It Only Takes A Smile

How beautiful for people to share gratitude in song! Can life be a musical ? 

I have always connected to this song whether it was from the original wizard of oz or hawaii’s brother iz. The song can be sung with a sense of loneliness, reflection, hope, bliss, and unity (as in this video).

We tend to confine our singing abilities to sacred places… the shower, church, concerts, sports games, karaoke and/or piano bars. But what about everywhere else in between?

On public transportation , regardless how crowded the train is, we build up invisible walls for people to not enter. We zone into a book we are reading , blast our headphones for a song or podcast , or simply daydream to a place anywhere than here. But there are moments for connection available . Sometimes the most beautiful ones I have seen on social media of strangers connecting are on subway /metro rides.

What is over the rainbow for you? How can you make a stranger smile today ? 

“Guard well your thoughts when alone and your words when accompanied.” ― Roy T. Bennett

Today marks the start of a potential transformation. Six days and five nights of pure silence at a retreat. When I share this with people, many think I’m mad (not American angry, but British crazy). Why would I pay a center for silence? No speaking, technology, no cell phone alarm clocks, no reading tangible books, writing. In addition, I am sure the meals we will be fed are vegetarian, there’s no sex, smoking, or alcohol. Of all these different factors, I believe a majority of them will not be an issue. In my heart, the only one that will is no writing.

I can withstand silence, no wifi, and even the lack of reading. But I long to write. I can be alone with my thoughts, but I recognize there is an importance of outputting them on paper. I like to see what I’m thinking externally. There are the lists I create of personal, travel, and life goals. There are the lists of reflections, such as countries I’ve been to, books I’ve read for the year, dreams, or boys I’ve kissed (although I am married, I never want to forget).
But perhaps the point is to get away from this potential to plan or list out my life. The goal is to just be present. I believe I do this already. I always talk about mindfulness, but do I really do it? 
Each month this year, I do something I fear. This is one for this month…silence.

Someone said yesterday perhaps I will analyze myself, since I am a psychologist. I responded with, “this is all I will do.” This is all I already do, and it will be heightened exponentially.

What am I fearful of?

I am afraid of perhaps not liking who I am? Questioning my inherent good versus evil thoughts that arise. I am fearful that I may sink into a sense of self hate about my physical attire, body weight, lack of exercise, lack of motivation. I will question everything. And just sit with the answers, not being able to process with anyone including myself.
On the other side, I could become overwhelmed with a sense of joy for life and gratitude. I may truly appreciate numerous things that were not part of my life for days: music, loved ones, connection, writing, speaking. I am already cautious of what the first words will be that will leave my mouth. There may be this realization how valuable each word we speak is. I may speak less, or perhaps choose my words with deeper caution, knowing the impact they may have. 

As this blog is about spreading kindness, perhaps today we can reflect on how our words (written and verbal) impact and land on each other and ourselves.

“Because even the smallest of words can be the ones to hurt you, or save you.” 

― Natsuki Takaya

I would have thought that after travelling to 41 countries and living overseas for 4 years would kill off my wanderlust spirit, but it has done the opposite. It’s only gotten stronger. I have become more determined to see as much of the world as I can.

This is an issue in that my husband only wants to visit three European countries repeatedly: Italy , France , and Spain. It’s for the sake of food, he is a highly desirable fine dining chef and these are three of my favourite countries.  But there’s so much more out there. And this is why I travel solo.

These past 5 days I took a brief holiday to Riga, Tallinn, and Helsinki . I never once dreamed going to these three spots in the world. This makes the trip even more valuable. I am superceeding the travel goals I have set for myself long ago.  Each country I visit, I try to not just look how things are different (architecture, people, clothing, language, customs), but I also try to envision what I can compare it to. What are the influences from the world I know so far? For example in Tallinn, yes there is the German influence of the town square but the newer renovations give off a Copenhagen /Los Angeles vibe.

I admit the older I get and the more I travel , the less research I do. I learn at the bare minimum “thank you.” I may watch some travel shows at home (thanks Rick Steves and Anthony Bourdain). And it isn’t until I am at the airport or the hotels does the true research start.

Perhaps I should be scared when visiting a new place , but somehow I feel confident and comfortable. Maybe this is a false sense of security, but oddly I feel the world is my home.​

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I did the 23&me DNA test recently, and what I discovered is that I am almost every ethnicity . The entire map of the world was highlighted except Russia and Greenland. 

So perhaps when I visit all these countries, I just am visiting my people. I did learn I am 5% Balkan. Who knew? There’s comfort everywhere I go that these are my people. What a novel concept! 

With wanting to see as much of the world I can, I may not just be desiring to learn about what else is out there , but what lays inside .

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you really are.”-Carl Jung

There is something so beautiful and magical in being in the atmosphere of our favourite musicians . In the clip below, you can almost feel the patient getting healing energy from Florence.  I couldn’t help but smile, cry, and want to sing after watching this. Music is magical .

We idealise artists sometimes externally for the wrong reasons.  Those that are the most well known tend to be the most beautiful, extroverted on the social scene , and played most frequently on the Top 40 radio stations. We give musicians god -like power, which they are not really worthy of. 

But they can be angels.

Musicians have the potential to allow the spirit to flow through their music, into your ears, and land on your soul. 

We sometimes miss the impact of art , because we are distracted on the external charade. Go deeper, close your eyes and  allow your entire self to feel the music. 

Let the music drip onto each pore.  Inhale it in.  

“Angels descending, bringing from above,

Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.”-Fanny J Cosby

He has more yogis in his class than I do! It’s so beautiful to watch how we can impact others at any age. 
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Sometimes I am so inspired I don’t have words immediately about an experience. I need time for it to settle into my bones. This is the case for Tony Robbins’ Unleash The Power Within. With a crowd of 10,500 people from 60 plus countries, we walked on fire! 

This was going to be a huge obstacle to overcome, because I have a fear of putting myself in dangerous situations where there is even a slim potential to get hurt. My mother warned me she saw on the news, people going to the hospital after these Robbins events due to burns. 

During the conference, I listened with a cautious ear and  what I learned that it is those who do not follow instructions and focus on getting selfies are the ones that get burned. You must completely submerge yourself in the moment to surpass it. 
This was a four day event , but we walked on flames the first night. The 12 hours leading up to the fiery moment was preparation to get in the proper mental and physical state. Throughout storytelling, meditations, dancing , and chanting we were able to embed courage within. There was repetition, solidarity, and comfort knowing thousands if not millions of people have done this.


And so with 10,499 other people, we chanted “yes” as we marched barefoot to the site of the fires. 

What surprised me during the walk is how we collectively as a group were all able to conquer an innate fear together! I knew if I could do this, I was unstoppable. 


Ever since that weekend that occurred one month ago, I feel this inner fiery strength brewing within. For for the past four years, I have already started each morning with gratitude . But now I start the days with a fueled up magnetic gratitude. It’s as if I am living in the center of an orgasm that lasts the entirety of weeks versus seconds. Life has the potential to be orgasmic, but are we receptive to feel and reside in it? Can we make it longer as we do a beautiful lover? 

I visited a childhood friend recently and she informed me I have this sexual energy about me that people are attracted to. On the exterior it may appear as I am exuding this sensuality , but on dissecting it, another layer is unraveled .  The heightened energy is actually this feeling of loving life and wanting to abide in the fullness of it.  She informed me that people are lacking this in their own lives , see it in me, and want that love for life. What a powerful statement to make, but there is truth to it. 

Tony Robbins exudes this sexuality as well.  His charisma, charm, and power is magnetic. You don’t mind paying thousands of dollars for his programs or doing crazy stuff such as walking on fire . You believe in him, and it makes you believe in yourself.  I know as I write this it sounds very cult like, and for some people it may be. They follow Tony and select others through the ends of the world. As we watched Tony people ran towards the stage simply wanting to touch his hand, as if he was a rock star. My husband said “they just want to touch something Great.”

But the true magic doesn’t occur when we see people like Tony, it’s when we realise we have the power within. Just as kindness is contagious, so is strength and the ability to be intoxicated with life. ​

Take time to search and find the inner power within .  Take time to feed the fire daily, and you will find this inner fire is contagious . You will draw others to you for the beauty that you see and love in your life.

Today on an international flight from the US to the UK, I did something a bit out of character. I was rude to this stranger, not outright rude but not outright nice. She therefore mistook this as rudenesss. I made it to my flight with 30 minutes to spare, as my connecting flight was delayed. I arrived at my seat,Sweating from running throughout the airport only to find someone at my seat.  The seat stealer wanted a whole row to herself. As soon as I entered, she looked for another seat. 

I escaped to the bathroom and found a family of four surrounded my space. They asked me to move so I wouldn’t have to be by a big family who kept passing things over me. The husband to the right of me, next aisle kept saying to his wife “are you going to ask?” After several minutes of this, I moved to the row behind me without saying a word or looking at any of them in the face. She asked if I was moving, I said “yes,” and then proceeded to say to my husband and children how unkind I was. She knew I could hear her. I truly wanted to verbally lash some offensive phrases to her. But I held my tongue, and put on my headphones . I drowned them out, I didn’t want to make it a more miserable long flight than necessary.

I began to think, how unlike me this is. For someone who tries to relay the message of kindness being contagious, what was I expressing now? I never apologised but I was able to try to continue to convey kindness to others thought it the rest of the flight. 
Despite our constant work in trying to “be good,” we aren’t perfect. We have off days. Who knows what contributed to this ? The delayed connecting flight , running throughout an unfamiliar airport, someone already being in my seat, fear of missing my flight. Perhaps it was a combo of everything .

When we have these days, it’s a time to reflect what’s going on internally . Hopefully we can pause before responding , and carry on. That moment doesn’t have to define us.

I’m sitting in a café in Canton Ohio, awaiting for a road trip later today headed to Nashville. I’m just getting over my jetlag from the United Kingdom. Somehow I will squeeze in New York City and Philly before I head back to London next week. I am not a musician, but I am embarking on my annual North American leg tour of visiting family and friends. I am proud to say that home is not one city, state, or country. The world is my home, and I feel it.
            Last year I visited Paris three times, and am yearning to return to this little patisserie St. Michael Boulangerie close to The Shakespeare Bookstore. I want to simply roam and linger in these familiar haunts with the same drive as visiting my best friend in our hometown as we cruise the streets of the Midwest. Both bring a sense of wonder, beauty, and joy. Both are blissful, exciting, and memorable. Both internally are stored and replayed in my head as moments I’m deeply grateful for.

            This should be of no surprise that I view myself as a citizen of the world, and perhaps you could explore that title too.

            Upon completing a recent 23 & Me DNA test, I found that my genetic makeup for the past 500 years places my roots to almost every corner of the world. It’s amazing and makes perfect sense that my sense of adventure is ingrained in my blood. My ancestors pushed out of their boundaries to see new lands, interacted with people who were “other”, and even mated with them. One after another, after another. Although, I know of the history of an incrementally small percentage of my people. There’s universality in their stories….in all of our stories. 

            Explore. Learn. Love. 
“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien

“Work like a captain, play like a pirate.”

Everywhere I turn, I am reminded of the prospect of summer that’s looming over our heads. I’m visiting my family in Ohio, the weather is warm but has a side of sprinkle to cool us down. Grass is plentiful and full, some freshly mowed, and I simply want to sit in it and feel summer. I laid in the grass yesterday the weather was 24 degrees Celsius (mid 70s Farenheit). I closed my eyes and tried to breathe in the bliss.

Living in England, I don’t have that same sense of summer at all. Few would be the days that existed like yesterday, and if so much of the time I am in the office. Summers are different in the Midwest. In Los Angeles and Hawaii, I somehow took it for granted, because beautiful sunny weather was always readily available. But in Ohio, I counted down to my summer days. Officially it’s less than one month away, but for me it’s already here.

Stores display bright vibrant colors of items for sale displaying pineapples, flamingos, ships, with phrases such as “adventure starts here.” Kids gasp in wonder at bubbles being blown with a wand. Dogs linger with smiles under the sun. Windows down while driving, blasting rhythmic tunes. I want to inhale it all in and bottle the feeling of summer.

I admit that sometimes, I can be internally judgmental. I have lived in so many amazing places throughout the world and have an inner wanderluster that is always spinning. At times, I question how can people stay in one spot, settling for their homeland versus bursting at the seams to see what is out there. But yesterday, as I lay in the grass watching my cousin’s children play in their backyard playground, I thought this could be enough. Moments with family, friends, and laughter in the summer sun can be sustaining and addictive. We live for the summer.

I purchased a tiny tea towel to flavor our British kitchen for the next several months. I am going to try to capture this colorful flavor.

Summer is not just a season or location. It’s a state of mind. 

 
How can you get there?

Without planning,  I took a bold move in engaging in an activity I have avoided for 22 years…jumping on a trampoline. The amount of times I have jumped on a trampoline are less than one can count on your right hand. And it’s all because of a war wound I encountered at the age of 16, when I double bounced in a backyard. More than four of us were on a massive trampoline on a summer’s day, living like king kids, and then the land occurred. I completely broke my left ankle the day before my driver’s test. Not only did I fail the maneuverability portion of the test, but I had to wear a cast for the rest of the summer.
I quickly learned to associate pain with trampolines. I vowed never to do it again. The opportunity never arose. And I never had to face the fear, until yesterday.

At my dream job that I’ve held for the past four years, we take groups of workers on fun events to bond and de-stress. These have included such things as a ropes courses, race car driving, golfing, swimming, and white water rafting. I haven’t attended all, but somehow yesterday the stars aligned for me to be there.

I warned the leader of the group of my PTSD about trampolining. Nobody pushed me to jump or even asked me to, but as everyone was sitting for their safety video. I said to myself “why not?”. I wasn’t dressed for the occasion, I had a blazer on with jeans, but I didn’t care.
 

One of my goals this year is to do something every month I’m afraid of. It was May 19th and I had no activity planned. Why the heck not? And so I did.

I bounced on my own solo trampoline at a trampoline park. And after sometime, I added some leg kicks, attempted to bounce to the trampoline next to me, and at one time even tried to bounce on my butt.

I saw all these adults around me who had no fear and had amazing skills with balance, flipping, handstands. It was insane, but such a release of joy.. The simple act of bouncing with 80 people, all on their own trampolines was bliss. People released who they were and momentarily acted as kids again.

There was this one top of higher area that many people jumped up to and were perching on. I told a friend that it reminded me of the 8th grade steps I had in grade school. Only 8th graders could sit there, and it wasn’t until 8th grade that you earned the right to get to the steps. That’s where we would spend recess. At one point she and another co-worker made it to there. She said to me, “come on Tricia, 8th grade steps.”. 

It was such a blessing to have a friend reflect back to me a memory and a goal to attain, with such ease. And yes I did bounce to the 8th grade steps.

What have you been avoiding? What have you been keeping from your life due to fear or a bad experience? Is it still a valid fear? What’s stopping you? They are only 8th grade steps.