Meeting One’s Parallel, Past and Future Lives In Travels

“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.”― David Mitchell

“Where are you from?” It’s the number one question we were asked and asked others on this trip.  It was a question that had potentially layers of responses.  This is not just what country we were raised in, but where were we living, where did our ancestors come from, and where did we aspire to live?  One of the most interesting things about travel is the people you meet, if you give yourself the opportunity to exchange words with strangers. On this most recent trip to the UAE, we met people from India, Philippines, Pakistan, Nepal, Uganda, Egypt, Algeria, Greece, Germany, Singapore, England, Netherlands, and America.  This is a tiny glimpse of who exists on this land.

Dubai is one of the most expensive cities in the world.  The local population in the UAE is anywhere from 8-20%.  One guide alluded to the fact that many of the locals do not work, having received large portions of their finances from oil.  Oil was discovered only decades earlier, which brought the new found wealth to the country to a group of people who were nomadic bedouines.  He noted that in addition to receiving free healthcare and education, some newlyweds are offered land or villas to assist with their new start in life.  When we asked our tour guide if he was of local Emirates descent, he responded “would I be giving this tour if I was?” He said this as he drove us around six of the seven Emirates in one day, he worked seven days a week, giving group and private tours, and sleeps several hours a night balancing work life, family life, and playing professional cricket.  

We know that a country can’t survive if nobody works, particularly countries such as the UAE that are developing at such a fast place.  This means that 80-92% living in the UAE are expats.  Newer digital nomads from Western countries move here due to tax breaks, with zero percent income tax.  A fellow German explorer who was on this Emirates tour with us lived in Saudi Arabia for over the past ten years working as a HR consultant for a wealthy family and their multiple businesses.  He loved the Middle East and wanted to move to Dubai with his Mexican wife who lives in Qatar, for these exact tax benefits and to expand his business.  But not everyone has the financial freedom to live anywhere.  

It’s been said that 50% of the population are from India, and another large majority are Filipino.  Our Ugandan waitress at a Japanese restaurant asked my friend and I if it was the first time we went to this restaurant. We nodded are heads, as we were there during a Wednesday, which coincided with all you can eat sushi night.  Shethought we were expats who were splurging on our night off.  It made sense, because I am a mix of Filipina and Eastern European descent and my friend Isabella is Thai.  We were brown just like everyone else we saw on the metro and streets.  We looked like we could be living here, fellow servers in another restaurant.  And if things were different, maybe we would be. 

I couldn’t help but think of a parallel life I would have, if my grandmother never immigrated to America from the Philippines.   I have mixed feelings with being American, particularly having lived in the UK and Europe for the past 10 years.  But I often forget the world of opportunities that are available with an American passport and making a salary in USD.  

The UAE is welcoming to those wanting to come to their country, allowing one to attain a work visa while on a tourist visa.  But for some individuals in service industry jobs, one wonders what it is really like.  Pay is low (although probably more than that of one’s third world country), health care is provided, transportation to and from one’s job is also offered.  This is in addition to lodging, but transportation is on large school buses.  Tourists are enamored by the bright lights of the skyskrapers and the fountain show in front of the flashing Burj Khalifa.  One only has to look a little further outside a taxi or bus window to see the lines forming on the side entrances of malls or hotels, picking up and dropping off staff members at transitional hours.  The UAE is expensive and therefore having housing benefits is a perk, but it’s been said that people may have up to 10 roommates in a 1bedroom apartment.  I shared this story to friends in Paris, and they had heard rumors of passports being taken until debts are paid back to those who brought them over to the UAE. My ex-husband who was Italian American told me this years ago as he was sent to Dubai to open a new restaurant, but I couldn’t fathom the depths of struggle industry workers from third world countries were facing.  

 This blows my mind, and I wonder how this occurs in a land that many pilgrimage to in order to see these astounding feats of human creation.  The UAE has created man made islands, engages in cloud seeding (where planes fly into clouds to produce rain), there are ever increasing skyscrapers and it boasts the most records in the Guinness Book of World Records, with such extravagances as the largest mall, the tallest building, and the largest gold piece of jewelry.  These extravagances are built on the backs making meager income.  It is a choice to work in the UAE, but how much freedom do these people have? 

  We often forget that physical space, such as one bedroom apartments, are a luxury many of us are privy to. Sacrifices are made to live in the UAE with one’s privacy, living situation, weather, and working hours. Oftentimes money is sent back to families in their homeland, expat parents may be providing money for grandparents or aunties and uncles caring for their own biological children they had to leave behind for all to lead “better” lives.  I pondered what my life would have been like, if my grandmother, aunt, and mother never left the Philippines. Although they had great jobs in the medical field and we came from a wealthy family, who would I be if they hadn’t been willing to take the leap to move to a new land? 

 We talked with some of the people we met who moved to the UAE from other countries and now had aspirations to move to Nordic territories such as Finland or Sweden.  Although these countries are also some of the most expensive in the world and can get extremely cold, it was an aspiration to live in these exotic lands.  The UAE was to be a springboard for their next dream.  They were paying their dues working hard there to aspire to advance to places with more freedom, income, and flexibility within the EU. 

There were other moments of my future and past meeting me on this trip.  On an hour long cruise along the Dubai Creek, we met three individuals travelling together. We thought they were a cute adult family, but it turns out two were Caucasian coworkers at a travel company and the other Hispanic individual who was travelling with them they had just met and asked to come along: Mike, Joan, and Toey.  One of the individuals, Mike, was our ideal future travel self.  Both Isabella and I set a goal recently to join the Travel Century Club (TCC) before we turn 50.  To join TCC one must travel to at least 100 territories, which is more expansive than countries.  After the UAE, I am currently at 75 territories and 53 countries.  Mike was familiar with TCC, as he has travelled to over 165 territories, including the North Pole and Antarctica several times. This 68-year-old man was a kindred spirit because he encouraged us to go to Unesco World Heritage sites and National Parks.  These are places Isabella always strives to visit, and this year I had applied to work at both of these organizations. Both Joan and Mike were on a cruise together throughout Greece and Egypt and met fellow passenger Toey.  Mike was supposed to have his girlfriend come on this extended holiday with him, but she wasn’t able to make it, therefore they invited Toey for the ride. Toey was a young special education teacher from Texas, who bought a one way ticket to Europe, as he was on disability leave.  He never had time or money to travel, as he was always working.  Now was his chance, he had little plans and allowed moments of synchronicity to arise on this trip. Mike felt empathy and compassion for Toey, being a previous educator himself, and offered an invitation for him to tag along and take his girlfriend’s spot on the remainder of his Middle Eastern and European journey.  Mike was paying travel privileges forward, and I had a feeling in the future Toey would do the same to another stranger. 

On another excursion to the Dubai Spice and Gold Souks, we met two African American coworkers from Washington DC, who were court reporters.  They appeared to be in their fifties to sixties and had travelled the world together.  I had realized that Isabella and I were also prior coworkers, as we met on the set of filming a television show over twenty years ago on a set in Los Angeles.  We have also taken trips around the world together. This was their second time in Dubai in two years.  They loved it so much and there was more to experience on their UAE bucket list they had yet to achieve, so they returned.  Their zest for life was how we aspire to continue to wander the world and make the most of the vacations we have.  Time passed on the large souk tour, and we lost track of these fellow travellers.  I noted to Isabella how we didn’t get to say goodbye, but the Universe wanted to ensure we did.  That same evening, after getting lost in the world’s largest mall, the Dubai Mall, we ran into them, shared our days’ experiences, and grabbed a selfie.  We were them and they were us. 

The following day our jam packed adventure tour included two young 30 something men from Greece, and an African American fifty something married couple from Columbus Ohio.  These young men were working as engineers on a construction project and were in Dubai for the past 20 days. That day was their first day off that month, and we could tell they were letting off steam as they glided and weaved in and out of their atvs or surfing on the sand dunes.  Their past several years were filled with 12 hours work days in foreign countries, sacrifices made for their future selves.  Both Isabella and I could relate to this offering much of our energy and time in our 30s to our jobs, making the most out of any amount of free time we had.  In regards to the Ohio couple, he was retired working for the military, living in various places in America throughout his life, including Hawaii but being raised in New York.  I was born in Ohio, and meeting someone from Ohio in the Middle East is simply wild. We talked story of Ohio State football culture, which has it’s own traditions.  In addition, their military and New York and Hawaii life resonated with me, as I have worked with them, lived in NYC and Hawaii twice myself.  

These are reflections I have on my Air France flight back to Spain, as an American, where I currently reside which has a layover in Paris, where I lived last year.  All versions of me being an amalgamation on one trip.  What’s so fascinating with this trip is that Dubai seemed like every place and no place.  The downtown city skyline was endless and took the best brands from multiple countries of hotel chains, restaurants, cafes, grocery lines, and clothing stores and brought them all there.  It’s a wealthy city which refreshingly smells of sandalwood everywhere you go, and is a melting pot of expat workers whose sole existence is to build, serve, and grow this land into a cosmopolitan luxury superpower and have bragging rights for as many world records as possible. With every person we met, regardless of their ethnicity or occupation, I could relate. In some way, whether in a past, present, future, or parallel world- they all could be me. It’s vital to see the similarities amidst the differences and to be able to see ourselves in others.  Take the time to talk to strangers, whether fellow travelers or staff members.  Who knows which version of you will be met on your next trip? 

Sacred Moment in Dubai Desert

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did.” ― Mark Twain

            As I held tightly to the grip of my atv in the Dubai desert, I tried to convince myself “this is supposed to be fun.” It was my first time on an atv, with minimal instructions given, outside of how to turn the vehicle on and follow who is in front of you.  “Follow me exactly, you don’t know the desert, and if you go even one meter off, it could be a drop in the sand.”  I was over alert, after my atv stalled and turned off in the first 10 minutes, after I gave it too much gas.  I couldn’t turn correctly and would veer too much to one direction, or I only pushed the gas minimally, and lingered behind the group due to my lack of speed.   I remained hesitant throughout the first half of my drive.  

            My friend and I were on an 8 day journey to the UAE, to add seven emirates to our ever expanding list of territories for the Travel Century Club (TCC).  We had spent two days travelling from Spain to get here, after a cancelled flight in Paris.  Our sleep was minimal and now our adrenaline was heightened on this day long adventure excursion.  I couldn’t help but wonder if we were overdoing it at this moment. 

            As we drove our atvs up and down small hills, they would get stuck out of the sand.  Our tour guide would have to get into the seat or lift the vehicle out of deepened sand.  Our atvs then drove up a large hill and stopped in a central area, where all other drivers were stopping.  It was time for sandsurfing.  A snowboard was used as perhaps sandboards do not exist, as our Egyptian tour guide noted it’s the same.  I’ve never snowboarded or skied.  I wondered if I fall down.  The couple from Ohio in our group both opted to skip this portion of the journey, while the Greek boys flowed down the sand, as if they were naturals.   And the first time going down the hill, within seconds I fell. My bum was temporarily sore, but nothing horrible happened. I got up again and tried, and made it down the hill without falling.  I did it! It was after this, that the tour guide then said, “We’re going to go through the difficult part now, don’t be scared. If you are scared, then it will impact your drive.  You got this.  What’s the worst that could happen? You fall in sand?” 

            I am not sure if it was those words from our guide who said, “what’s the worst that could happen?”, my first failed attempt in the sand or the confidence I built when accomplishing this feat, but a shift occurred.  When I got on the atv again, something changed.  I was more relaxed, I drove faster.  I caught up with the group with more ease. I recognized I needed to be at one with the vehicle. Surrender to the moment, process, and align with the experience.  It was when I felt this that I began to enjoy this ride.  

            This was a metaphor for my journey to the United Arab Emirates. I was slightly concerned of travelling this deep into the Middle East, due to worries from friends, family members, and the news.  My mom also heightened fear in me of getting arrested for bringing the wrong medication or vitamins, chewing gum if it was illegal, or wearing inappropriate clothing.  I had been warned of an American female who recently was arrested and jailed for touching an airport security guard, and having an argument with him.  I prepared for this trip with the mantra of “do not get arrested” versus “live it up lavishly and enjoy.”  This was evident in the initial clothing I packed looked as if I was going to Amish country in Ohio rather than the cosmopolitan city of Dubai.  But after watching loads of youtube videos and Sex and the City 2, I realized I needed to bring a little bit more color to my wardrobe. And so I did. I would be respectful of the culture, but still be me.  

            What I needed to do was loosen my grip on the vehicle, let go of fear, build confidence, learn from my falls, and be at one with the experience.  Surrender and be present, not just for this ride, but for this trip, and for the larger journey of life. 

Comfort in Coffee

“I would rather own a little and see the world than own the world and see a little of it.” ~ Alexander Sattler

            Today I leave for a one week long silent retreat. Although I am flying from Spain to Italy, there’s no stress. The bus ride to the airport and security check in was easy, minimal people and lines. There is beauty in travelling in your city’s down season.  I am not fluent in Spanish or Italian, but travelling between these countries is uncomplicated.  Currently I am living in Spain, and Italy I have been to nearly fifteen times. It feels as if it is a second home, and therefore my parasympathetic nervous system is in activation.  

            One has to mentally prepare for a silent retreat.  The planner and I Pad were left at home.  In addition, to forewarning others they will not be hearing back from you anytime soon (friends, family, jobs, landlords, etc), you must also forewarn yourself. No speaking, communicating, Netflix online scrolling, google searching, social media posting, or news reading. It sounds lovely right? But you have to be prepared.

            I will be at the Mandali Retreat Center, literally among the clouds, near the Alps.  Because this is my fourth time at this retreat center and with teachers I have studied with for years, I can relax.  My body knows it will be taken care of.  From the beautiful landscape I will be surrounded by, to the vegetarian homemade food I will eat, teas available, or the pool and jacuzzi at my convenience- I know I can relax.  My only job for one week is to be present.  There are no meetings to be had, emails to respond to, or expectations that can be made of me. As I write this, I am truly grateful, and realize this is pure luxury. 

            As I sit in the airport, and sip my coffee, there’s even more comfort.  Costa Coffee is a British coffee chain.  It once was my favorite, when I lived there, and now it’s an infrequent treat that I see on rare occasions. It’s as if I am sipping onto warm memories. 

            Travelling can be stressful, as there are so many components involved, as one prepares for a trip.  All must line up, from transportation, to who will dog sit or house sit, packing, lines to wait in, and everything in between.  Being able to have the opportunity to feel relaxed and rested amidst the height of travel offers that gentle but firm support one needs to voyage. 

Old Post but Timely

I recalled an old post I did on this very site and wanted to share due to the timeliness of it all . It was my previous trip to Israel and Palestine, a very detailed description of a refugee camp area and being inside the wall. I admit re-reading it was eye-opening. Please read and share. Thank you.

https://itonlytakesasmile.com/2018/01/26/banksy-anarchist-or-saint/?fbclid=IwAR3NXmjX9SDrYZZdEt92mCRXXJku2vDWNlmflWPlxoL9FXgiuY9DuTMqzo8

A Meditative Train Ride

This morning I took the train from Malaga to Madrid.  It was a 750 am train with one stop in Cordoba.  The twenty-three minute walk to the train station from my home was in complete darkness on this mid-October morning.  After getting through a brief security screening and check-in, I finally arrived at my seat on the air conditioned train.  I’ve always enjoyed train rides, due to the tranquility and distance one travels without having to be the one to drive. It’s a simple journey, different than the stress one can feel when taking a trip via airports. 

As our train left the station, darkness still surrounded us.  I took the time to journal and check emails.  But as we travelled through the Andalucian landscape, there were glimmers that the sun was slowly waking up.  Eventually, I caught a glimpse of it as it peaked out over the countryside, and all of a sudden it burst out.  And I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the beauty of this moment.  Sunrises occur daily, but it’s so infrequent that I actually get to see them.  I feel appreciative that I was able to witness this.  I didn’t have time to properly do a full on meditation this morning, but I realized this served as my meditation.  

One doesn’t need to be in a lotus position to seek a higher state.  All that is needed is awareness and presence to all of your five senses.  The moment was reminding me of the sacredness of life that is available to us all, whenever we are willing to witness it. 

Next time you have the opportunity to opt for a train ride, take it.  In Europe, train rides are a standard way to travel.  But as Americans, we prefer to drive or fly due to comfort and a longing for immediate gratification.  Allow yourself the luxury of lingering on a train, without having to worry about being the driver, traffic, being rushed, or anything outside of witnessing what is outside your window. 

Comfort By Strangers

“If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world.”-Francis Bacon

Sometimes we can find the most comfort in surprising places: strangers.  We don’t expect anything from them, because they don’t know us.  This fact is when a kind word is said or gracious act done, the appreciation in our hearts can linger.  This was evident in several instances the past two weeks.  

Two weeks ago, one of my childhood friends was visiting me for her first European trip.  Since I have lived here for nine months, I took her to some of my favorite places in Andalucia.  This included one of the most beautiful beaches in Nerja, a 45 minute to 75 minute bus ride away (dependent on if it’s direct).  The waves were strong that day, and I only had the energy to put my feet in.  I had gone one week prior when the water was tranquil, and I didn’t want to navigate the currents.  But Lisa was mesmerized by the waves, she entered a trance of it’s blue hue beauty and power.  She walked in deeper, and the waves dragged her in for an embrace.  I was in the sand at this point and saw her face after she was pulled in and laughed.  Her mouth was open and she was surprised.  Me and a stranger tried to motion another wave was coming and to prepare for it, she got dragged in again.  Lisa prefers to say she was “spanked by the Mediterranean.”  Without hesitation, this stranger went towards Lisa to try to offer assistance by pulling her arm up out of the water.  I sat in astonishment.  I didn’t think she was in danger, but would have easily gotten in a constant battle with the sea. Timing was everything to get out without being pulled back in. Every other person in the sea was also having this experience, but relished in it.  Adults transformed to children to surrender their control to these strong waves.  Lisa still had her sunglasses on and was not prepared for the intensity.  In that moment, I thought how kind it was this stranger offered support while I sat there in pure surprise.

The other day I sat in a local tattoo shop, awaiting my turn for an hour long session.  I talked to a young woman who was getting a souvenir tattoo, after a two week trip to Spain from the UK.  It was an empowerment trip for her, post break up, and a means to exemplify her strength and symbolism of this trip.  As she searched for what to get, she asked me, “are you ready to get a tattoo? Mentally ready?  Because you have to be.”   I agreed.  I motioned to where I was getting the tattoo, and she had gotten a large tattoo in the same area before.  Hers took 8 hours, compared to my potential one pending hour.  She said, “Oh yes, the ankle is tender. You have to be prepared.”  I appeared very non-chalant, as I had been researching the style of tattoo for months.  I wasn’t aware that it would take this long. But she was right, I needed to get in the zone.  A staff member asked if I wanted a coffee, I didn’t. But this stranger encouraged me to take the coffee, I would need the caffeine to get in the zone. And I was grateful for this short exchange we had with each other, hopefully I offered some support for her in this tiny end to her journey as well. I took the espresso shot and meditated for an hour during the session.  

Post the tattoo, as I took my dog Bella out for a walk, we sat at this local playground.  Bella likes to sit here in partial sun and shade, and people watch. Several little girls asked to pet Bella, not believing she was 14 years old.  One girl lingered.  She was Morena like me, appeared to be 7 years old, and had 3 dogs at home.  She had a gentle and calming nature about her as she pet Bella, and asked questions in Spanish.  I responded in Spanish.  It was one of the few people I have spoken to here this long without being self-conscious of my Spanish proficiency.  Her tee shirt had the words enchanting and charrming on it, and it suited her perfectly. After five minutes, she said “Voy a poco jugar ahora.”  Translated to “I’m going to play a little now.”  Bella and I offered a wave and continued on our walk. 

All three instances were brief instances of kindness with strangers, different ages and ethnicities.  I do not know any of their names, and will probably not see any of them ever again, but for several brief moments comfort was shared in knowing one wasn’t alone during these times.  

Muses, Strangers, and Artist Dates

Years ago I yearned to be a muse for artists, perhaps this is why I fell for artistic individuals.  It didn’t matter if they were painters, writers, or musicians, if they had artistic ability, I was interested.  I then began to learn to deepen my own creativity and explore the beauty that existed within.  

Numerous paths to art entered my world, such as various forms of dance, writing, collage art, and even the way I chose to dress.  With time, I even became a creativity coach to help bring this out in others.  I embraced the phrase Frida Kahlo used as an anthem “I am my own muse.”  I even got the word “muse” tattooed on my body, as a reminder that I can be my own muse.

            And this past week, unknowingly I was one.

            After eating lunch at a restaurant in Granada, a woman waved me over.  I had noted she had a sketch pad earlier in the hour, but I didn’t think anything of it.  She proceeded to show me the drawings she created of me, as I was talking with my friend.  I snapped these two photos to capture the moment, and was honored. 

She was a fellow tourist, from the UK, exploring Andalucia with her husband.  For a moment, she chose to have an artist date, and offered to show me what she completed.  We shared brief life bios, and went on about our days.  It was a brief but heart warming exchange.  

These sometimes serve as the most fascinating parts of travel, happenstance occurrences with strangers.  We could impact each other through philosophical conversations, travel tip assistance, or physically helping another with their luggage.  Energy is mutually exchanged.  Who knows, you may even sometimes serve as another’s muse.  

Luxury in Time

            I feel so grateful, as I write this, I am sitting in the ballroom of the House of the Blackheads in Riga Latvia.  I am in the ballroom nearly alone, with my laptop, classical music playing, and drinking a cappuccino.  The adult entrance fee for this museum was 7 euros, but for one extra euro, you could get a hot drink.  There was no café to drink it in, the museum attendant said “bring it to the ballroom, sit on the furniture.”   This is the opposite of what one is generally told in a historical museum.  I felt as if I was being a rebel, but she encouraged me to live life like a queen.  Now this is luxury.

            As I sit here, I am close to tears.  There is nothing sad, but tears of appreciation for moments like this. Quiet unexpected moments, where you feel as if you are royalty.  To sit in an expansive ballroom, surrounded by chandeliers, paintings, classical music, wooden floors, and loads of history.  I was being asked to slow down, indulge, and enjoy life. 

            My friend noted the other day how money affords expansiveness of time.  We were discussing inflation in Lithuania (and the rest of the world).  Years ago when things were cheaper, time was slower.  He didn’t have to hurry, hustle, and work. Money stretched and so did time.  And for me, this time affluence is a luxury.  Each time I have it, I am so grateful. 

            Sitting here in Riga Latvia, after I checked out of my hotel, waiting for an evening flight, I have no plans and nothing but hours of time.  Perhaps this is why I want to cry, out of a surprising moment of joy, where staff encouraged me to fully appreciate the abundance of time in a beautiful setting with a cappuccino.  There is nothing better.

            As I age, I realize tears arise more easily.  Sometimes it’s sadness, struggle, anger, but often it’s moments of gratitude, appreciation, awareness of synchronicity, love, joy, serendipity, beauty, the bittersweet nature of life.  Isn’t this what the fullness of life is about?  We are to drink it all in.  And I feel that is what I am doing with this cappuccino right now.  

“The most precious resource we all have is time.” — Steve Jobs

Seeing Kindness in Struggle

Sometimes trips just aren’t what you have planned. This was the case this past week.  Without getting into the details, I was left stranded in a country which I didn’t speak the language, 40 minutes from the city center by train, with a heavy bicycle, on a date that went bad who wanted me to go cycling in the sand.  It’s been 8 years since I bicycled, and he thought bicycling in the sand would be a good idea.  He left our trip together, and I was stranded to fend for myself navigating back to Riga on these trains from the Soviet Times. I had to lift a bicycle up and down these massive steps with doors that were difficult to open.  Luckily strangers helped me in this moment bring the bike in before the train doors closed.  When the train worker came by so I could pay for my ticket, I said “Riga.”  She said No!  She didn’t speak English, and a passenger said in broken English.  “Wrong way, how did you do this?”  I didn’t know.  It was a moment I wanted to break down and cry.  I had to get off at the next stop, and do this all over again for the next train on the opposite track.  I was stuck carrying this heavy bicycle in a land where I didn’t know the language and I physically had to have strangers help me.  My date left me stranded, but I was so kind that in broken English people could help me.  It was definitely a rom com go bad moment, where things must shift and get better.  

I am so grateful in moments like this for humans that are willing to help.  Although they didn’t know how much it meant to me at those times, when I felt alone and hurt, their physical presence in assisting me meant the world.  I know I will pay it forward in the future, as the saying says “we are all just walking each other home.” 

“Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

Travel Guides and Kindness

I pilgrimaged to the Black Madonna in Einsiedeln today.  I originally was travelling to Zurich in order to visit the small country of Lichtenstein.  Then, I realized, there was a Black Madonna here that Carl Jung previously visited and wrote about.  It was the Black Madonna that was closest in distance to him, and therefore he wrote about Her. Upon hearing this, I knew where my next pilgrimage would be to.  But the journey actually began the week prior.    

I had just returned home from a group pilgrimage to the Black Madonna in Italy.  I had messaged to confirm with someone I hired from an online app in regards to my dog’s upcoming stay with her.  But she cancelled last minute. I struggled to find a new sitter during the height of summer, searching both online and in person.  I made numerous requests, including to a friend that lived in Paris who I offered to fly out to Spain.  Eventually, prayers were answered.   Someone who attended my sound healing class, Manuella, offered to watch Bella.  Hearing this meant the world to me.  

In this moment, I noted this is where I need to invest in community.  I realize being somewhat nomadic, I develop loads of acquaintances but minimal friends.  What I truly need at times like these are friends, and having someone offer was so heartfelt.  Manuella had come to multiple  sound baths, and felt various forms of healing that occurred from then.  Although she didn’t state this, I felt she actually was paying back the favor in watching Bella.  She was just driving back from France, her home country, the same day I dropped off Bella. Words couldn’t describe how precious and impactful this was.  I realized this dog sitting component and numerous other factors all lined up for this to happen.  The ease of the train ride, having an entire row to myself on the plane, waking up to my lipstick on my hand in the shape of a heart, having free wifi (since my mobile network isn’t functioning), and the ability to feel safe in a foreign land like Switzerland.  

My pilgrimage to Einsiedeln may have been one day long but included walks, a plane ride, and train rides (one that had three transfers).  I got minimal sleep due to an early flight, late dog drop off the night prior, and a bit of travel stress that prevented me from falling asleep promptly.  On an extended train layover, I opted to get a pretzel baguette filled with curry falafel.  The concept of this meal didn’t make sense, numerous cultures hodgepodged together in one sandwich.  I hopped on the train and ate this delicious cultural mystery.  It was so tasty, and now I had the souvenir of the curry smell all over me.  

As I arrived in Einsiedeln, I wasn’t exactly sure how to get to the Abbey.  I stepped off the train, walked into the quaint picturesque Swiss town and stumbled into a hiking clothing store.  The worker greeted me in German, and I showed her a screenshot I took of the Einsiedeln Abbey.  “How do I get here?” I asked.  I spoke no German, she walked outside with me to show me where to go so I wouldn’t be confused.  I was curious how far would this be.  She pointed left and she said, “It’s easy, easy, easy.  You walk 1 ½ minutes and you are right there.” I laughed.   It wasn’t what I expected.  Why step out of the store to show me the directions of where to walk for a 1 minute journey? But I deeply appreciated it.  It was as if she was a guide who magically appeared reminding me, “You are almost there” or “It’s only as hard as you make it out to be.” 

 I finally arrived at the Abbey.  The smell of flowers in a mini casita that surrounded her was poignant.  The excess of flowers and Her gorgeous sparkly blue gown must have been from the Assumption only one week before.  It  was apparent that I must have really smelled like curry, which was juxtaposed to the heavenly floral scent.  I kneeled in front of the Black Madonna, felt welcomed curry and all, and I cried.  I internally heard her say to me, “It’s okay.  You can relax now.”   

I don’t know if this “relax” statement was in regards to the numerous modes of transportation I endured for the day, the struggle of finding a sitter for Bella, or for receiving word that I had gotten a new dream job the week prior, the culmination of seeing 7 Black Madonnas the preceeding weeks.  The smells of the flowers brought back reminders of the floral scents in wakes and funeral of loved ones I have lost.  This Black Madonna was different than others.  She had round cheeks, felt sweet, regal, and was inclusive of the knowledge and wisdom that both my Ninang and Lola had, and one day my grandmother, mother, and maybe me.   I cried and felt held.  

The Black Madonna looked as if she was the Queen of the Sea and the Night, in her flashy blue sparkly dress.  Her attire changes dependent on what the staff members choose to dress her in for the occasion.  I felt lucky that I was visiting in what seemed to be a celebratory occasion.  Time passed as I observed Her, and I felt a tiny tension headache arising.  I heard Her say to me, “Take care of yourself and come back.  Don’t be greedy, let other people have time with me.” These are words mothers would say, the truth laced with sweet kindness and unconditional love.  Take care of my needs, which included drinking water and taking bathroom break, buy some souvenirs and come back.  This is what I did.  

I am learning to have a different experience with Her this past month.  It’s different than the past, of just thinking of problems or things I want when I visit a new church or see another Black Madonna.  It’s as if I was putting an order in the universe.  Now as I sat in front of her, I tried to listen to my body.  How did my body feel in Her presence?  What was being said?  What images or intuitive hits am I receiving?  I generally ensure I sit as close to her as possible, and take time to journal in front of her to note all that is arising.  

If I really listened, I began to discern how each Black Madonna has a different feeling.  Her facial expressions are different and what She stands for is different.  The energy She commands and the people that are devotees of her are all different.  But it’s taken solitude and inquiry to explore what is truly arising in this moment.  

As I left the church, a little Indian boy grabbed my hand, as I walked past a café.  His parents laughed and apologized for him.  I am not sure what he saw in me.  The gold I wore that was shiny and flashy, something playful in my youthful walk, someone brown in a sea of whiteness therefore I looked familiar.  I too laughed it off, but was curious what did he know, what did he see? Maybe he was someone who simply wanted to share his joy for that moment, with a stranger. 

I write this now in a café, accessing some free wifi, and another stranger is kind enough to let me use her charger (as I brought the wrong kind).  She was Albanian, living in Italy, and staying with her family in Zurich. She offered this, when she saw me struggling trying one usb charger after another on the whole floor of this coffee shop.  She said, “we all need to charge our devices.”  It was another reminder that we are here to support each other on this journey of life, whether it’s a passing stranger offering a usb, a young boy giving a gentle nudge of the hand, store worker going out of her way to give directions, or an acquaintance offering to watch your dog. Oftentimes we see how we give to the world, but how often do we see how the world gives back to us? 

If I continue to have a soft gaze as I interact with the world today, I will notice the grace that arises in my interactions with all that I meet.  I will see the connection all of us have, and the longing for something more.  There’s a sense of gratitude as I engage with the world, knowing I am supported by the Black Madonna, all travel guides, angels, and the kindness of strangers. 

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