online organization called the Travel Century Club, which has a different type of count of territories.  They have over 300 territories.  If you have travelled to at least 100, you can join the club. My new goal is to hit the 100 club by the time I am 50.  And I think this is doable.  At this time, the number I am at is 64 territories.  This is an average of at least 6 more per year to visit.  https://travelerscenturyclub.org/countries-and-territories/alphabetical-list

I was excited about it, I told my mother today.  “I have a new goal.  I want to join the Travel Century Goal.”  After explaining what it was, she said, “oh I thought you had a real goal like of your life purpose, not a travel goal.”  I said “no, right now this is my purpose, at least until I’m 50.”  She laughed it off.  But why can’t it be?  There are certain goals I have that are out of my control, but this goal I can accomplish.  Why can’t a life goal be one’s current purpose? One’s North Star? 

It’s the internal excitement that was the signal to me that my soul again is once stirred.  This is the fuel I have been lacking.  And it is enough.  We are the ones who dictate our purposes, our lives.  Our purpose doesn’t have to be monumental.  It can shift.  It can be what pulls your life force.  And right now for me it’s the Century Club. 

Loneliness is a Normal Emotion

28 Feb 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

Often I have friends back home ask me the question, “Do you get lonely?”  They ask this because I have lived overseas for ten years.  Bella and I are currently living in our fourth country.  And the answer is yes, but I think the emotion of loneliness has become so normal that I do not always name it that.

I am not ashamed to say I get lonely.  This does not have to do with the lack of a romantic partner, but the lack of true friends and community.  There’s so many ways we can be lonely, but all has to do with lack of connection. The thing is we can be lonely, even if we are surrounded by others and do not feel understood.  We can even be lonely if we are living in our hometown, but currently not feeling bonded with others.  Loneliness doesn’t always have to do with newness to a city, but oftentimes that can go hand in hand.  Years ago, at a therapy conference I heard author and relationship expert Esther Perel say that the number one problem in America was loneliness.  This fact was verbalized pre-covid.  We know with the pandemic, loneliness increased in societies throughout the world.  We had to learn how to navigate this emotion in this new way of being in the world. 

But this is a blog on happiness? True, but to avoid these difficult emotions is to veer into the world of toxic positivity.  We must embrace the totality of our emotions.  It’s when we know we can feel the lows, that the highs are appreciated at a greater depth.

So what do you do with loneliness?  

Recognize.  Notice what is arising internally, give it a name.  If you could stop a moment, and tune into your body.  Where in your body is this arising?  What is it like? It’s the first step.   

Allow Feelings.  Give yourself permission to feel it.  And what does that look like for you? Tears.  Frustration. Anger.  Let it out.  Give yourself space to feel, and offer the self- compassion to yourself to be vulnerable right now. 

Voice. Voice out your feelings to others.  This could be to a therapist, or via phone calls with friends and family in other parts of the world.  You may express it through journal entries that release the turmoil inside.

Elevate. Now you took the time to notice what’s going on, feel the feels, voice it, and now you can elevate it.  This is transforming the motion.  It’s been said that emotion is energy in motion, and if emotions are truly expressed and felt only last several minutes. So now what? Maybe you want to harness that loneliness and transform it into a creative project. Or it’s a time to reassess your goals.  It can also be a time to now express what in your life you are grateful for.  

Although this process is laid out for loneliness, you can use a variation of this for any difficult emotion.  This is temporary, just like everything else.  Next time you are lonely, turn to this process, and let me know how it works for you.  It will pass and you are okay.

A Modern Pilgrimage

10 Feb 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

Currently I am working on another blog www.amodernpilgrimage.com, which focuses on internal, external, and communal pilgrimages we take in today’s world.  In creating content for this blog, and accompanying pinterest and Instagram, I am sorting through old pilgrimages I have taken over the past 10 years. 

            There are so many forms of pilgrimage, not just religious or spiritual.  Pilgrimages can be food pilgrimages, art, nature, literature, internal journeys (such as silent retreats, meditation), or concerts in special locations.  Contemplation can exist in so many forms, and I want to remind people that in today’s world.  The primary essence of it is intention.  Intentional travel. 

            As I create reels from old photos and videos, I recall the moments I have spent over the years in foreign lands or even my homeland.  I am searching to create themes in these little vignettes.  This is a time where we have stopped printing pictures or creating tangible photo albums.  But for many of us these photos and videos exist in our phones.  They are resurrected in some ways with this project.  Some include individuals that are no longer in my life in the same capacity, even my beloved Puzo who died this past summer.  But we were all witnesses to each other’s life and are part of each other’s journey. 

            I recommend this practice for any of you to do.  Bring back those old memories to life.  These images do not have to be digitally dead in your phone, they can live on with a beautiful song to accompany it.  Author Anais Nin once said “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.”  Regardless if you are a writer or not, allow those sweet memories to be tasted twice.  And savor them. 

Kindness as Purpose

05 Nov 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

The past month I have been travelling in America, visiting family members and friends.  But also during the journey I explored New Orleans.  It was the first time me or my mother went to New Orleans, and we wanted to experience Halloween there together.  Viola!  We did. 

It’s definitely a city of contradictions, and I think I will need some time process the experience there.  The resilience, mixed with poverty, history, tragedy, joy, celebration, and traditions.  There’s a lot to unpack in this one city.

But one thing I found fascinating was the kindness I experienced there.  Regardless if the person we were interacting with was a taxi driver, store shop attendant, tour guide, waiter, or an African drum circle drummer- there was pure kindness.  Nobody asked you about your profession.  Some people opened up with ease and told their life stories.  After doing so, they encouraged us to experience the best their city had to offer.  I appreciated that.  I gave out many of these Puzo Bella kindness cards, perhaps you received one (if you are reading this).  I wanted to return any kind of warmth and gratitude back to them. 

  I couldn’t help but wonder, what if our perspective of purpose was all wrong.  What if our purpose here on Earth was to simply be kind to others?  This is all.   It impacts others’ lives, it’s positively contagious, and others’ lives are momentarily lifted.  Life doesn’t have to be so complicated with the questions of “what should I do with my life?” or “how can I leave my mark on the world?”  It could be as simple as how can I express kindness today?  Perhaps that is enough. 

I hope this moment of clarity stays with me in this next phase of life.  As I explore the next phase ahead of me and contemplate on what my purpose is and how it is directed, can I remind myself my purpose today can equate with kindness?  It could be words of encouragement to a friend or family member.  A smile to a stranger.  Or a momentary conversation with an acquaintance, where your entire presence is made available.  Kindness is priceless.  It can be enough.  

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” —Mother Teresa.

Softening your Traveler’s Gaze

11 Oct 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

What would happen if instead of viewing what went wrong in our day, we focused on what’s right?  I know many people have a gratitude practice, where you reflect either at the beginning or end of your day about what positive things have occurred.  But can we do this now in real time?  

I am at the airport flying to the states for one month.  Travelling can always bring about stress for people.  Everything has to align up perfectly for you to take your flight.  My friend Isabella arrived yesterday from America to Paris to watch my dog for the next month.  There were many mishaps that could have occurred but all was well for her journey, which in turn impacted my journey.  I pre-booked an Uber for this morning at 5:50 am.  The driver could have cancelled last minute (as has happened before), there could be traffic, or an accident.  But he was on time and friendly.  I was surprised to find a bit of a line at the airport at the check in area, but I chose to listen to a meditation when in line.  I closed my eyes and surrendered, I gently peaked my eyelids open at times to ensure if I needed to waddle several steps forward.  As I met with a staff member to ask questions of why I was in Paris, I was calm and peaceful.  She even inquired of the details of my book.  It was as if the universe was continuing to nudge me to get back to writing.  Another staff member who printed my ticket and complimented the color of my luggage.  Since my flight is nearly full, she offered to check in my carry on for free.  I obliged.  It’s always a pleasant turn of events when things line up.  I couldn’t help but compare it to last week’s flight to Spain, where there were so many missteps.  But we still landed on time. 

When we can focus on what goes right as it is happening, versus taking it for granted, there is beauty in this.  We can enjoy life as it is occurring, not just in retrospect. We can also show appreciation for those we interact with, friends and strangers, in real time.  Look them in the eyes and say thank you.  Giving out these Puzo/Bella gratitude cards (which you may have received once if reading this) helps slow me down during this process and be present with who is in front of me.  It reminds me there is an opportunity to be grateful and personable at any moment.  

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