Saturday Night

01 Feb 2025 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

Saturday Night Live has been a show I had always admired. A variety sketch comedy show with celebrity hosts, musical guests, political and social commentary, and humor that can connect a nation. Watching the show growing up was a way to connect with friends, love interests, family members, and colleagues.  It blows my mind the talent that continues to hail from this show throughout the years.

Recently a film was released entitled Saturday Night about the first ever Saturday Night Live taping, and how it nearly lost it’s slot to a Johnny Carson rerun. The film follows creator Lorne Michaels and the unknown comedians that were going to change weekend television. We witness the chaos that ensues in trying to coral a group of rule breaking one liner comedians, writers, and staff before the first taping. One truly gets a sense of how much work from dozens of people that are needed to make a new show succeed, when the network expected it to fail.

As I watched the film, it reminded me how many groups of people embody a similar dynamic in their own work settings.  Talent collaborating and joining together for a particular mission, despite the external naysayers who expect the worst from a group’s collective effort.  This is true not just of comedians or actors, but of a front and back of the house staff at a Michelin restaurant, a Special Operations flying squadron and their maintenance crew, a psychological staff at a community mental health center, a surgical team ready to perform a difficult procedure, a spiritual retreat center holding space for retreat attendees, a fire department working overtime containing spread from a recent fire, or a group of teachers ready to start a new year.  For a moment in time, these people join together for the purpose of serving others. All skills are needed, welcome, and are joined in unison.

Although I am sure the events that led to the first Saturday Night Live taping were erratic, insane, and chaotic, it can be appreciated afar.  At a distance, we witness the orchestra conductor Lorne Michels hearing the notes of each of the musicians individually and collectively.  There is a line in the film prior to the taping, where Gilda Radnor says to John Belushi “Do you have nostalgia for a moment when you are still in it? I mean like you are in the moment but you are also looking back on it, like right now I’m here right now, but I’m also thinking about this moment 20 years from when we’re walking by this ice rink. Maybe it’s Christmas, and our kids are dragging us by our pinkies, presents loaded on our shoulders, all we can think about is this moment right before we went on tv.”  In the midst of big unifying moments, do we catch snapshots like this? Do we have nostalgia for a time as it is happening, knowing it cannot be replicated in the same way?

There’s a beauty with this film, it serves as a reminder of how we all need each other to pull difficult tasks off. We all play a role, nobody’s is more important than another.   This film captures a day in the lives of people before they hit it big, their passion for the arts, avante garde thinking, rivalries, support, laughter, human struggle, and effort to bring this show onto air.

Over the years, I’ve been lucky enough to meet some actors from SNL while living in Los Angeles.  People I watched in my living room during my junior high years, I was able to share my atmosphere with, just for a moment. Although I lived on 49th street in New York City, the same street as NBC studios, I never did make it to a taping. Perhaps one day, I will walk on stage where the magic has happened for decades and creatives continue to push the boundaries in an effort to make the American audience temporarily reprieve from their everyday problems and laugh. But for now I can watch this film, and appreciate the guts, glory, courage, and faith it had to put the initial production on. And in the meantime, I can take Gilda Radnor’s words of advice and have nostalgia and savor the moments I am living in as they are occurring.

UP

25 Jan 2025 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , ,

On a flight from LA to Tokyo, I finally watched the Pixar film UP.  Generally, I am not one to love animated films, but my brother boasted about this and I had to see it.  Ten minutes into the film, I knew the entirety of it would pull at my heart (or balloon) strings.

It’s with older age, I can appreciate the rich nature that the sentimentality of these films have to offer. There’s such a bittersweetness in watching this elder character carry out his hero’s journey. The storyline begins with two lead characters, Carl and Ellie, who meet in childhood bonding over their love for adventure and explorer Charles Muntz, whose life work was to venture and conquer the unknown in South America. Within a several minute montage, one witnesses Carl and Ellie’s love affair, marriage, home renovation, career, miscarriage, celebrations, and daily rituals.  We witness the characters connect, dream, deal with setbacks, surprise one another, age into their retirement years, slow down, and eventually we reach her death.    Since childhood, Ellie utilized techniques of manifestation to live an adventurous life, through speaking dreams into her reality, creating a book that served as a vision board, and painting out her future reality in South America.  But life gave them setbacks, whether it be their finances, health, car problems, home repairs, or other mishaps.   Ellie and Carl never did make it to South America, particularly to Paradise Falls as they envisioned they would have their home one day. The lead character Carl Fredricksen vowed to carry out Ellie’s dreams which were displayed in her Book of Adventure. 

As the film progresses, Carl (who appears to be his 70s or 80s) is being pushed out of the home he had built with his wife, and forced into a retirement home.  Yet within him still stirs a wild desire to live life more fully, and he is willing to put up creative fight.    It’s the call to adventure.  A threshold is crossed, obstacles arise.  Sidekicks and villains appear as we navigate being in the belly of the whale.  Transformation ensues and atonement, and he eventually returns home. The whole hero’s journey was exemplified in UP.

In our own lives, although we may set out goals for how we want to lives to go, our plans  pivot for one reason or another. We may meet our heroes and are disappointed.  We attain our dreams, and then realize we must let them go to allow our current life to unfold. Sentient beings enter our life in unexpected ways who may need our support.  We are guided and taken care of, by mentors and surprising characters.  There is a realization that caring for others sometimes must take precedence over our own egoic goals.

At one point in the film, Carl is reviewing his wife’s Book of Adventure, which he assumed just included images of their travel dreams.  But as he allowed himself to look further, he found she had posted images of their happy daily life together, which was full of connection and laughter.  At the end of the book, she signed a message to him “Thank you for the adventure, now go have an adventure of your own.” It was her blessing from beyond.  Sometimes we are living with the ghost of who we once were, in trying to honor another we can constrict what is emerging in the current moment.

There is strength in letting go of what we once hoped to allow a new creative opportunity to flow.  Tears streamed down my face as the film neared it’s ending.  It was surprising how poignant the life lessons that were exemplified in a cartoon.  Whenever we engage with a bittersweet piece of art, we cant help but reflect on how this impact our lives.  Watching films such as this can be a contemplative practice, noting how it lands with us today, what emotions arise, and how do we want to direct the narrative of our own stories from this point forward.  Films such as this can be catalyst to course correct one’s journey to live in alignment with one’s current authentic values, not those of the past. 

Ode to Bella

06 Jan 2025 2 Comments

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

My canine companion is turning 16 years old this month.  Often after people ask me about her breed and name, I am quick to also respond with her age.  As I mouth the words 16, often people are impressed.  They may share how old their dogs are, or if they had an elder dog, share stories of the age their dogs lived to.  And there’s a moment of connection, we bond over being parents of elderly dogs.

Over the past 2 ½ years, after Puzo (my English Bulldog) died of 15 years, Bella had a difficult time adjusting.  Her whole time in this world included him being in it.  It was then she began howling if I left the room, because she was alone with no one in her pack.  At the time we were living in Paris, and as we both grieved his loss, we would walk two long blocks to the Eiffel Tower to seek comfort in the park and the spectacular beauty of this site.

She began going with me more on first dates, time with friends, mini vacations.  We drove from France to Spain, as she sat in my mother’s lap for the entire 17 hour trip.  Over time, her age began showing, she no longer could jump on the couch as she used to.  She would tire on our walks, and so I would carry her. People ask me often why not take a stroller, but I think she enjoys lying like a baby in my arms, half asleep, taking in the sun.

Since moving back to America this year, Bella has surprised me. She has learned to swim, learned to play a new game with treats, and taken her first selfie.  Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Bella is proof.

(Bella’s First Selfie)

This week, I had leftovers from a New Years Eve meal: Filet Mignon.  She devoured pieces of it over a span of three days.  Today, my friend and I went to the fancy Rosewood Miramar in Montecito.  I served Bella bits of cerviche. Yes, she is spoiled, but doesn’t a 16 year old deserve this?

Two women visiting from out of state chatted with us as we left the outdoor restaurant.  They noticed the satisfaction in Bella’s face.  My friend was quick to offer that Bella has had a good life, the best life.  And I couldn’t agree more.  16 years ago I found her stray in Santa Barbara county, and she joined me as we moved to Hawaii, LA, England, Paris, Spain, and back to California.  People often ask where did she enjoy the best, but where she loves most I realize is anywhere that I am with more time off, and moments to sleep in the sun. 

With that I offer a Cheers to Bella- my 16 year old chug (or puguaua) bundle of joy. And if you have a dog too, cheers to your companion and witness to the journey of your life

Gratitude and Manifestation

01 Jan 2025 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

“When you appreciate what you have, then you will receive more. When you are in this moment feeling gratitude for this moment you actually up your vibrational signal to attract more things to be grateful for.”-Joe Vitale

Oftentimes we think manifestation is simply visualizing what one wants, taking action, and awaiting results.  We often forget that one component of manifestation is being grateful for what you already have.  And in doing this, you receive more of that, your heightened vibration attracts other high vibration things and people.  Often we want to jump to the next thing we are desiring, without taking in what is already in our lives. 

This tendency we have as humans to move quickly to the next thing reminds me of the time when I lived in England, and tried to participate in the 3 Peak Challenge.  The true nature of this challenge is one tries to climb the highest mountain in Scotland, England, and Wales in 24 hours.  This includes travel time once arriving at the first mountain.  The group I went with, we tried to complete this in 3 days versus 1.  It was interesting to note the competitors who were invested in the spirit of the challenge. They were intent of rushing to get to the peak in as fast as possible, then the bottom of the mountain with as quick of speed.  Although they were exponentially quick, their pace didn’t allow them space to take in the view.  They wanted to get down to the next task at hand.  In reality that day, my friends and I made it up and down 2/3 mountains, and chose the day in between as one of rest and leisure.  That was more our speed, and in that we were able to explore the quaint little town we were staying in Wales.

I admit I am one who tries to prepare for the next accomplishment in my life.  If I am in an undesirable situation in my life, I want to jump forward to the next best thing.  Yet what the law of attraction teaches us is we must truly embrace our current reality before we manifest what is next.

This holiday season was going to be quiet for me.  Spent cleaning, decluttering, as I had minimal time off.  I was spending it focusing on how I want the next part of my life to go.  My brother joked that I was being the Grinch.  He invited me to his fiance’s family house on Christmas Eve and we spent Christmas with our dogs on the beach.  He and his fiancé bought me a purse that I had my eye of for years. Receiving this was a form of manifestation.  The Rive Gauche Yves Saint Laurent one, as each time I looked at it, it reminded me of my year in Paris residing on the Left Bank.  He told me use the purse that day at the beach.  I declined, as I didn’t want to get it dirty.  I wanted to wait for a special occasion to premiere the purse.  He reminded me that on a daily basis he wears nice luxury items just for himself, not for anyone else or any special occasion.  “You need to wear nice things even if it’s just for you.”

And so today, as I sit in a local coffee shop, I am wearing my new purse.  I am noticing how I manifested this into my life.  At the same time, I am appreciating what I have right now.  What I brought into my life at this current moment, taking this in before I jump into what’s next. 

Small Manifestations

28 Dec 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

“Everything you seek and everything you experience – everything– is inside you. If you want to change anything, you do it inside, not outside. The whole idea is total responsibility. There’s no one to blame. It’s all you.”-Joe Vitale

I’ve always been a fan of the film and book The Secret, created by Rhonda Byrne in collaboration with numerous other teachers.  At the time, I was exposed to it, I was working at a homeless shelter in the Bronx.  I was so inspired by it, I bought the DVD, and had a screening at the shelter with a mini workshop. I shared it with friends and parents, who implemented it into my life. And that was the initiation of vision boards in my life. 

Manifestation is a tool I’ve continued to intentionally dabble with in my life, generally at this time of year.  There had been some lashback over the years with the film, because of it’s focus on material things.  I admit that it’s not always on the forefront of my mind of manifesting the life I want.  I sometimes go by the mantra a client once said to me, “life just lifes.”  Yet, over time what is becoming to become apparent is we are constant manifestors, although often unintentional.

The past several days, with preparation for the new year, with fresh goals and intentions I have been listening to interviews with manifesting teachers such as Emma Mumford, Joe Vitale, and Pam Oslie.  There is a reminder that manifestation is a process, but also we are constantly manifesting without even being aware of this. Our thoughts create our reality. The reality we are living (even all that we are complaining about) we manifested this.

I had all this in my mind lately, prior to walking my dog Bella yesterday. A passing thought came of her poop bag by the side of the outside door. I kept it there and didn’t throw it away, because it was a small poop and thought I could add to it, by reusing the bag.  As I opened the front door, the poop bag moved several feet to be on my doorstep waiting for me. I manifested it. It made me laughed but reminded me we manifest on all layers.  However small or large. Our thoughts create reality.

Several weeks ago, I was in Santa Fe New Mexico, inspired by the communal creative vibe that exuded from that city. I went home, wanted create art, and was on the hunt to find a canvas.  I stepped into various everything store shops, and couldn’t find the perfect size.  After having lunch with a friend in Silverlake, in the parking lot was a new canvas and a chair, with a note from the previous owner offering his blessing of creative possibilities to the new owner. I manifested this! 

If I can manifest canvases and poop bags, what else can I manifest?

I share this because the stories we hear of manifestation don’t just have to be big dramatic shifts and changes.  They can, but they start with witnessing and acknowledging the small ways we manifest.  It’s easy to get frustrated with what life seems to throw at us, we seem to be living the motto “life just lifes.”  But we have the power to shift things.  When we complain or act as the victim, we are simply bringing more energy to that situation and remain in it versus taking action. We do have the right to vent, but do we want to live in it?

And so as I write this, what will you manifest?  I will end with a question one spiritual teacher Cynthia Sue Larson asks herself daily…

“How good could it get?”

Denim Creativity

18 Dec 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life. Living in this manner—continually and stubbornly bringing forth the jewels that are hidden within you—is a fine art, in and of itself.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Sometimes we seek out creativity without knowing what to expect.  This was the case several weekends ago in Santa Fe, where my mom, friend, and I went to a free Denim painting workshop put on by the Site Santa Fe Museum (also free to visit) and 4Kinship, an indigenous owned clothing store in town.  We didn’t know what we were in for, as I thought when we signed up that this would be a class to teach us how to paint indigenous designs.  Instead the class offered permission and paint to design whatever your heart called for.  The theme was joy. 

But for before the class began the owner of 4Kinship shared a story of how she had partnered with an organization to build a skatepark on an indigenous reservation.  On the inaugural day of the skate park opening, legend Tony Hawk was invited and came to skate in conjunction with all of the other skaters.   The owner of 4Kinship recruited an individual Shawn, who had been skating for years, to serve as a mentor 2-3 times a week to teach and lead skating lessons.  He offered through mentorship and skating, alternative ways of being and living could be discovered to indigenous youth. Another indigenous creative was there who created a bespoke skateboard company (he also happened to be half Filipino). As this story was told, the owner began to tear up, which made me want to cry out of the beauty of collaboration and commitment to community.

And here we were in a free denim workshop.  She gave us permission in that moment to create for the sake of it.  As we did, there was initial hesitation and trepidation, what if we paint something and it’s wrong? There’s no erasing…. But we began to follow our intuitive hits.  My friend Crystal, had images of faded checkered lines on the back of her denim coat, and was advised a way to seek out those results. My mom free styled a Desigual-esque vibe, as I tried to mimic the essence of examples that were hung of denim with indigenous patterns.  Beats played in the background, we all got in the zone, chatted, and painted.  It didn’t matter what the results were, we temporarily were all being creative collectively.  And there was such beauty in this…

Being in Santa Fe, at this workshop, then strolling down Canyon Drive with dozens of galleries, gave permission to step into my own creativity once again. It’s easy to get caught up in the everyday drama of life, focusing on the daily busy-ness of work and to dos.  But to let your mind wander, let the paintbrush move on a canvas, there was freedom there. As someone who is a creativity coach, I am used to talking to people 1:1 about their creativity, but there is a sacredness in doing this in a group.  Separate and connected.

Reframing Love

14 Dec 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

            As a devotee of romcoms, it seems the world is framed that the potential of romantic love is always a possibility.  Fairytales mold young girls to feel as if their lives are not complete without their knight in shining armors.  And so it’s easy to be feel one is always on the hunt for their other half, and as we go out and about in the world we are programmed to seek couples who exemplify this idealized standard. When we don’t find it, a sense of dissatisfaction and incompleteness can arise. 

            On this Saturday morning, at a chill café in Los Feliz, I did spot a handful of couples.   But what I saw exemplified love to a greater intensity.  It was not the cutesy couples kissing in a corner I saw.  What I witnessed were tables of friendships, groups of men or groups of women meeting up to share their week’s joys, struggles, laughter, goals.  And I realized this was who the majority of the customers were on a Saturday morning.  This was real love.  Love that is loyal, consistent, stable, kind, non-contingent, and long lasting.  Friendship love. 

            So often we are in search of the essence of something that we may already have.  Instead of worrying where one may find love, why not be love, or reside in love that is in one’s atmosphere?  This could be one’s family, friends, or even pets.

            As I write this, I am aware it seems Pollyanna-ish.  Yet love is already all around.  We may not label these interactions and relationships as such, but it offers the same warm feeling of being cared for and offers a sense of belonging. Love is a verb.  Love is an action.  It is not an elusive thing to grasp, and therein lies the problem.  How we believe we should perceive and experience it. At the moment, we may view ourselves as lonely, but ultimately that is a choice in perception.  Allow oneself to experience and feel all the way love shows up in your life this weekend.  Then note how you feel.  Instead of the sense of seeking, there may lie within a sense of satisfaction.

“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” — Oscar Wilde

Unexpected Lessons

24 Nov 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags:

            Earlier this week, I gave a talk to a crowd of over 60 people on mental toughness.  As I prepared for this presentation, I relished in it.  I love talking about the power of the mind, leading people through visualization, meditation, and talking about daily discipline.  These are the types of books I have read, podcasts I listen to, or presentations that I pay to attend.  I’ve had the pleasure over the years to walk on fire with Tony Robbins or hear the eloquent words of the late  Louise Hay say “How you start your day, is how you live your day, and how you live your day is how you live your life.” I’ve led retreats on exactly these topics and get fired up talking about it and love sharing it.

            And yet when I did the presentation, the audience was lackluster.  There was minimal engagement as I walked through the crowd, and tried to get them to interact with me and what we were discussing.  It was a forced workshop for this group.  They were not there due to choice but requirement.  Although there was applause at the end, I didn’t know if this was part of the forced expectations in this type of environment.  As I briefed my colleagues in the office afterwards in regards to how this went, I was quite disappointed with the results. I let that talk go and move forward with the next tasks at hand.

            Something surprised me later in the week.  I unexpectedly had to meet individually with some of the people that were in the crowd for other work related reasons.  As I met with them, they brought up what I had discussed in my presentation.  People in the audience who showed no emotion and boredom when I talked, were actually listening and taking it in.  One brought up manifestation or another himself being mentally tough but having difficulty with his spouse who is overly sensitive.  One resonated with the importance of reflecting on how to make changes in his choices they made throughout the day.

            This experience in some ways humbled me.  I have talked to large crowds the size of 600-800 people, who were engaged and buzzing during my presentation and gave workshops frequently to USAF Special Operations.  I’ve sat in audiences with some of the worlds top speakers and felt through osmosis I could get these people I was talking to excited to change their lives.  But I observed minimal response.  Admittedly my ego was a bit bruised, was it how I delivered the material? Was I not powerful enough? Succinct or engaging? Was this material not relatable to their everyday lives?

But it was only through small whispers did I later realize they were listening.  I didn’t get the automatic crowd response I had hoped for but heard the impact in private conversations days later.   And this is enough.  This is the work. Not the acclaim but the tiny quiet ripple effect.

            What I began to realize is perhaps the lesson in all of this is not wisdom I shared to this group this week, but not to make assumptions on the impact we have on others.  Just because the initial response doesn’t look like a favorable result, there may be residual impact that lingers and emerges at a later point.  We may never know the impact we have on others.  I was lucky to hear comments from several people later in the week, but if I never did I would have perceived that presentation was a flop.  But it did land on them.  They did hear the essence of the talk. 

            It reminds me that whatever way that we are looking to serve the world, we may not receive accolades for the work we do.  But we do make a difference.  Nobody may thank us or let us know, but we impact each other.  How we offer to positively shifts the world has a resonance, and don’t give up because you don’t think anyone is listening.  They are, in more ways than you know. There may not be thunderous applause, but there may be shifts made.

Cruise Life and Characters

18 Nov 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , ,

            I had taken my first and only cruise with my family over 20 years ago, and had never stepped foot on one again until this past week.  The reasons have changed, I wasn’t opting for solely relaxation, family reunion, and a getaway during the autumnal months. I was looking for ways to gain access to the Travel Century Club.  The reason one joins is for bragging rights to claim that you have been to at least 100 territories in the world. On this one, I would add three more to the list: Puerto Rico, St. Kitts & Nevis, Sint Maarten (the Dutch side)/Saint Martin (the French side), Barbados.  This was in addition to the US Virgin Islands, to which I had already been to (St. Thomas and St. Croix).  This would put me at 80, and so on a cruise we go….

            Cruises seem to be made for loving gatherings of large groups of friends and families exploring the world together without having to worry about cooking, cleaning, or driving.  Entertainment and activities are provided, and all that is required of you is to get back onto the ship before departure time each day.  On the first day, there was a massive balloon drop, which my friend and I managed to find ourselves in the front row of the dance floor.  The band played Celebration by Kool and The Gang, as we counted down for the balloon drop.  The crowd screamed as we tapped the balloons to others as they fell from the ceiling slowly, then picked them off the ground to keep them from popping and kept volleyballing them to others on the dance floor. My friend and I realized we were the only adults laughing with joy as we did this.  The only other people doing the same thing were children, but we didn’t care.  This was wonder in action.

            Since my previous cruise departed from Florida, I had a bias that a majority of my fellow cruisers would be from middle America. Surprisingly this was not the case.  We left from San Juan Puerto Rico, and nearly 75% of the guests were Puerto Rican.  At our evening dining table, we were the only ones not from Puerto Rico.  It truly felt we were part of the Caribbean. Dance and lip sync competitions had numerous participants that hailed from Puerto Rico, as the crowd cheered. Fellow mainlanders realized they were in the minority.  A middle aged white man named Kirk even tried to claim he was from Puerto Rico to gain the audience’s love and votes as he competed doing pelvic thrusts and hip sways to Shakira, Ricky Martin, and the song Gasolina. The audience and host knew the truth, saying “alright Kirk from Puerto Rico” but laughed and clapped along anyways to the ridiculous over the top court jester archetype. 

            As we met other guests on this ship, there were people that were regulars in the cruise life.  Whether they remained loyal with the same company and earned points or shopped around dependent on the regions explored.  At some point, I realized we are all reflections of each other.  Two older women sat next to us, whose husbands who opted for the buffet.  They solely spoke French, and I listened in and internally translated bits of their conversation.  Two other older Midwestern friends sat next to us, who resided in Ohio (my home state).  One lady was British, and when I shared the towns, I lived in the UK (Cambridge, Epping, and Bury St. Edmunds), we were both shocked as she revealed her father was born in Bury St. Edmunds.  We all exchanged names, and when I shared my name Tricia, the other woman noted she would remember this as her sister’s name was Patricia.  Patricia Ann specifically (my name is Tricia Ann), who died at the age of 44 (I am 45).  She teared up as she talked about her, and for a moment I thought how she may have needed me to serve as a mirror to her sister for a momentary reflection.

            Staff members we engaged with hailed from India, Indonesia, Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Philippines, and numerous other locations.  A flag dance party the last night of the cruise claimed 57 countries where staff on that specific ship resided from.  One waiter asked if my friend and I (both of Asian descent) if we were married to Americans, wondering how we gained citizenship.  We informed him that we were born in America.  This exchange served as a reminder to be grateful for my family members that made sacrifices to come to America, the land of opportunity.  I am not sure the exact amount staff are paid on cruise ships, but many waitstaff particularly come from low income or third world countries.  These hardworking individuals work for at least 7 months a year, with minimal days off, in hopes of financially moving ahead in their lives. Some may enjoy the lifestyle, as I met one waiter from the Philippines who has worked for this same company for 20 years. The cruise life now is his home, and his homeland is a vacation.   I overheard another staff member from India saying he was retiring after 30 years of working on these cruises.  “Who will you work for now?” a guest asked him.  “My wife,” he said with a smile, he was looking forward to spending time with her and his adult children.

            There is poignancy in small moments. One of the nights, the waitstaff walked around the restaurant, as the guests clapped for their waiters and twirled their white cloth napkins in the air as a form of gratitude and appreciation to those who served them. We joined together in a large dance of the macarena.  One port held 5 cruises on St. Martin, this meant 25,000 of us went ontp the island on that one day.  As one cruise ship left, phone flashlights shone waving goodbye from both ships, as crowds do at concerts. Waving farewell to strangers via phones, or when we passed them on land, reminded me of the universal urge of wanting to connect.

And one begins to realize that we are mirrors for each other.  We may not be as different as we expected.  The characters we observed in our fellow cruise ship passengers were all archetypes, each who exhibit aspects of us.  The court jester who hammed it up for the crowds in dance competitions, the lovers celebrating anniversaries or honeymoons, the bereft who still had residual grief , the royal court who complained about everything, the sick who needed to slow down their pace even on the cruise ship due to recent surgeries, the artists that performed each night, the salesmen who lured you to their stores with raffle prize wins and deals on art auctions or jewelry, the martyrs and wounded healers as staff who sacrificed so much as they served us to make money for people back home, the anxious ones who worried about this ship’s reliability as we swayed and rocked the waves on the boat, the gamblers who vowed to win more in the casinos, and the explorers who longed to step onto new lands, We have a desire to live for something more.  We are here to celebrate, to cry, laugh, dance, and connect.  For a brief period we were all unplugged from the everyday devices and linked with those around via conversation, laughter, song, travel, presence, and appreciation for one another. I’ve met so many types of characters on this ship, even some characters within myself that have been dormant.

Who may you meet?

A Time for Metta

09 Nov 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags:

The day after the election, half of America was in shock, the other half was in glory.  In work environments, we’ve been encouraged to not discuss hot topics: politics, religion, and salaries.  Therefore, this was minimized, but what did take our attention was the strong Santa Ana winds that prevailed, and the smell of smoke in the air.  In and out of sessions with clients, I would hear chatter that the smoke was from fires happening in the outskirts of the nearby Camarillo area.  500 acres were on fire, which quickly jumped to 1000 within the hour.  Individuals who lived close to the areas affected were being told to go home and get their valuables and evacuate.  Someone said aloud “oh no, my fish.”  My work cellphone offered a loud warning to evacuate.  
            We were encouraged to download an app to get updates of the fire, and see if you were located in the next evacuation target area. I looked at the app, it looked like fires were nearing the local animal shelters, and I worried what would be their fate.  It was noted that the animals were brought to a temporary place for safety.  My first thoughts were my dog Bella, she was my most valuable thing I owned at the moment.  I wrote down on my hand the other necessity items I would need if I had to evacuate quickly: passport, computer, ipads.  But that is it. I didn’t pack a getwaway bag, but it passed through my head. My colleagues reminded me I should be okay because I live two miles from the beach, but is anyone ever fully safe?
            I thought of all the people who had to evacuate, including my brother’s future mother-in-law and her husband.  They recently purchased a home with acres in this targeted area.  How were they doing? I observed pictures online of people watching their homes go up in flames. Throughout the day the fire grew to 10,000 acres, not contained.  Eventually most of the departments at my job site were to work the remainder of the day from home to be ready for any preparations that may have needed to be made.  My 15 year old dog Bella was excited to see me at the house early, and I had to calm her down as I had a therapy session to conduct for the remaining hour.  Colleagues sent multiple status updates of their safety. 
            All the while I thought, “How do we go about our day in a normal manner?”  Kids were sent home from school and school was already cancelled for the following day. Cars line the streets, everyone is home waiting for further news.  It was eerie walking outside.  Bella and I went to grab a coffee, she was itching for a walk along a nearby harbor.  A place that was generally full of people of all ages in pairs, getting their steps in with friends or their pets.  It was empty, the only other dog walker came out of his home on a boat.
 The sky had pastel colors as the orange sun shone through, and I was reminded a friend once told me when the sun looks as beautiful as this the air quality is bad. She was right.  The hues were pink and purple, and although one couldn’t tell by the picturesque view, the fire continued to expand. 
            The morning after when I awoke, it was then 14,000 acres and counting later reaching 20,000 and eventually to a 7% containment. The air now  appears clear but smells of an all night bonfire. All we can do now, is send loving kindness to those impacted and the firemen and women helping those in this emergent situation.
             I listened to a Metta/Loving Kindness Meditation that morning.
            May we be free from suffering
            May we be free from internal and external enemies
            May we be happy
            May we live this life with healthy bodies and happy minds

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