It Only Takes A Smile

What constitutes being an American?  It’s been ten months since I have stepped foot in America, and almost five years since I have lived here.  As I filled out the customs form, I was confused. Do I write resident or visitor? After numerous crossed out lines, I decided on visitor.  And this is how I feel.

I entered the line at Newark airport for passport security, a staff member of Latino descent asked me “passport or green card?”  “Passport” I said, finding it odd that I am supposedly in my “homeland”, but feel excluded.  It’s as if I don’t belong, after receiving my passport printout, I turn it into another staff member of Asian descent.  He says I must return to a separate line due to the fact my scanned form had a big X over it.

“Why did I pop up as an X?”  I inquired to the another worker of Latino descent in the new line I joined.  “Was it because I live overseas, or because I visited numerous countries since my last time here?  Is it because my passport is due to expire in 6.5 months?”  He responded with “No, it’s because you ate chicken mcnuggets at McDonalds and forgot to pay for them.  You got too much ketchup.” I added, “and sweet and sour sauce.”  Relief.  I’ve heard horror stories of intensive questioning at passport security, and to minimize it all with comedy was a major relief.  But I began to wonder, why did I pop up as a warning or seem as if someone who has a green card?

Initially I thought, maybe it’s the style of clothes I am wearing.  I look so European, that I must be a green card carrier.  Maybe it’s flattery for my image having an X over it, because I seem as if I could be this beautiful spy in a Jason Bourne film.  But in reality, it’s most probably because I have brown skin.  (Although living in England for five years, this is the whitest I have ever been). It’s interesting because all of the staff members I encountered were of other ethnic minority origins as well.  I try to not let it get to me, and find relief that the passport worker made the experience a light hearted comedy for a moment.

Welcome back to America, but is this home anymore? I wanted someone, a staff member or anyone at the airport to greet me with “welcome back,” I heard it uttered to another stranger.  Why not me?  But I may be a foreigner.

I take the train from Newark to Trenton to be picked up by mother and step-father.  As the train is nearing completion, a fellow passenger of Latino descent mutters something to me which I couldn’t understand.  He repeats it, I still cannot make out what he said.  He then said, “habla espanol?” “Mas o menos” I reply.  He was inquiring of the book I was reading, approved of it, and went on his way.

Perhaps I should not be offended that nobody thinks I am “American.”  This is how I had perceived the situation, I expected when I set foot on land that people would know I am from the Midwest, this is where “I’m from.”  But all of these people I interacted with who made these assumptions were ethnic minorities themselves.  Maybe they were relating to me as if I was a family member. My mom and all of my maternal lineage is from another country, green cards I guess aren’t so far off.  Their quick judgements made could have came from a place of solidarity.  They could possibly also receive these comments when they return from foreign lands.

I began writing this particular blog post with the undertone of not belonging anywhere, in the UK or in America, and other various complexities.  But beneath all of this, there’s this realization that these assumptions did not come from a place of hate or exclusion.  It could come from a place of empathy, relatability, and connection.  In their minds, I could have been a family member.  Nobody was rude, they may have been trying to connect.

Given the complexities and tension in America at the current moment, there are so many ways I can choose to view these situations.  It could be a situation of hate, exclusion, judgement, discrimination, or numerous other factors.  But I choose to view it from the lens of love and compassion.

Why would I want to view it as anything else?

When we collectively lose a great mind or talent , I feel the world should be required to pause for a moment of silence to breathe it in. So is the case for Stephen Hawking. This brilliant mind impacted the world not only by his scientific contributions, but the resilience he demonstrated throughout his life. Despite being diagnosed with an illness that ate away at his physical mobility and tactile independence , his intellect, deductive imagination, and exploration transcended to the ether. He seemed to be one of our world’s most recognisable and famous scientists. He was a rock star!

Although I lived in Cambridge for several years, I never had the privilege of meeting him. I had heard a deeply kind gesture about him years ago from an acquaintance of how he displayed his gratitude for those that assisted him. Mr. Hawking had a maid for several years he adored and assisted her with a down payment on her house. I heard of people having spottings of Professor Hawking at the Cambridge movie theatre , but I never was lucky enough to spot my neighbor . He remained connected with the university till the end of his life , continuing to offer support and guidance in anyway he could.

As I read through the paper about Stephen Hawking‘s life, accomplishments, and recent film that was made about his life (Theory of Everything), I realised that people are not grieving his loss but celebrating his life. The world always seemed to be holding their breath about the fragility of his physical state, but he lived to be 76. He outlived numerous individuals who were theoretically “healthy”. But perhaps because his health loomed over him, it deepened his appreciation for each day. An article in the evening standard said that “the subtext of everything he did and said was carpe diem.”

The Buddhists practice a daily reminder that your life is impermenant, five times per day actually. There is an app I recently downloaded called We Croak. If you downloaded , you are given a reminder “you are going to die” , 5x each day . It is then followed by an inspirational quote. If we practice reflecting on our mortality more frequently , it can deepen our experience of life.

We salute you Professor Stephen Hawking for providing a constant reminder of what we are capable of, to never give up, and “while there is life there is hope

Several weeks ago I opted to take a training course in booty barre yoga. This is a mixture of yoga, pilates, and ballet. Initially I was excited. When I was 4 years old, I remember wishing in a star to become a ballerina. I never took one proper ballet class. Perhaps I was taking this course now to satisfy that 4 year old . Another part of me felt obligated, as we had purchased barres for our workspace where I teach yoga and I needed it start using them out of guilt. I also had taken barre classes at my gym and was amazed by the workout and wanted to share that with my community. Therefore the achiever in me felt I needed to become an instructor.

And then reality struck.

I went to the course and was overwhelmed with sadness. Everyone in the course was either at some point a professional dancer or a dance instructor, with a ballerina body. This triggered my lack of self confidence in my body image, as my ethnic body did not fit this mold. The two classes we were required to teach on film for certification were planned out to the minute with no room for creativity or flexibility. The songs to be played in the background of your classes were even mandated to be at 126 bpm. I felt this was stifling my creativity as an instructor. I appreciated fluidity over forced structure and internally began building up a wall.

I called my husband from my hotel with a depleted sense of self. What had I done? There was nothing wrong with this training. The reason I was upset is I knew that I was not honouring my authentic self.

I had been spending so much of my everyday life devoted to making choices in what I wore, what I listened to, who I hung out with to be my authentic me. And here I was taking a course in something I didn’t love, out of guilt, and a perceived expectation I placed on my self from others, and my 4 year old self. In taking an all weekend course two hours from home, I was giving up my sacred spare time for something I didn’t care about anymore.

It reminded me of the life principle Derek Sivers once spoke about. Derek is the founder of CD baby and author to numerous books. He had mentioned that at one point in his life he was becoming overwhelmed with numerous obligations that included travel and incessant meetings. Although he was wealthy, he was living a life that wasn’t his. He had a breaking point and decided that his choices were going to be simplified to either F*ck yes or no. On so many occasions we live our lives out of perceived obligations. We all are only granted with a limited amount of time per week, regardless of the amount of money we make or age we are at. When we fill it with things that don’t matter, it leaves no space in our lives for anything. An opportunity may arise for something that we truly love, and we may not have the bandwidth to fit it in.

And so this is what I am vowing, to live life with authenticity. Make choices in my life either as F*ck Yes or No!

I encourage you to reflect on how you are currently living your life . Is it aligned with your values? Perhaps we have grown and shifted but our goals and values had remained the same as they were 10 years ago. It may be a good time to check them if they are current, or else you may be living your life to honour the you from 10 years ago versus the you that exists today.

Who are you living your life for?

Be courageous by being authentic !

Yesterday we hosted our first hygge day at work. In some ways it was perfect: there was snow, we all wanted to be cozy, it was international hygge day, and I had the entire day set with volunteers for morning and evening. I even made a stuffed animal our mascot: Hygge the Hedgehog. I sent numerous advertisements out, visited people’s workspaces to promote the event, purchased loads of sweets , and even found a hedgehog cake.

But then the snow increased to the point that we were sent home from work. Although we had a dozen visitors, Hygge day came to a halt. Today after prepping to go into work , we were informed that we had a snow day. I was in shock.  I didn’t know what to do with my unexpected free time at home. I texted this to my colleague , he replied simply “stay home and hygge.”

For those who aren’t familiar with this word , hygge is a Danish term that can be summarised by coziness or as Meik Wiking says “cocoa by candlelight”.

Meik Wiking brought this concept to the everyday vernacular the past year with his book “The Little Book of Hygge.” It’s become a sensation throughout the world, and I wanted to share the concept with my workspace.

Although their weather in Denmark can be autrocious as it is here in England, they continue to rate as one of the happiest countries in the world each year.

What makes something hygge? Here are some hygge tips:

Candles, subdued lighting , natural elements indoors (wood), delicious desserts, sentimental items such as scrapbooks and old letters, fireplaces, board games, knitting, warm drinks, connecting with close friends, reading, cuddling, pets, and being in the moment.

I have been embracing this concept ever since I read the book two months ago.  But the concept of hygge is juxtaposed with my internal achiever that feels guilt for not doing more than one thing at a time. It is serendipitous that yesterday was international hygge day and today is hygge day in Denmark.  UK is in an uproar, it is being called “snowmeggedon.”  In the past five years I have been in the UK this has never occurred. We have no choice but to hygge.

I wonder if I can do this without the need to feel remorse.  Generally there is an internal struggle for guilt.  It is as if I don’t deserve sick days, or days to simply relax.  Now I was being given one get out of jail free pass to use.  Yesterday I was encouraging others to be cozy at work, could I do this at home?  Can I practice what I preach?

And so the hygge began. I played with my dog outside. I was reminded yesterday how much my dog loves snow. He would play his version of soccer, but get distracted by wanting to eat the ice or witnessing the snow fall magically on his face. We don’t see much of snow here in the south of England that sticks to the ground.  Snowfalls never occurred during our California and Hawaiian day. Somehow Puzo ,our bulldog , remembers his romps in Connecticut and New York . And he couldn’t get enough of relishing in the snow.  Puzo was practicing mindfulness of snow play.  He was my real life hygge mascot.

Dogs and outdoor activities , combined with warmth to recuperate indoors is also hygge.

I am reminded I need to let go and embrace the moment. Instead of feeling like this event I had hosted yesterday was a failure , I can reframe that the universe was offering me and my community the opportunity to hygge.

It’s interesting, I didn’t get the high numbers of attendance I wanted, and the evening portion is postponed to next week. Yet another colleague mentioned “Even if people don’t go to the event, we are all talking about hygge and that’s what you wanted right?”

It’s so easy to get stuck in our own heads with internal and external expectations. We get focused on one specific type of results , that we forget the impact we make on others throughout the journey. Perhaps spreading awareness of being present focused and hygge is more of a profound way to impact others, rather than attendance numbers.

For today, I will try to practice gentleness and kindness to myself. I will not feel lazy for watching my favourite movie or chilling with the dogs.  I will have no other motive than to relax.  It’s deserved and available to me right now.

I encourage you to do the same…

Go Hygge yourself !

Saturday evening my husband and I were lucky enough to snag tickets for Wild Beasts’ final concert. We’ve seen this British band several times over the years, and we’ve had the pleasure of meeting them at a record signing last year. Wild Beasts have become popular among the local festival scene over the past 15 years. They have crafted to also become one of my husband’s favorite modern bands…and sadly they are breaking up.

Attending the concert was a celebration of the work they’ve achieved over the years. The concert went on for two hours and even included an intermission, in addition to the encore. As each song played, my husband was in awe of how great they were. He mentioned , “they are Michelin-star caliber,” if there was a comparable rating star of bands as there is to fine cuisine. This the highest compliment my husband can offer , as a fancy chef. The four members of Wild Beasts group hugged during one of the encore performances, and held hands as they bowed, just as they do during theater curtain calls. I wish I captured that via photo, but I captured it internally.

Although I have only met them once, i felt honored to be in the audience for something so special to them. We were witnesses to the end of them as a band. After the show, a drunk dude asked us how our evening was. We talked about how great the show was, but he continued to add it was a bit sad. I didn’t see any tears shed in audience members, as it may have been for a final boy band show. But it still was bittersweet.

In prepping for the final show, I chose to wear three different items I had grown attached to one last time as well… a purse from Florence, a backpack from Turkey, and these beloved knee high boots. All items were about to be donated to a thrift store, but I had grown attached. I didn’t want to let them go. But I knew it was time. As Maria Kondo started, verbalize appreciation for how these things have served you and then let them go.

I find it’s easy for me to grow attached to things, friends, and even bands. They become familiar, and interwoven into the fabric of your life. It seems that just when the level of comfort has set in, its time to say goodbye.

We are frequently reminded that everything is impermanent . Our suffering lies in the attachment to these things and people. Can we loosen our grip and allow ourselves to let go? Can we allow ourselves to hear and appreciate the swan song of the band?

How tough it is to say goodbye to someone or something

with joy and celebration, when sadness exists simultaneously. The effect of being able to hold this in our hearts, recognize all emotions that arise, and simply be in the moment is quite a beautiful thing.

Thanks Wild Beasts for sharing your time and talent with your fans, we appreciate and will continue to live in your music.

“Travel is like adultery; one is always tempted to be unfaithful to one’s own country. To have imagination is inevitably to be dissatisfied with where you live…in our wanderlust, we are lovers looking for consummation.” – Anatole Broyard

“Where’s you ur next trip?” , a colleague asked the other day.

“I have none planned.” I am not sure when was the last time I responded in this manner. There are numerous reasons there are no current trips this year:necessity to update visas, passports, save money, my husband’s lack of leave, uncertainty of my work future, and an excess of traveling last year all combined to a reason why there are no trips.

I have been trying to become comfortable with spending more time at home this year. I am trying to engage in more hygge, partake in local activities, and simply staycation.

But as I am sitting on my couch on this rainy British day, the wanderlust itch began again. An idea popped up….new countries: Bulgaria and Norway. Why not both? Automatically, the desire ignited with lightning speed. I began researching online listening to Rick Steves travel interviews, looking potential excursions on viator, and flights online. Why not?

Although I have lived overseas for 4 1/2 years and travelled extensively, there are moments I may take this for granted. I have visited much of Europe over the years, and many times repeatedly. I believe I am at a dozen trips to Spain. But when the threat of my time ending here arises, so does my wanderlust.

As I reflect on the past 18 months of travels, it’s been a dream: carnivale in Venice, the northern lights in Iceland, Boulangeries in Paris, flamenco in Spain, Finnish spas, the Edinburgh tattoo, exploring Estonia and Latvia countries I never imagined if visiting, tasting desserts in Luxembourg, soaking in the Dead Sea, staying next to the wall in Palestine , finally soaking in the sun on the Amalfi coast, lingering in my a hamam in my heart’s hometown of Malaga, buying cozy furry clothes in Romania, getting fitted for sandals in Athens, and capturing the leaning tower of Pisa during sunset. The reality is there are so many more trips than was listed here.

I don’t even realize the multitude of trips I’ve taken until I have no trips on the current horizon. It’s the old adage, you don’t appreciate something until it’s gone. I peak back through my phone’s photos and am reminded. How grateful I am, and how lucky we are to live with access to the world.

When the wanderlust kicks in, it really serves as an addiction. It’s as if I need to fill this fix immediately. or at least book something even if I can’t travel until later. There’s this urgency for my heart and innate curiosity to be renewed, and most probably I will book these trips today.

Parallel to this wanderlust returning is this concept that exists in Buddhism, where you reflect on your own death five times per day. It is not to be fatalistic, but in reality to remind you that life and everything in it is impermanent. In focusing on this, we can truly appreciate what each day has to offer. I had been encouraged to download an app called “we croak “, where 5x per day you are reminded you will die, and then an inspirational quote appears.

When we are reminded of the impermanence of life, it causes us to take action. This could be the length of being at a certain job or city, or even the totality of our own lives.

How do we want to live?

What are we waiting for?

Once or twice a week I take the trek to London for my Jivamukti and flamenco classes. I have really come to embrace this tube stop. Each day, including weekends, a quote is shared. Perhaps people are too busy to glance at it, but I look forward to reading what unique thought is shared to the locals by Tube staff. Today I noticed another traveller smiled as she passed by this obscure quote.

As you exit the tube station veering left and turn down a side street,this inspirational phrase lines the sides of a building : Do what you love, Love what you do. I feel compelled to take a photo each time. It’s as if life is a piece of artwork as you watch people pass this sign. Are they doing what they love? Do they love what they do? Am I?

As I re-entered the tube today, a man was playing an ethnic celebratory song. I am not sure what country it was from, but it brought joy to others. A man yelled “Ole’” and offered him a pound as he did a quick snap of the fingers with the music. I had to return to film the musician, as I did a group of three girls strutted their stuff to his song.

Cities can be draining , especially after a long work day and minimal

personal space on public transportation. But there are moments where musicians try to unite people with their gifts, or tube workers try to encourage reflection. We may spend our time thinking these moments are simply moments in between our life occurrences. The space between what matters most. We stick to our own zone, blocking others out through looking at our smart phones, listening to podcasts , or reading the newspaper. Some peopIe even take naps. We avert our eyes. We don’t want to catch a stranger’s gaze. To avoid is the industry standard.

But the older I get , I recognize there is importance in simply noticing. Noticing these moments we take for granted, that we may be “alone” but traveling with strangers. Recent research has stated the number of friends people have is decreasing , as we increase friends on social media. There’s an increase in loneliness .

But there’s potential to connect if we simply are present to the moment and observe what’s happening around us. We can connect as humans, as Londoners , or people who are simply passengers on the same mode of transportation .

My challenge for you is to take notice:

Observe the love of strangers offering up their seats.

Observe fellow passengers looking over another’s shoulder to watch what’s playing on their smart phone.

Observe the incessant spirit and talent musicians have as they play for change

Observe someone struggling with their suitcases up the stairs, and offer help. Wouldn’t you want the same?

In these moments of transition, the space in between, there is power. We can transform drudgery to smiles, and inspiration. We can connect and get energised by the small daily miracles of life. It’s always available to you, all you have to do is look.

Every year I vacillate on my connection to Valentine’s Day. When I was younger it felt monumental , whether I was committed or not. As an adolescent so much is placed on this one day, to share your feelings toward that special someone. If I was dating someone it was expected that gifts would be exchanged and a special date would occur. If I was single, the pain in my heart would be exacerbated and I would spend my time watching romantic comedies, hoping next hear would be different .

But as I got older , I realised that love should not just be expressed on holidays , but everyday.

There is also so many types of love , as I had written about in a previous post. My friend had mentioned this past week, wouldn’t it be amazing if we could have a commitment ceremony with our friends : a friend-trimony to celebrate the beauty of one’s closest buddies?

Above our two small stranger love acts I witnessed after getting off my tube stop at Angel this evening. A special quote which changes daily by this particular tube stop and a small heart by the barista working solo tonight.

There are so many other things I witnessed as love today, if you actually look. Gal pals watching their friend try on a wedding dress. A woman’s puppy offering lavish kisses to a stranger , despite her warning to the dog he was naughty. Another train passenger 10 yrs old traveling alone laughing at the dog’s antics, being told off. A woman informing me I had dropped my Oyster card, which I had just loaded with 30£. And of course the fellow dancers in my beginner flamenco classes , offering our gratitude and attention to the instructor as we try new moves with apprehensive passion (we will get there)! If I actually opened my eyes I could witness love acts everywhere .

For some people Valentine’s Day holds such power, but tomorrow the chocolate hearts, teddy bears, and greet cards will be 50% off. Love is a daily choice to give , see, and feel.

Embrace the type of love that’s been offered to you today. Share love with others.

My valentine to you is a loving kindness meditation for you to try.

https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditation-loving-kindness/

Two days post watching Hamilton in the West End, and I admit I have a hangover.  It’s not the headache, stomach twisting, “what did I do?” hangover.  It’s more of an emotional hangover.  I am a little late to the Hamilton game, but scored tickets one year ago for a performance this past week.

I had been listening to the soundtrack for six months, in preparation for the viewing.  I need to listen to rap repeatedly, to take in the lyrics.  I wanted to know and be present for all that would be happening in front of me.  For those who don’t know, Hamilton is an innovative hip hop play of America’s founding fathers.  The majority of the cast are ethnic minorities, which I appreciate.  It’s always been hard to connect to our American history as a multiracial individual, and now to see people who look like me onstage is exciting and relatable.  Lin-Manuel Miranda is a genius.  He created this opera after reading Ron Chenrow’s 800 page biography on Alexander Hamilton

https://youtu.be/fNQBs9sP7-w

For me, writing about the play Hamilton seems to cheapen the experience of it.  It’s as if there are no words to describe it.  Brilliance. Movement. Reflection. Connection. Inspiration.

But why do I have a Hamilton Hangover?

I listened to the soundtrack en route to work yesterday, pre-workout and post-workout.  I arrived at work fired up!  I was feisty and ready to change the world!  My world.  I felt fury for injustice, but there were minimal outlets to express this.  I wanted to advocate for myself.   Emails, interactions with others, or small actions to be taken to stand up for myself. I am not sure that those who were the victims of my emotional hangover knew where my fury was coming from.

“If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?”

On my drive home, I reflected on my stirred up, unexplained emotions.  What was the impetus of them?  I actually woke up in a pleasant mood, happy to bring in the day.  There was no answer other than Hamilton.  It was the musical, the lyrics and stirrings stayed with me.  I shared this with my husband and my mother.  Both of them delicately said, “maybe you shouldn’t listen to Hamilton before work.”

But this is what great works of art does! It remains with you.  Whether it is an amazing meal, film, sculpture, poem, or musical.  They haunt your soul, impact your emotions, and sometimes shift your actions.

Certain artistic creations, particularly musicals encourage me to want my change courses in my life in some way.  The longing within is ignited, sometimes for love, creation, travel, connection, and this time a desire to advocate.

I notice this arising, now the question remains, what do I do with this?

Being in the audience of Hamilton reminded me of the meaning of INSPIRATION.  The word comes from breathing in divinity.  It has been said that a higher power or God moves through an individual when they are inspired.  In a previous post, I had shared a Ted Talk by Elizabeth Gilbert who talked about this aspect. When professional dancers in North Africa danced to sacred music for hours, the audience would shout Allah.  “And all of a sudden, he would no longer appear to be merely human. He would be lit from within, and lit from below and all lit up on fire with divinity.” This later transformed to “Ole,” by the Spaniards when bullfighters or flamenco dancers would perform something miraculous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA

Ole’ to Lin-Manuel Miranda and the entire cast of Hamilton.  Ole’ to artists of all types who create art that moves themselves and even the masses.  And Ole’ to you to notice moments of inspiration and allow divinity to flow through you in whatever capacity that may be today.

“I’ve been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine
So men say that I’m intense or I’m insane
You want a revolution? I want a revelation
So listen to my declaration:

[ANGELICA]
I’m ‘a compel him to include women in the sequel!”

https://youtu.be/75RUpLIDKmU

10,000 hrs to become an Expert

My meaning simply is, that whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do well; that whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself to completely; that in great aims and in small, I have always been thoroughly in earnest.

Charles Dickens

This video above I have become mesmerized by. I showed my husband, as I was in pure awe. Automatically thoughts go to how beautiful this dancer maintains control and tells a story utilizing the childhood toy of a hula hoop. I expected my husband to say something similar, how astounding she was. What instead he says to me, “Practice Practice and You can do it!”

This was not what I was expecting. Although I admire her, I automatically placed this performance out of my realm of potential. And perhaps that’s what separates me from him. He is working in one of the world’s best restaurants, taking a job that’s way below his pay grade. Why? To work with the best and strive to be a Michelin starred chef.

I am not a perfectionist, I haven’t strived to be the best. And I admit I have half-assed many things throughout my life. Yes, I have attained a lot at a young age, but I was not competitive to be the best? I assumed I wouldn’t be, and therefore do not put effort to try. Semi-successful seemed to suit me fine.

Serendipitously I began reading this book Peak by Anders Ericsson and Robert Pool. The book explores the top performers in their field, and how they have attained their peaks. Is it nature or nurture?

The book begins with a story of Mozart, who had perfect pitch. We know to this day, 1 in 10,000 people have perfect pitch. It has been assumed that individuals who have been exposed to music at a young age and are from countries with tonal languages are more likely to develop this skill. But a recent study in Japan, took 24 children from age 2-6 and gave them daily lessons in music for over a span of a year. With that practice and daily encouragement, all developed perfect pitch!

There is so much more to the book, which I have only partially stepped into. Many of us may develop a skill, but do not become excellent in it. The reason is we may practice, but not engage in intentional practice. We are satisfied with our results and our practice remains in the comfort zone. The only way we grow is if we continually strive past levels of comfort each time we practice .

Discomfort=growth. Perhaps this is why many of us don’t engage in it. It’s hard work, and the daily payoffs aren’t always seen.

We have the potential to develop these super human qualities…from chess playing, athletic strength, perfect pitch, and perhaps even hula hoop dancing.

They say it takes 10,000 hours to be an expert at anything. I’ve been reflecting on this thought.

The comedy Crazy Ex Girlfriend’s protagonist also wonders about this thought, as she ends a relationship. We may spend 10,000 hours obsessing about relationships and crushes, is that time really worth it? Couldn’t we spend our time in a more productive way? To better the world or ourselves?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl30RJPDUv8

I write this before I take my fourth flamenco class in my late 30s. I feel I am far from performance worthy, but why set barriers? Set goals, stick to them, practice past my level of comfort, and perfect it!

The older I get the more I respect those top performers. I am learning to still set additional peaks for myself, and not put barriers on dreams that may pop up, even in my Facebook feed 😉

Character is just another word for having a perfectly disciplined and educated will. A person can make his own character by blending these elements with an intense desire to achieve excellence. Everyone is different in what I will call magnitude, but the capacity to achieve character is still the same.” –Vince Lombardi

For more information on the music study, see below.

http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0305735612463948