Old Shoes

16 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

My teal Birkenstocks have been broken in the past 2 years.  I purchased them in Europe, and gently wore them back and forth during my time in Spain.  But they helped me transitioned as I returned to my California beach life, after ten years abroad.  I molded them to fit my feet as I walked my 16 year old Bella daily, whether on a promenade that surrounded a harbor, to the neighborhood of Silverlake when visiting my brother, or to the beginning of the beach’s edge.

They are comfortable to wear in all types of terrain, with rubber bottoms that keep you from sliding.  When I did my beach walks,  I had them remain on my feet until they hit the sand, which they were then popped into a canvas bag.  My dog and I walked barefoot in the sand and the ocean, until her paws grew tired and I would carry her for the remainder of our long walks.  These teal birkenstocks were my comfort shoes.  I always have a pair of birkenstocks that turn into these steady companions.  As time progresses,  they lose their new sheen, become discolored with the excessive use, and simply are my errand shoes.

            These teal Birkenstocks remained with me, after I had to put Bella to sleep, and I would attempt to return to the beach to do the walks without her.  Grief accompanied me, but so did these shoes.  They were there as I relocated to my new home, another beach town, supporting me to feel the sand a hundred miles north of where I was living.   They brought me consistency and stability, until they no longer did. 

            And now the shoes are almost too comfortable and exacerbate a soreness in my foot that doesn’t exist when I wear other shoes.  It’s as if these old shoes carry the old pain with me.  And I have a realization, its time to let go.  For to continue wearing these shoes, will only further hurt my feet.  When I looked at the bottoms, they are starting to lose their traction, perhaps allowing a slip to occur.  And I realize the more I hold onto and wear these shoes, its keeping me from wearing all the shoes in my closet waiting to have experiences. And so with that, I say thank you to the teal birkenstocks. And slip my feet into a pair of pink Havana slide ons to geret the afternoon ocean. Let’s see what is next in store.

Quarterly Goal Check In

13 Apr 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

            The first quarter of the year has completed, and one of the goals I kept is not buying any clothing, shoes, or accessories for the entire year.  And somehow so far I have kept this up!  Has it been difficult?  Initially, yes.  In January, I went to the visiting art exhibit Luna Luna, which was a display of carnival art pieces from the likes of Keith Haring, Salvador Dali, Jean Michel Basquiat.  Of course, I wanted something to remember this exhibit by or prove I was there, and what better way to do this than a tee shirt or sweatshirt?  But I turned it down.  Another time, I went into a clothing store on a rainy day, as I waited for my Tesla to charge.  I saw a white tee shirt that simply said the French word for yes “Oui.”  I wanted it.  I love simple tee shirts to wear for a season that goes with everything, but I knew buying this would be a slippery slope.  If I made an excuse to purchase this, I would make an excuse to purchase other things.  And I stuck to my goal. 

            Now it’s cloudy day in April, and as I walked Bella this morning along the seaside before the rain sprinkled, wearing my Dubai hat and an Mtv vintaged style tee shirt from Spain, yoga pants and socks from the UK, and my New Balances from America, I thought I love the clothes I do have.  They tell stories about me , where I’ve come from, who I was, and who I am.  If I allow myself the space of not adding more to my closet but simply using it, I can find joy in that which already exists in there.  It’s a different type of appreciation I didn’t expect.  It’s true that when we buy new items of clothing we want to “premiere” them and show them off, but when there are things that are loved that are rotated in and out, it brings a smile to my face.

            There are other goals I am shooting to accomplish, but for some reason this one has been prominent and a priority. And it’s tangible.  There are values I am living by which include, spending time with my dog Bella, my family, and friends. I’ve been reading more than expected, which includes physical books and audio books. Sharing what is learned, going to conferences that expand my mind.  But this small going of not buying clothes or shoes for one year is proving to be more fruitful than imagined.  I am not adding anything to my life, or subtracting.  I am maintaining, appreciating, and expanding. 

What Are You Going To Do?

19 Feb 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

View at Medium.com

I’ve been in Southern California for nearly three weeks, a place I have lived for seven years of my adult life.  My purpose here hasn’t been to site see but to help a person post surgery recover.  Many friends have been asking the following: 

How have you been spending your time?  

Where have you been going? 

What have you been eating?  

What have you been doing?  

And I think my answer surprises them.

I haven’t been doing much, except being available for this person.  I walk the dog twice a day, up and down the hilly streets of Los Angeles.  I do my morning spiritual practice of meditation, writing, breathing exercises and yoga.  I sit in the sun.  I read a little, write a little, play my new monochord a little.  We’ve been catching up on Netflix shows.  I’ve been meeting with friends I haven’t seen for years for coffee or meals.  But that is it.  And I’m satisfied.  I don’t actually have to “do anything.”  I’m content. 

Many people have said I should go to this restaurant, or this store, or that area of Los Angeles.  But I’ve lived here before, have lived in England for the past 8 ½ years, and now I live in Paris.  What I need most in the winter is the sun and simplicity.  I have mostly been limiting myself to the confines of where I am residing.  This includes the exciting festivities of walking to a local café, farmer’s market, and 99 cent store.  It surprisingly is enough.  I do not need more of anything to fill my days.  I’ve been grateful for my friends who have met me where I am staying, as I’ve been minimizing my drive as much as possible.

I have been finding pleasure in the simplicity of routine, the sun, my practices, and the strolls each day. In one of my virtual yoga classes this past week on the app Glo, a teacher Stephanie Snyder shared some bits of wisdom: “Remember you are here to influence the world, not to be influenced by it.” I do not need to find entertainment.   Each moment has been entertaining enough.  Being alive, having sun, my daily discipline, and loved ones have been enough.  And I feel satisfied.