Old Shoes

Walking on Sunset Boulevard in Silverlake with a group of friends on Saturday, a stranger approached me and said “you need new shoes.”  I was surprised at her comment.  We had just finished a delightful meal at a local Thai establishment, after sharing our updated goals for the year and ways we would be accountable to each other.  I opted to wear a pair of white sandals that were made by Minnesota Moccasin company, that had turquoise embellishments.  These were sandals I loved in theory but I wasn’t ready to let go of them.  I wanted to “wear them to the ground,” to know I got the full use out of them.

            “They are not fitting right on you.  You need new shoes.  I need new shoes too.”  My friends looked at her with a sense of curiosity in their faces, as she walked by.  All were wondering was she was trying to sell me shoes?  This was Sunset Boulevard after all.  As she strolled by us, another woman began stating out loud with her dog “We are on Sunset on a Saturday night.” Was she livestreaming on a social media site?  Nope, she was just in the midst of a psychotic episode.  

As we reflected on both of these two women juxtaposed to each other, we walked up a little hill.   A helicopter circled around us.  My friend opened up her neighbor app, which stated an armed individual was nearby.  We didn’t know what to do, keep walking, try to hide?  “Another night in Los Angeles,” one of my friends shared.   Was this a regular night?  A stranger telling you to get new shoes, a psychotic woman, a helicopter police chase, armed gunmen, and processing goals for one’s life with friends at a delicious restaurant.  Perhaps it was a typical day. It was a mixture of wonder, appreciation, fear, confusion, and joy.  This is life in today’s world, and it was playing out in our small atmosphere.

            “You need new shoes.”  Despite all that happened, this was the comment that stayed with me for the rest of the weekend.  Perhaps this woman was right.  Why was I holding onto old shoes trying to get the most use out of them? The fact was the more I used these particular shoes, the less I could use all the other shoes in my closet.  I had more than enough shoes, I didn’t need new ones, I just needed to get rid of these.  And so later in the week, I did just that.  I not only got rid of this particular pair of shoes, but three other ones that were waiting to be given away.  I did it with pleasure, as I offered up space for me to see what I actually own and take joy in using my other belongings.

            This stranger’s comment served as a current lesson in my life.  How often do we take wisdom from strangers or a passerby’s comments?  There are textures to conversations, interpretations we can make from metaphorical statements.  I wasn’t just getting rid of shoes, I was getting rid of that which I have overgrown and that which doesn’t serve me.  I was creating space in my life to welcome in the beauty that already exists.

The Irony of Things

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” -Will Rogers, 1879.

            We spend so much of our lives acquiring things.  Part of being in capitalistic society, is we are brought up to believe that we should want the most beautiful house in the established neighborhood, in the city you want to live in, with a car that can take you to and from the hottest restaurants and shows. We buy bespoke belongings to fill our new homes, purses, jackets, and clothes to embody the style we wish to portray the world. And then something shifts.

            There is a point reached in our lives, where this starts to reverse.  We realize that our death is inevitable.  Some people die with all of their things, and their children or loved ones must begin to sort through it all.  I have heard stories from people close to me, who lost their parents, and now was left with the responsibility to sort and rid of the belongings in a home, and then eventually sell the home.  A burden is placed on others, and what was once sentimental is now trash. 

            Yet some are opting to explore this world of minimalism, prior to retirement.  How can we live more with less while we are alive?  It’s interesting, I am observing my mother as she is making plans with her husband to return to the Philippines in the next 3-5 years.  She is someone who is a bit of a luxury goods hoarder, a shopaholic that doesn’t know how to stop.  And now she is facing the reality that she must start to downsize. Sell those expensive purse collection she has been building to bring into the reality the life she truly wants. 

            There’s an irony that we spend so much of our lives in accumulation and building the tangible objects we own.  Then a point in life is reached, where the dial is switched and we begin to rid ourselves that of which was accumulated.  I couldn’t help but think, “Wouldn’t it have been easier to not go through this consumerism only to move towards minimalism?”  The process of desiring more and more leads us to remain in jobs that do not bring us joy or purpose, only to pay off that which exists in our homes. But maybe this is the learning experience we are meant to have in this lifetime. We are meant to discern what is most valuable to us, versus being sold and living in alignment to what society says we should want. So much of life is the unlearning of this all.

            “Simplify your closet by eliminating these 33 annoying things,” this was the title of an email I received this week by Courtney Carver author of Project 333.  For 3 months she chose to wear only 33 items in her closet, many people have embraced this project in their own lives.  But instead this email encouraged people to get rid of 33 things.  Self projects like this challenge us to see what is necessary in our lives.  It’s not just letting go of things, but not replacing them.  At the same time, its leaving space for opportunities, ideas, or simply a sense of openness to emerge.  I encourage each of us to look into our homes, and simply see what is truly needed, what can be discarded or donated, and notice what arises.  Rinse and repeat!

Perpetual Decluttering

“Clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions.” ― Barbara Hemphill

Over the past several years I have gone through a constant process of decluttering.  Last year it culminated in me getting rid of 1000 items in one year.  That was everything from pens to a wedding dress.  I was moving from a four floor house in the UK to an apartment in Paris that was less than 300 square feet.  This year I stopped calculating.  I knew I could not keep excessive items, because there literally was no space for them.  But today I gave away several items, and I felt a tiny sting.

One of these items was a backpack, which I have worn the past two years on the Camino de Santiago.  These were walking pilgrimages that lasted for days.  It held significance for me, and I would have kept that backpack for longer, but it began to fall apart.  I also gave away a tank top, which I wore on many first dates this past year.  It was a flattering color, but I admit it has seen better days.  I parted with a light sweater which brought warmth on numerous trips. 

I realize for me decluttering is an ongoing cleansing I must do.  Certain items are easy for me to get rid of, but others I have been putting off.  I want to keep these items until they must be disposed of.  But I can’t help but wonder why.  Why am I waiting till these items are in torn conditions?  Don’t I deserve more than this?  I am not struggling.  I have more items to utilize.  These items do not have to last forever, so why do I wait until they are totally worn to release them?  I wonder “What does that say about me and how I value myself?” 

How am I trying to show my value and worth to the world if I continue to wear these clothes to the ground?  If I keep everything, there is no space to let in new experiences.  Having these thoughts, I wanted to make a different choice. And with that I let them go.  

“Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.” ― Eleanor Brownn

me, my bookbag, and my friend Isabella on the camino