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Holiday Travels

20 Dec 2025 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #adventure, #europe, #holiday, #holidaytravel, #kindness, #mindfulness, #strangers, #travel, blog, travel-tips

It’s that time of year, when people have accumulated vacation time to visit friends and family throughout the world. Highways are crowded, trains are booked, and flights are delayed. Generally it’s not my favorite time to travel, as the world is temporarily filled with chaos as people are trying to reach their destination.

I can’t help but observe fellow travellers around me. As I write this, I finished my second flight to Panama and awaiting my third to head to Colombia, for a week long cruise. The first flight was two hours late, from the tiny airport in SLO. I kept my cool, because my layover of four hours had space. But others didn’t. As we landed in Terminal 7 in LAX, some of us walked towards Bradley International terminal. The shuttle was closed temporarily for 30 minutes. We had the option of waiting or leaving the airport, walking 10-15 minutes, going back through TSA to head to our gates. One family was worried, they didn’t know if they would make it in time. Another man in his 60s decided to walk, I walked with him. As we walked we shared stories. “I have to make this flight to Tahiti, I haven’t spent Christmas with my family in 30 years.” He had travelled from Denver, a delayed flight, made it to another flight, and was determined to make this particular flight on Air France. He was meeting his family in Tahiti as his sister and her partner have been sailing the world for six months and the family decided why not meet in Tahiti. I said I was headed to Colombia. He reminisced while briskly walking. “I lived there for a month when I was 17, with two other expats. Someone let us rent their place for $8 for the whole month. “ He proceeded to share how he spent six months hitchhiking South America. What an adventurer. We parted ways, wished each other luck. I didn’t know his name, but I will remember his story.

As I made it to my gate, I sat and wait. There were 2 Copa Airlines headed to Panama within several minutes of each other. I asked the agent why, if it was overbooked. She said “we always have two flights.” I later learned Panama and Copa Airlines is the gateway to the rest of South America. I listened as people shared their final destination. One American man said he was headed to Brazil. The staff member asked for his visa, he didn’t know he needed one and panicked. Could he get one virtually? No, it would take five days. He wanted to still take the plane and just hang out in Panama, she wouldn’t allow it. I recall my aunt and husband went to Brazil for their wedding, not knowing they too needed visas, until being turned away at the airport. They headed to NYC for an emergency embassy visit and made the most of their honeymoon. Noted for future me, check for visas for Brazil.

I felt bad for this man, he probably organized everything for this trip. In my head, I hypothesized he paid for his parking, coordinated vacation days, paid for a pet sitter, hotels, excursions, and this ticket. Perhaps he wasn’t meant to go to Brazil and will be redirected to go on a journey somewhere else or have a staycation.

Holiday travels don’t always go as planned, and we need to leave space for this. It definitely is a time of stress. I noticed I craved Asian fast food and headed to Panda Express after running to my gate. A staff member ate Cheetos as she looked at her list of to dos. People scrolled on their phones to distract themselves from time spent waiting. Another passenger on the second flight to Panama came to my gate and requested to get on that flight. The other flight was delayed and he would miss his layover, could he switch? The gate agent said no and would not help him. I thanked the stars that my plane was not late and I could make my layover. But this could have been me too. Yet in the midst of this, I noticed two Nordic travellers having a beer, as I wolfed down my Chinese food. They appeared as they were in total chill mode, as if they were just having pints at a local bar. These two seemed to be enjoying the travel moment, something many of us were missing. During the holidays we all have the potential to be stressed. Give yourself some grace during this season, and also compassion to your fellow travellers and humans. You don’t know what they are going through. Notice the little things that make you smile, however ridiculous. At this café in Panama as I write this my Almond Cappaccino was $8, the same price as that fellow traveller’s month in Colombia. The duty free shop was filled with holiday carolers and Mr. and Mrs. Claus available for photo ops. One bathroom cleaner played Reggaeton as she cleaned the sinks. In another bathroom, a cleaner wore a holiday reindeer headband. Somehow they were making the most of the busy work day. Take in the joy where you can, and spread some if possible. Notice what’s going on around you, how other people are engaging with the day, observe the moment versus totally distracting yourself from the world. Find gratitude for what is working. We’re all just trying to make it to our next de

Present Magic

17 Dec 2025 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #adventure, #california, #life, #magic, #mindfulness, #nature, #oceanlife, #otters, #presence, #travel, birds, writing

Today, I opted to walk towards the beach for my morning journaling. This is a practice I’ve been doing on my days off, while living a five minute stroll downhill from Avila Beach. The sun was just about to rise over the cliffs. As I walked in the distance, I saw something large moving. It takes practice and a keen eye to watch areas for movement, and it’s easy to be fooled. It could be simply a larger bird bathing, yesterday I was at a loss, and thought I saw an animal playing with a ball in the distance. It was a human swimming with a bright orange vest. But today, my eyes stared into the horizon. As I walked closer, I saw in the water a dolphin, swimming solo towards the sunrise. I watched with awe and wonder. How grateful I was to witness it. Another passerby noted, “it’s beautiful isn’t it?” I pointed out the dolphin I just saw, he informed me he had a seen a group of 20-30 seals that just swam by.

I was just about to sit on the cement steps looking onto the pier, when I saw something moving beyond me. A woman was looking through a telescope at this little being, and as she walked by me she smiled and was wearing an “awe of god” shirt. The universe was definitely speaking to me. I walked onto the pier and saw a little otter down below, cleaning himself, having fun rolling in circles in the water. The sun glistened like golden flecks in the water as I stared at him with joy. He seemed to notice me and I’d like to think he was putting on a show. On the other end of the pier, I saw something move at the corner of my eye, but did not stay above water for too long. I caught a glimpse of a seal.

And although I went to the beach to journal, I spent an hour being mesmerized by what was in my presence… The morning sunrise served as the backdrop for the dolphin, seal, and otter, and the variety of birds that were greeting my morning. Sometimes life redirects us to just be and witness the magic that lies before us. But we have to be present to observe this.

What magic have you witnessed today?

Savor the Chaos in Tokyo

17 Feb 2025 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #chaos, #mindfulness, #tokyo, #travel, #wanderlust

‘The overriding sense of Tokyo is that it is a city devoted to the new, sped up in a subtle but profound way: a postmodern science-fiction story set ten minutes in the future.’ ― David Rakoff

I am someone who yearns for a contemplative life. Last year I made a vow with a friend to not buy clothes or shoes for the entire year, and for the most part I kept to it. I was intentional with all I brought into my world.

And now Tokyo. Being here is overstimulation for all the senses. Shopping the streets of Harajuku, my inner 7 year old comes out. She’s longing for all things cute (here known as Kawaii) that she didn’t get. This includes Hello Kitty characters for my hair and feet. Jackets and shoes that have dainty ruffles on them, shoes that increase my height and look they are made out of bubble gum, and rainbow colored snacks that give you a sugar high simply looking at them. Cafes are filled with animals to cuddle with either to further feed the stimulation, or perhaps calm it down. I’ve seen not only puppy and cat cafes, but micropigs and hedgehog ones.

Last year’s restraint has been temporarily erased, as somehow I found myself purchasing four pairs of shoes in one day in Harajuku. I’m not sure what happened. I was under the spell of bright happy cotton candy colors that clouded my vision. The river of people were moving at an incessant speed. Instead of fighting the stream, we went with it.

It makes sense there are pockets of serenity intentionally placed throughout the city. Nostalgic jazz by the likes of Ella Fitzgerald softly plays as the backdrop in multiple cafes. It seems as if shrines have strategically been placed within parks to soften the volume Tokyo. All of these are necessary as one walks through the crowded streets of tourists and locals. It blows my mind that this city has 4 times the amount of people living in it than New York City does. And as I write this in a high rise hotel overlooking the streets and waterways of Tokyo, I’m appreciative of the current calm moment that is existing before another day begins.

My word of the year is “savor.” What I realize that to savor is not just the quiet moments that exist within nature and silence. Savor also is to take in the vibrancy of colors, joy, cuisine, curiosity, the fast pulse of city that vibrates at a different pace to one’s own. Savor the chaos, find stillness when one can, and know you have a choice how you want to flow when you return home. What will be integrated after the travels you’ve processed?

‘For those with restless, curious minds, fascinated by layer upon layer of things, flavours, tastes and customs, which we will never fully be able to understand, Tokyo is deliciously unknowable. I’m sure I could spend the rest of my life there, learn the language, and still die happily ignorant.’ – Anthony Bourdain

Love Through a Labyrinth

28 Sep 2024 4 Comments

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #archetype, #caminodesantiago, #contemplation, #labyrinth, #meditation, #mindfulness, #pilgriamge, #travel, #wanderlust, blog, labyrinths, spirituality

“The unicursal path of the labyrinth is what differentiates it and sets it apart as a spiritual tool. The labyrinth does not engage our thinking minds. It invites our intuitive, pattern-seeking, symbolic mind to come forth. It presents us with only one, but profound, choice. To enter a labyrinth is to choose to walk a spiritual path.”
― Dr. Lauren Artress

Labyrinths often are confused with mazes. At a quick glance, they appear similar. Oftentimes a circular journey that appears to trick us as we walk towards the center. Yet there is one differences. Mazes have multiple options one can talk, a small form of choose your own adventure, filled with false pathways and dead-ends. But labyrinths do not trick us, there is only one way in and out.

Over the years, I’ve wandered through numerous labyrinths, but inside churches, buildings, and in gardens and retreat centers. Yet, the experience at Chartres Cathedral was profound. I had heard once that the labyrinths, particularly in France during the medieval times served as a metaphorical pilgrimage people could take if they did not have the time or physical strength to take the 500 plus mile walk via Camino de Santiago. This contemplative practice offered a piece of the reflection that could occur.

I was reminded that a pilgrimage begins with intention, often when one leaves the home. Last week, as we waited at Gare Montparnesse for our train track to be displayed to Chartres, we witnessed a staff member arguing with her boss. He didn’t seem to be understanding her as her voice elevated, at one point she screamed and hit the floor. Was it a panic attack, stress induced stress or a dramatic act? We couldn’t tell as a handsome passenger who also was a doctor, offered his help. As the fainting woman was sent away in a mini ambulance golf cart, I wondered had the pilgrimage begun. Each component played a part in the day: the heavy bags we carried, a miscommunication with the uber driver, the short but steep distance we walked from the train station to the hotel? A line of police vans drove by and small tents were getting set up. I couldn’t help but wonder what type of celebration was occurring or who was here. We queried our receptionist, who stated simply that someone important was in town. Thoughts immediately went to political importance. When I inquired if it was the president, she nodded her head, not wanting to verbally share who was here but not denying it either.

And so the pilgrimage really did begun. Each persona we met with during the day served as an archetype for the journey: the victim, the doctor, the police, the staff, and the president. We were prompt to arrive at Chartres Cathedral, as we were aware the labyrinth is only open for several hours on Fridays during some parts of the year. But as we walked to the Cathedral, we noticed crowds of students gathered outside and inside. Was it a massive field trip or something else? I later learned it was a photo op with President Macron. We were so in the zone of the moment that we didn’t seem to absorb he was in the Cathedral the same time as us. The labyrinth appeared before us, uncovered from the chairs that usually sit on top of it. I was curious how this labyrinth experience would compare to others I have done in the world.

One is to think of an intention as you enter a labyrinth. And so I did. As I meandered from one side of it to the other I reflected on this intention. Volunteers guarded the labyrinth, from tourists who stumbled unknowingly onto the labyrinth. They ensured that all who would grace the space offered their respect to what lay underneath them. If they were not going to walk it appropriately, they would have to leave the labyrinth and walk around the perimeter. The protector archetype was present, as was the fool, and the student. And as I walked the labyrinth, I would repeat my mantra. Pause. Repeat. Many of us were spread out, but as we entered the final stretch of the labyrinth, there was a bit of a human traffic jam. I wondered if I would feel frustrated with so many people there. Were people taking it seriously or was it just another quick tourist photo op?

But something shifted and changed. I dropped into this sentimental place observing my fellow pilgrims. And then I couldn’t stop crying for the beauty of the moment. This entire day was a metaphor of life. All the characters and interactions, and in the symbolism of this walk we were each headed for a moment in the center. The Chartres labyrinth is special in there are 6 petals in the center, for this particular walk, unspoken rules were created were our specific group. We were all strangers from different parts of the world momentarily gathered to embark on this contemplative tradition. As we walked into the entryway to the center, each of us would step to the left, as the person in the center stepped out. Some people had their hands to their hearts, bellies, both, or even palms open, ready to receive. As the person stood in the center, they faced the altar and infamous stained glass windows. It was as if it was there moment to shine, receive our quiet intentions and prayers, before stepping out. I couldn’t help but compare this specific part to one’s death, offerings, acknowledgement and prayers are made for a moment in time in one’s honor before you step out of the labyrinth.

Each time you walk the labyrinth it’s different but this specific moment will be etched in my mind. It served as a powerful reminder of meeting each part of ourselves on the journey of life. And having a moment of grace before one steps out of their path on earth. What are your stepping into? What are you leaving behind?

And so I challenge you to find a local labyrinth, make one, engage in a finger labyrinth and notice what metaphors arise on the journey.

Bad Luck Good Luck, Who Knows?

24 Aug 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #dogs, #mindfulness, #mythology, #zen

There is an ancient zen myth, which discusses a farmer who has a series of fortunate and unfortunate events that arise throughout his life. Although the farmer does not judge these events, the neighbors do. They are quick to label the events as good luck or bad luck, the farmer always responds with the phrase: “bad luck, good luck, who knows?”

Oftentimes we are quick to judge when things happen if we are having a good or bad day, how the rest of the day will play out. We want to be like the neighbor and label it. But it’s important to not have judgmental thoughts of what is out there. These thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies, which is great if things are going well but can be a downward spiral if they are not.

This was the case last week when I awoke. I had a flight from Santa Barbara, I had a leisurely morning waking up an hour later than my usual work day: 545 am. My 15 ½ year old dog Bella was slightly overworked with her cough, I think her psychic abilities knew I was leaving. But I was able to calm her down. We both were relaxed, and I generally don’t check my messages before my spiritual practice is over, but this time I did. My dog sitter sent a message at 5am. She would not be able to be at her home on time, requesting I drop off my dog an hour later. This would have made me a bit late to the airport. It was 645 am. I started to freak out sending her several messages, but opted to call her to see if I could drop her off now. It was then 7am. I got to the house at 710, after a man was honking at me that I was in his parking spot. I reparked the car, yelling “I’m just going to be one minute,” dropped off Bella, and I found out her son would have left the house at 715. I went back home, showered, and went to my pending doctor’s appointment. I realized that since I didn’t have Bella, I didn’t have to run back home and would have an hour to spare in Santa Barbara before needing to get to the airport. Throughout the morning, it flowed like this. Something that could have been bad to something that balanced it out. I understood that life fluctuates like this. It’s not good, nor bad. It is. Could I go with the flow of what the world was giving me without labeling it?

And because I was able to, life continued to offer me the vissisitudes of the day. I could appreciate all that it was. Bad luck, good luck, who knows?

If you want to read a deeper version of the zen myth, check out this link below.

https://mindfulness.com/mindful-living/are-these-bad-times-or-good-times-the-story-of-the-zen-farmer

Heal the Healer

04 Aug 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #healer, #healing, #mindfulness, #soundbaths, #sun, #therapy

“Nobody escapes being wounded. We are all wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not, ‘How can we hide our wounds?’ so we don’t have to be embarrassed, but ‘How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?’ When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.”- Henri Nouwen

Working in the field of mental health today is finally being recognized as a valuable and honorable profession. Yet, at the same time being a therapist for over 20 years has the potential to carry heaviness with it. Like most jobs, some weeks are better than others, and this week was on the more hectic side. The week was full of clients, consultations, meetings, crisis situations, paperwork, and a 30 minute presentation to an audience of over 300 people. As the day ended, I felt exhausted, and wanted to sleep away the weekend. Luckily, my co-worker and I decided to treat ourselves to a sunset sound bath held at Meditation Mount.

I have never gone to this special place, held in the hills in Ojai, a spiritual center that has been active for over 50 years, offering weekly meditations, yoga classes, and other workshops. For the past several years, I have been holding sound baths on a monthly basis whether in the UK, France, Spain, and now California. I have to admit, it’s quite rare that I am able to attend these myself. It’s like a physician who never gets around to going to the doctor. I was so grateful for the opportunity to be a participant, particularly during a stressful week.

The outdoor space was beautiful, held in the hills of Ojai, looking over the rural fields. The sun shined heavily on us, as we laid on yoga mats. Parasols were offered to attendees to strategically minimize the sun’s impact. A family of bunnies looked at us with curiosity, as the sounds melted over us. It took awhile for my mind to wind down, as I tried to let go of the week’s stressors. I tried to turn down the wonder of what instruments were being used and where in the outdoor space were the facilitators at.

As time passed, I noticed my hips getting heavy, tension arising from my first and second chakra. Although I have led an outdoor sound bath, I have never been in one. And as I laid on the grass on top of the Ojai hill, I felt as if the Earth was taking the sorrows and traumas from my body that I had heard throughout the week. My body had served as an instrument during the week, and now it was being cleaned and tuned by the Earth. My mind finally relaxed, and I momentarily fell asleep. I awoke, prior to the end of the sound bath, I felt restored. The week’s heaviness had been lifted, and I could appreciate the sunset that appeared before me.

We packed up our belongings, my fellow therapist friend and I discussed how restorative this sound bath was. Our troubles melted away through the power of sound and the sacred land. There was a realization that as healers, we must frequently care for ourselves as we hold so much of the world’s pain with us in our therapy rooms. I am someone who yearns for restoration through meditation, retreats, and awe experiences. We vowed at a minimum on a monthly basis, to commit to nourishing our souls in places that can support, nourish, and carry us. The healers need to be healed.

Woman’s Best Friend

28 Jul 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #dogs, #kindness, #mindfulness

Little do we know the impact we make on each other. This was the case yesterday, when I returned home from an event. Generally when I return home, my 15 ½ year old Bella is asleep in her dog bed. It’s a cozy nook that has a good view of the front door and most of the house. But when I came home yesterday, she wasn’t there, I looked next into my bedroom, where I had placed a new dog bed for her. She wasn’t there either. Automatically I worried, don’t pets hide when it is their time to die? Bella was 15 ½ years old, and I worried if her time neared. I was relieved as I entered the guest room and found her in an unusual spot.

Amidst my carry on luggage I had just emptied out, with clothes and yarn sprawled on the floor, she was there, laying on top of it. Wanting to be close to my scent, even though I only left two hours prior. It was such a precious moment, and a reminder how often we take those moments for granted.

Earlier I admit I was disappointed, it was my first sound bath I held that nobody attended. I tried to make the most of it, but couldn’t help but having a chatter of negative thoughts emerge, that I repivoted. When we host events and nobody comes, oftentimes we begin to question numerous things: our advertisement, location, time of day, time of year, our skills, and ourselves. But when I entered my home, all of that was paused as I saw Bella cozy in my atmosphere. In a world that can be harsh, there is a soft landing that reminds us that beings do care.

There is power and beauty in the adage that a dog is a man’s best friend. Through financial ups and downs, moves, job shifts, relationship shifts, weight gains and losses, and fads, it is pets that are our consistency. We take that for granted, but how sweet it is after a difficult day to see that a being is waiting for you and longing to be close to even your scent? It made me pause my heart and send appreciation for the kind gentle soul she is. And a reminder to be appreciative of all beings that are in our lives.

Awe and Wonder

05 Jun 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #awe, #books, #esalen, #grief, #life, #meditation, #mindfulness, #wonder, dacher-keltner

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”- Albert Einstein

This past weekend I went to an Awe & Wonder Retreat, 3 days 2 nights retreat to Esalen, led by Dacher Keltner. I didn’t know what I was getting into when I signed up, I simply wanted to go to Esalen. Every retreat listed seemed to be filled with inspiration, as Esalen’s focus has been on the intersection on philosophy, spirituality, and psychology. My friend Gretchen told me the other day that one of her life goals is to go to Esalen, and that there are two things that stir her with passion and excitement in this world: love and the programs at Esalen. I could not agree more. Yet, I chose the right program to attend, it was exactly what my soul needed at this moment in time.

Dacher shared the 8 aspects of wonder which include: Mystical Experience/Spirituality, Moral Beauty (Kindness and Courage we witness in others), Visual Design, Music, Collective Effervescence (what we experience in concerts or sporting events), Life and Death, Nature, Big Ideas. Through focusing on awe and wonder several times a week, we can decrease loneliness, depression, and increase a sense of gratitude. Although Dacher is a social psychologist, that has studied happiness, has consulted with Pixar for the films Inside Out and Soul, and helped create the emojis for Facebook, he recently pivoted his work toward the concepts of Awe and Wonder. He chose to do this after his brother Rolf died of colon cancer. There was so much grief there as he reflected the totality of the experiences around the world together over decades, but also with this was a sense of awe for the life cycle. He knew he could emerge from this grief from studying and focusing on awe.

Throughout the workshop we learned about the research of Awe and Wonder, completed experiential exercises collectively or in small groups, and processed what was arising internally through reflective writing exercises and contemplation. The group that consisted of 33 people of all different ages cried together, smiled, laughed, and shared about experiences of bliss, wonder, and grief. The concept of awe and wonder seemed so simple, this is something we used to relish in as children, and at times when we are mindful. Yet it is so poignant. Over the past fifteen years, I have a daily practice of gratitude, but I admit at times it can get stale. Adding one reflection of what brought me wonder could enrich this each night. I realize that my Instagram posts (amodernpilgrimage) is to pivot and remind others of the sacred places in the world, sacred moments, and the sacredness in oneself also point to the sense of awe and wonder.

On the 6 ½ hour drive up to Esalen, we listened to the entire soundtrack of Hamilton. My friend had never heard of it, and has not been exposed to many musicals in her life. As I drove up the 101 North, I cried at parts of the songs that always seem to touch me. That musicals seems to express the vastness of emotions we have and the rawness of the human experience. This is why I love this creation so much, and I realized it was a wonderful introduction to the Awe and Wonder weekend. Oftentimes, when I am so moved by something, whether this is a piece of art, writing, song, interaction with a stranger, or a beautiful landscape I want to share this. I yearn for this peak emotion of Awe, which is easily accessible to us.

For the research of the book, the following question was asked to thousands of people from nearly 30 countries :

What is an experience of awe that you have had, when you encountered a vast mystery that transcends your understanding of the world?

From this, the 8 wonders of life were created. And so I encourage you today to reflect on this question, share this question with a friend, acquaintance or even a stranger. Let it land on you and allow yourself to linger on the beauty of reflection and conversation.

Paying Attention

30 May 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #kindness, #mindfulness, attention, inner-critic, writing

I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. -William Butler Yeats

This morning, while taking out my dog for her morning walk, I stepped on a snail. This was not on purpose. I am usually so careful of where I am stepping. It’s at this early hour where I watch the snails go from the grassy area over the sidewalk to the bushes. This is the only time of day I observe them in my neighborhood inching around. But today I wasn’t paying attention to where my feet were walking and I heard a crunch. Automatically I felt quite bad, how was I not more mindful at this moment? Where was my head?

Instead of ruminating on what I didn’t do, I could focus on what I can do for the future: PAY ATTENTION.

I also began to think of the metaphor of treading softly. How often do we hurt others with unkind words or a lack of support in people following their dreams or goals? Our one disapproving comment could stick with them. A person told me yesterday, how the comment “there are no stupid questions” he once believed this, but once when he asked a question in a setting and the person answering belittled him and reminded him this was a stupid question. “It only was once, but it stuck with me.” This sheltered this person’s sense of curiosity or ability to trust others, for fear they will be judged.

How often do we do this to ourselves as well? Make negative statements to ourselves, show a disregard and negativity to our own aspirational pursuits. We are harming our own dreams.

Therefore, pay attention to the words you express towards yourself or others, “tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”

Gratitude in the Mundane

16 Aug 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #expat, #mindfulness, #strangers, #travel, #wanderlust

This past week I was in Bologna Italy. It’s a city I have been in before years ago, and was primarily coming here so I could explore the country: San Marino. I didn’t have much plans to do in Bologna, but to wander around town and rest, as I processed the earlier parts of my journey. Perhaps I would get some Bolognese, where it was invented.

On the afternoon I arrived, I stumbled onto this park. It wasn’t very big, and was quite mundane. It was a hot early August day, and people sought relief from the sun by the shades of the trees. Some homeless men lied on benches, there was some a sprinkling of young men gathering and smoking marijuana, teenagers chatted and played cards, a barefoot toddler cried as his mother took him away from the fountain as he didn’t want to leave his playground. But as I walked further, I found a tranquil café. Chilled out Radiohead style music set the atmosphere. I sat down and observed what was occurring around me. A young skateboarder was being chaperoned and cheered by his mother, who had a newborn baby in her arms. Young lovers kissed, as if nobody else could knew they were there. Older men sat at a table drinking beer as they caught up, large dogs napped on the ground next to their owners. A tired bicycle food delivery man napped on a bench. Children played on a mini playground, which was next to a book exchange. A young boy sighed as he missed the basketball hoops, while taking shots. Two people one wouldn’t picture as friends played checkers, while another woman waited at a nearby table to play the winner. The waitress greeted regulars. A variety of races and ethnicities were represented in the people I observed.

There was nothing special about this park, but this is what brought tears to my eyes. I found universality in this park. These exact activities are happening in parks all over the world. Parks serve as a place of tranquility as we seek refuge from the sun. I felt so grateful I could witness it. This was not a tourist park, there was nothing fancy to see, but what I witnessed warmed my heart. I felt so grateful that in this year, I’ve been able to go to similar parks in New York City, Paris, New Orleans, Malaga, Bulgaria, North Macedonia, Philadelphia, and Los Angeles to see the same thing. I know if I lived in this city, I would probably be walking my dog Bella everyday here and taking comfort in the shade.

Sometimes it’s in these simple moments of witnessing the similarities in humanity that makes me so grateful for life. Despite language barriers, customs, ethnicities, age, or eras our everyday lives may be more similar than we expect. There is beauty in this, and we forget. We are tricked by the disguises we wear, the superficiality we see in our skin tones or clothes that grace our bodies. Essentially we are the same, and if we could only see that, there would be such peace. We all yearn for connection, comfort, joy, and love. And the more we can see past the superficiality, we could access this common thread that unites us all.

In a recent Brazilian dance workshop I attended, we had to “cut” in and break up two people dancing. There was no hard feelings, as this was part of the process to have your place in the center with a person you wanted to dance with. How we asked the other person to leave, is we opened our arms and had our belly buttons touch. This welcomed in one, as the other left the group and went back to the outer circle. It was very intimate, warm, and jolly. The universal thread of the umbilical cord that binds us all. This is the image that arises as I reflect on those quiet moments in the park on that sunny summer day in Bologna. There’s unification in the mundane, and if we can recall this, a joyful smile may grace our faces.

It Only Takes A Smile