Old Shoes

16 Jul 2025 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

My teal Birkenstocks have been broken in the past 2 years.  I purchased them in Europe, and gently wore them back and forth during my time in Spain.  But they helped me transitioned as I returned to my California beach life, after ten years abroad.  I molded them to fit my feet as I walked my 16 year old Bella daily, whether on a promenade that surrounded a harbor, to the neighborhood of Silverlake when visiting my brother, or to the beginning of the beach’s edge.

They are comfortable to wear in all types of terrain, with rubber bottoms that keep you from sliding.  When I did my beach walks,  I had them remain on my feet until they hit the sand, which they were then popped into a canvas bag.  My dog and I walked barefoot in the sand and the ocean, until her paws grew tired and I would carry her for the remainder of our long walks.  These teal birkenstocks were my comfort shoes.  I always have a pair of birkenstocks that turn into these steady companions.  As time progresses,  they lose their new sheen, become discolored with the excessive use, and simply are my errand shoes.

            These teal Birkenstocks remained with me, after I had to put Bella to sleep, and I would attempt to return to the beach to do the walks without her.  Grief accompanied me, but so did these shoes.  They were there as I relocated to my new home, another beach town, supporting me to feel the sand a hundred miles north of where I was living.   They brought me consistency and stability, until they no longer did. 

            And now the shoes are almost too comfortable and exacerbate a soreness in my foot that doesn’t exist when I wear other shoes.  It’s as if these old shoes carry the old pain with me.  And I have a realization, its time to let go.  For to continue wearing these shoes, will only further hurt my feet.  When I looked at the bottoms, they are starting to lose their traction, perhaps allowing a slip to occur.  And I realize the more I hold onto and wear these shoes, its keeping me from wearing all the shoes in my closet waiting to have experiences. And so with that, I say thank you to the teal birkenstocks. And slip my feet into a pair of pink Havana slide ons to geret the afternoon ocean. Let’s see what is next in store.

The Irony of Things

19 Jun 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” -Will Rogers, 1879.

            We spend so much of our lives acquiring things.  Part of being in capitalistic society, is we are brought up to believe that we should want the most beautiful house in the established neighborhood, in the city you want to live in, with a car that can take you to and from the hottest restaurants and shows. We buy bespoke belongings to fill our new homes, purses, jackets, and clothes to embody the style we wish to portray the world. And then something shifts.

            There is a point reached in our lives, where this starts to reverse.  We realize that our death is inevitable.  Some people die with all of their things, and their children or loved ones must begin to sort through it all.  I have heard stories from people close to me, who lost their parents, and now was left with the responsibility to sort and rid of the belongings in a home, and then eventually sell the home.  A burden is placed on others, and what was once sentimental is now trash. 

            Yet some are opting to explore this world of minimalism, prior to retirement.  How can we live more with less while we are alive?  It’s interesting, I am observing my mother as she is making plans with her husband to return to the Philippines in the next 3-5 years.  She is someone who is a bit of a luxury goods hoarder, a shopaholic that doesn’t know how to stop.  And now she is facing the reality that she must start to downsize. Sell those expensive purse collection she has been building to bring into the reality the life she truly wants. 

            There’s an irony that we spend so much of our lives in accumulation and building the tangible objects we own.  Then a point in life is reached, where the dial is switched and we begin to rid ourselves that of which was accumulated.  I couldn’t help but think, “Wouldn’t it have been easier to not go through this consumerism only to move towards minimalism?”  The process of desiring more and more leads us to remain in jobs that do not bring us joy or purpose, only to pay off that which exists in our homes. But maybe this is the learning experience we are meant to have in this lifetime. We are meant to discern what is most valuable to us, versus being sold and living in alignment to what society says we should want. So much of life is the unlearning of this all.

            “Simplify your closet by eliminating these 33 annoying things,” this was the title of an email I received this week by Courtney Carver author of Project 333.  For 3 months she chose to wear only 33 items in her closet, many people have embraced this project in their own lives.  But instead this email encouraged people to get rid of 33 things.  Self projects like this challenge us to see what is necessary in our lives.  It’s not just letting go of things, but not replacing them.  At the same time, its leaving space for opportunities, ideas, or simply a sense of openness to emerge.  I encourage each of us to look into our homes, and simply see what is truly needed, what can be discarded or donated, and notice what arises.  Rinse and repeat!

Quarterly Goal Check In

13 Apr 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

            The first quarter of the year has completed, and one of the goals I kept is not buying any clothing, shoes, or accessories for the entire year.  And somehow so far I have kept this up!  Has it been difficult?  Initially, yes.  In January, I went to the visiting art exhibit Luna Luna, which was a display of carnival art pieces from the likes of Keith Haring, Salvador Dali, Jean Michel Basquiat.  Of course, I wanted something to remember this exhibit by or prove I was there, and what better way to do this than a tee shirt or sweatshirt?  But I turned it down.  Another time, I went into a clothing store on a rainy day, as I waited for my Tesla to charge.  I saw a white tee shirt that simply said the French word for yes “Oui.”  I wanted it.  I love simple tee shirts to wear for a season that goes with everything, but I knew buying this would be a slippery slope.  If I made an excuse to purchase this, I would make an excuse to purchase other things.  And I stuck to my goal. 

            Now it’s cloudy day in April, and as I walked Bella this morning along the seaside before the rain sprinkled, wearing my Dubai hat and an Mtv vintaged style tee shirt from Spain, yoga pants and socks from the UK, and my New Balances from America, I thought I love the clothes I do have.  They tell stories about me , where I’ve come from, who I was, and who I am.  If I allow myself the space of not adding more to my closet but simply using it, I can find joy in that which already exists in there.  It’s a different type of appreciation I didn’t expect.  It’s true that when we buy new items of clothing we want to “premiere” them and show them off, but when there are things that are loved that are rotated in and out, it brings a smile to my face.

            There are other goals I am shooting to accomplish, but for some reason this one has been prominent and a priority. And it’s tangible.  There are values I am living by which include, spending time with my dog Bella, my family, and friends. I’ve been reading more than expected, which includes physical books and audio books. Sharing what is learned, going to conferences that expand my mind.  But this small going of not buying clothes or shoes for one year is proving to be more fruitful than imagined.  I am not adding anything to my life, or subtracting.  I am maintaining, appreciating, and expanding. 

Clothing Challenge

10 Jan 2024 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , ,

“There are two ways to be rich: One is by acquiring much, and the other is by desiring little.” -Jackie French Koller

As the new year began, my friend Isabella said one of her New Year Resolutions was to not buy clothes, shoes, or accessories for one year.  I quickly decided to make this pact and make this one of my resolutions.  It was something I was going towards anyways, buy less, use what you love.

But how quickly we forget about this, and can mindlessly buy things when we are bored, when there’s a sale, when we want to change an aspect of ourselves, numb out, or even to feel a certain way.  But a new challenge has arisen.  Can we find that inspiration with what is already existing in your closet? This is the challenge.

Over the years, I have really gotten rid of so many things.  Now that I have moved back to America and reunited with all of my belongings that were in storage, I am reminded of the hold me that has existed. Does the old me equate with the new me? This is the question.  And now that I am in a new job and must go into an office, I am realizing I have less plain shirts than I realize. My clothes are on repeat.  But this is okay.

You want to wear what you love. You want to wear what sparks joy.  But it’s an opportunity to have one year to take stock on what exists in that closet. And see what one can combine, create, and surprise yourself. Perhaps new styles will arise, combinations added together that can ignite a new you.  Are you up for the challenge?

Perpetual Decluttering

09 Oct 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

“Clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions.” ― Barbara Hemphill

Over the past several years I have gone through a constant process of decluttering.  Last year it culminated in me getting rid of 1000 items in one year.  That was everything from pens to a wedding dress.  I was moving from a four floor house in the UK to an apartment in Paris that was less than 300 square feet.  This year I stopped calculating.  I knew I could not keep excessive items, because there literally was no space for them.  But today I gave away several items, and I felt a tiny sting.

One of these items was a backpack, which I have worn the past two years on the Camino de Santiago.  These were walking pilgrimages that lasted for days.  It held significance for me, and I would have kept that backpack for longer, but it began to fall apart.  I also gave away a tank top, which I wore on many first dates this past year.  It was a flattering color, but I admit it has seen better days.  I parted with a light sweater which brought warmth on numerous trips. 

I realize for me decluttering is an ongoing cleansing I must do.  Certain items are easy for me to get rid of, but others I have been putting off.  I want to keep these items until they must be disposed of.  But I can’t help but wonder why.  Why am I waiting till these items are in torn conditions?  Don’t I deserve more than this?  I am not struggling.  I have more items to utilize.  These items do not have to last forever, so why do I wait until they are totally worn to release them?  I wonder “What does that say about me and how I value myself?” 

How am I trying to show my value and worth to the world if I continue to wear these clothes to the ground?  If I keep everything, there is no space to let in new experiences.  Having these thoughts, I wanted to make a different choice. And with that I let them go.  

“Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.” ― Eleanor Brownn

me, my bookbag, and my friend Isabella on the camino

Small Home Treasures

09 Mar 2022 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

         “Tiny houses empower you to more specifically choose how you want to live.”-Ethan Waldman

         Anyone close to me could tell you, I am not much of a detail-oriented person.  I see the big picture, but not all the little pieces.  Yet with living in a small home, there is not much space to roam.  One cannot help but see the nuances that arise. 

         I can notice when new dust settles into a certain area, and for some reason I take more pride in ridding that dust.  Even though I have no current visitors to my 290 square foot apartment, it’s important that it stays as clean as possible.  There is not much space for excess food, toiletries, or clothes.  All that is within these four walls must have a purpose.  I do not buy more than I need, because there is nowhere to store this.  This must be a combination of tiny home living and not living in America, where I can feel compelled to buy all shiny objects that are within my sight.  

         I’m learning the difference of want and need.

I also have been home more to recognize how the atmosphere of the room shifts throughout a twenty-four hour period.  When I first moved here, it was dark until 800 am, but now the sun seems to rise closer to 700.  My two dogs and I notice how the minutes of daylight have extended.  Puzo and Bella shift their bodies with the sunlight, almost as if their torsos are hands of a sundial.  I have made makeshift dog beds for them to pivot towards the rays, tanning as tourists do on a summer holiday.

Could I use more space? Oui.

Do I need more space to make me more happy? Not necessarily.  

There is a sense of contentedness here.  I have time.  I have all that I need.  I take pride in what I do own.  And I can simply be, as I also shift my body towards the sun with my dogs.