La La Lampedusa

30 Jul 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

And I could finally let out a sigh.

It was as if I ate a large meal, and could unbutton the first part of my jeans and breathe again.

This is what I felt when I walked the streets of Lampedusa.  It was a hectic busy 24 hours flying from Malaga to Naples, going to Pompeii, and flying to Lampedusa. The day was filled with a bit of anxiety, travel stress, and tons of stress.  I think my body was on guard and tense due to my strict timelines, the heat, and the awareness of the fact that I could not get too comfortable because I would have to move to the next location.  I had not arrived yet.  But now walking the quiet “main street” of town, I could relax.  I didn’t even need to go to the beach yet to feel the chill vibes. 

There was a tranquility here. The restaurants placed chairs on the center of the road and closed off the street for the night to begin.  Store workers sat in plastic chairs as tourists walked by.  Elderly locals looked over their balconies to observe the newest people to visit their island.  These photos capture peaceful moments in this Italian Island, which was once considered a Tunisian territory.

It’s a place I don’t know much about.  As I tried to youtube video clips, I couldn’t find much. I know Italians vacation here for their summer holidays.  But it’s also more well known for something else.  When I told a French guy I was coming here, he said “Lampedusa the place where all the migrants go?”  This is true, why most people are aware of this area is it is the location that many refugees try to escape to.  It’s a gateway to Europe, people from various parts of Africa voyage to Tunisia.  And from there the expedition continues.  As you are aware, not many people make it. 

This past spring, I decided to set the goal of joining TCC (Travel Century Club), to be part of this, I must visit 100 territories, and I want to do this before I turn 50.  Since I want to do this, and was flying to Naples already, why not go to Lampedusa? I also will San Marino, while I am at it.  So this is what I am doing.  Lampedusa marks the 65th territory I have visited. 

 I am staying in Lampedusa for five nights, and originally I thought this was excessive.  The island is only 7 miles long and 2 miles wide.  Would I go crazy, could I fly to Tunisia and check off another territory?  But now that I am here, my soul is grateful for what has been planned out before me.  

I have time to wind down, write, read, and catch up with myself.  The slow pace of the locals and the fact that there are minimal tours here, allows me to wander or simply swim in the sea.  I could allow myself to simply be, and I wasn’t aware that this is what I was longing for.  Even though I am not currently working, I was attending Spanish classes for one month, and was in the midst of applying to jobs in America and going through loads of interviews.  I also am taking a mythology class, which I love and was deep in reading the suggested literature.  So overall, I was “busy.”  It was a busy-ness of choice yes, and not of necessity, but it was still busy. 

As I walk the main street, I note the muted spring colors. Things are not as vibrant as the electricity in hues of Miami or the blue white tranquility of Santorini.  There’s a sense of humbleness, in the toned down colors of the building.  They are not trying to be anything spectacular or Instagram worthy, they just are.  In some ways this a beach Mediterranean island which would be featured in a Wes Anderson film.  There are characters that exist here: in the locals that never left the island, the refugees that have fled here, and the vacationers they serve.  I’m not sure what the storyline is yet, and maybe it would be a film of an everyday life on this quiet picturesque place, which has yet to been bombarded by excessive crowds.  

The days pass, and I note the same people on the street.  They notice me and wave.  There’s the older sailor man who sails spices, the family who opened a new restaurant serving fresh fish burgers, the Thai and Italian family selling gorgeous clothes, and the local elderly couple who probably own the hotel I am staying in who sit on the couch every afternoon to watch the guests.  

The slow pace has allowed me to linger.  I walked throughout much of the bottom half of the island, swam in numerous seas, laid on rocks in the style of Barbarella, and had time to write.  I appreciate that Lampedusa hasn’t gotten all the acclaim yet.  It’s as if I stepped back in time, and could find not just another culture but a more relaxed version of myself I have lost. 

All Part of the Journey

26 Jul 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

“Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” ~ Ray Bradbury

            I am about to embark on a pilgrimage for the Black Madonna in the Amalfi Coast.  This begins next week, but I thought I would embark on my trip a little earlier.  I flew into Naples and before catching a flight the next day to another city, I had some free time in the morning.  I squeezed in Pompeii.  I had been to Naples previously with my ex-husband who is Italian American.  Although we loved Italy, Naples wasn’t our favorite.  All I remember was grabbing pizza and staying in our hotel.  We didn’t want to venture onto the streets that appeared impoverished, full of trash, homeless, mafia, and crime.  Naples was a stopover on our way to go to the Amalfi Coast.  For this trip, I had originally planned the same itinerary.  Pizza and staying in my air conditioned hotel room.  

            I am a world solo traveller, and pride myself in this.  But I have to admit before going to Naples I had some anxiety.  This was because I had to leave my 14 year old chug Bella again.  I was grateful she was going to stay with friends, but their plans were delayed and to sort it out I had to rely on another friend to offer keys to my apartment and greet them.  I left four page instructions and stick it notes around the house to direct guide and answer any questions.  Yes, I may be an overprotective dog mom but wanted to offer the most for my pet and my friends who would be staying in my place.  Maybe the guilt for leaving was excessive, after my 15 year English Bulldog died last year the day after I returned from a trip.  But Bella is healthy and a wonderful host.  (Thank you in advance Mayra, Dave, and Lucy for helping with this!)

            Another worry that crept in was the potential crime that Naples had, was I going to stand out like a tourist and be targeted?  I was so lucky that an acquaintance Veronika was on my flight from Malaga to Naples.  I was staying close to the train station, and she said there was a lot of crime there.  Her warning for me was to watch my belongings because I had excess stuff.  I was travelling for 2 ½ weeks, and had only a carry on and a bag.  She was going to be in Italy for a month, and had only one backpack.  She even thought this was too much for her.  Veronika also encouraged me to “look both ways when crossing the street here, then look again.”  She had lived in the region before.  Although I am a world traveller, I was humble enough to welcome the advice.  All was welcome and needed.   She also was able to guide me to my hotel, as my phone and the new sim card was not currently working in the country. 

            Although I had an easy chill night upon arrival, after grabbing a pizza (in the city that invented pizza), I opted to push the boundaries and go to Pompeii in my spare morning hours the next day.   I was so grateful I did, to observe with wonder the vastness of this city, the impact of destruction, and the remnants that highlight the luxury of past residents.  But it was hot!  July in Southern Italy is full of intense sun and heat, but I was prepared with my layers of sunblock, sunglasses, a hat, loads of water, and an abanico.  

            The entire day I was dripping with sweat, as one can witness in this photo.  It looks like I am glistening.  It started off to me glistening and transitioned to a ghastly site.  I was living in my sweat throughout my exploration of the grounds of Pompeii, the ride back to Naples in a non-air conditioned crowded train, walk to my hotel and the bus stop.  As I stood on the bus ride to the airport, crammed next to other travellers, sweat dripped into my eyes.  I was dripping with sweat on every part of my body.  It seemed as if others were not quite as soaked as I was, but they probably didn’t rush through Pompeii.  I expected to be this hot and disgusting when walking the Camino and wearing hiking gear, but travelling in a city I wasn’t prepared for that.  I was glad I was not travelling with anyone, because I am sure we would have been irritable and complaining. I stayed silent and focused on the current task at hand.  

            There was a mantra I repeated to myself throughout the day “this is part of the journey.”  This week leading up to the pilgrimage, was the pilgrimage.  The pilgrimage does not begin when I meet with the group, it began when I left my home.  The insanity of Naples, the ups and downs, the fears, the joys, the assistance from friends, the sweat, the delicious pizza, the observation of gorgeous antiquities or sacred geometry floors was all part of it. 

            Pilgrimage and some forms of travel are not for the faint of heart.  It requires grit and persistence to embark on such a thing.  To be a tourist, is to glide from one air conditioned vehicle to another, stay in an air conditioned hotel, be escorted to safe locations, skip the ugly façade of cities, minimize walking and public transportation, have tasty elaborate meals, and witness only the beauty of cities.  This is what you pay for.  It’s a luxury and it is why retirees vacation like this.  They deserve it.  There is nothing wrong with this, and at a certain age I would only want to walk through the world in this way.  But for now, I am reasonably young, healthy, and have an overall positive mindset.  I can handle the fluctuations of a journey.  I know the struggles can only enrich the story.  And so far there have been no “bad” parts, just really uncomfortable.  

            I have such appreciation for the kindness of my travel guides and friends who assisted (and continue to assist) along this journey.  I value the wanderluster in me who opted this time to get out of my Naples hotel room and head to Pompeii to walk through the ruins.  There’s such gratitude for being safe, interacting with friendly people, and having the luxury of time to do this.  Whenever you may be going through difficulties in your travels, after getting out a little complaining, pause and reframe.  It’s all part of the journey.  

Being a Creative Vs. Living Creatively

20 Jul 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

“Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.” Edgar Degas 

I’m a trained creativity coach, I help people with their creative projects in meeting their deadlines, offering accountability, or just have it be part of their daily lives again. Even though I view my life as creative, I sometimes have difficulty viewing myself as a creative.  

            Although I journal daily, does that make me a writer?  I’ve written one book, numerous blogs, been featured in articles, have a literary agent, and had an article published in the Washington Post this year.  Even after all this, it’s been difficult to call myself a writer.  But I finally do. 

            But there are other forms of creativity I dabble in, but I do not think much of them.  I have a dslr camera I barely use, but I do take numerous photos on my phone.  Last year, I even won a photography contest with the school where I was taking French classes. I won two tickets to a film screening of the Champs Elysees Film Festival. Yet, I minimized it, because the subject in front of me was stunning.

            My brother is more of the photographer, with the expensive camera, an eye for detail, editing, and redefining his work.  He talks theory of art when framing a photo.  While I value this, the advice doesn’t stay in my head, when I want to quickly snap a shot.  

            Regardless of this, I sometimes still enter a competition here or there.  Few, but for the fun of it.  Yesterday I received word that although I didn’t win the contest, one of my photographs will be on public display in Malaga for one month.  This is two competitions I have entered and been recognized, and perhaps I can finally start to call myself an artist, a creative.

            So often we think we need permission or validation to give ourself a title, but why?  We can give that to ourselves, regardless of what another thinks.  I’ve met people who introduce themselves with their side hustle versus what they do that pays the bills. They are leaning into their new reality, by creating a new narrative.  Perhaps I can do that too.

            Or I can follow the advice of Mark Nepo

“I started out wanting to write great poems, then wanting to discover true poems. Now, I want to be the poem.”— Mark Nepo

            And so I offer those words of advice to you this week.  Instead of trying to be an identity or label, be the essence versus the product. Be the verb.  Live into that which you are longing to be called.  Joy and delight is found in the being versus completing.

Always More To See

09 Jul 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

 WE TRAVEL NOT TO ESCAPE LIFE, BUT FOR LIFE NOT TO ESCAPE US. – ANONYMOUS

There’s a realization recently that my time in Europe may come to an end this year.  I’ve been living overseas for 10 years, 8 ½ in England, 1 in France, and ½ in Spain.  And the inevitable finality of it makes me realize there are things I want to do before I leave.

Immediate bucket lists came in my head:

-A trip to Zurich so I can squeeze in Lichtenstein

-An all out trip to the UAE (and touchdown on 8 territories)

-Flying to Athens so I can pilgrimage to where the Oracle of Delphi was, and hit up two other territories of Cyprus I haven’t been to. 

-Go to Northern Ireland and then explore Jersey

-What about Tunisia and Corsica? 

As an aspiring future member of the Travel Century Club, I want to hit up as many countries as possible.  But there is a realization that all may not be feasible, at least with the remaining moments to have.  I still have friends visiting and a trip planned in several weeks to Italy to explore Lampedusa and San Marino.  

Breathe Tricia.

It’s okay to still have places you want to go or return to in the European vicinity.  You don’t have to do it all now.  I can always come back.  It’s okay if I don’t see everything right now.  Perhaps it’s best to leave when you still desire more. 

Years ago I had a conversation with a fellow psychologist from Ireland at an Adlerian conference in Malta.  At the time, I was in my 20s, she was a decade older than me.  She offered me this advice, “These countries will always be here.  My goal is to travel to one country each year.  If I live until my 80s, that’s still 50 countries.”  This older and wiser woman told me this as I was backpacking Europe, and had visited 15 countries in one summer. It was overwhelming, but exhilarating.

At times like this, when I feel my time in scarce, I need to remind myself that one’s life can be abundant.  I have time.   Why rush when I can luxuriate in the time that remains?

I am unclear of the exact amount of time I have left.  If I can only do Zurich, it’s not just to check off Lichtenstein.  But with research, I have found that closeby I can visit the home of psychoanalyst Carl Jung.  I can pilgrimage to another Black Madonna that is one hour from Zurich, that Jung had written about.  I could have a leisurely lunch in Lucerne. 

I will make most of the time in Europe and will live experiences versus simply checking boxes off a list.  I hope wherever you are reading this, you can experience some time affluence with your summer. 

Back to Spanish Class

26 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

“Change your language and you change your thoughts.”
Karl Albrecht

            Last week I enrolled in a month long intensive Spanish course.  Although I have officially moved here nearly six months ago, I have put this off.  While in Paris last year, I took three months of French, and it made me cringe.  I hated starting from scratch, pronouncing everything all wrong, and be corrected constantly.  I didn’t think I would need Spanish here, but I have recognized and accepted that my Spanish was more of a tourist Spanish.   Additionally, Andalucians seem to sometimes speak a different language, with shortening the words or have nicknames for things that did not make sense.  Who knew that mala leche (which is translated to bad milk) equates with having a day where you are pissed off and angry?  If I wanted to improve, it required an intensive.  To commit to this was to commit to a part time job, twenty hours a week, Monday through Friday for four weeks.  But now I could do it.

            And I was pleasantly surprised. 

            It was actually somewhat enjoyable.  I had taken Spanish class in high school, college, and did an immersion in graduate school.  As we went around the room, verbalizing our background with Espanol, I realized it has been over twenty years since I had taken Spanish (Duolingo doesn’t count).  I could have compassion for myself with forgetting some things along the way. 

In the classroom, sat next to me a 14 year old Bosnian girl, living in Sweden. She showed me texts from her boyfriend and teacher, gossiping about her life as if we knew each other for years.  She guessed me to be in my 20s, when I shared I was in 40s, she was stunned. And I was flattered.  The class size generally stayed around 8 people, from other countries such as Morocco, Netherlands, England, and Italy.  Although we were collectively learning Spanish, we were learning about each other.  Our conversational skills were put to the test as we shared our background information, occupation, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and family dynamics.  “Me llamo Tricia.  Me gusta caminar con mi amigo.  Soy americana, pero ahora vivo en Malaga por seis meses…”  This was repeated throughout the week, because with four hour long sessions, the teachers rotated in and out.  We could practice hearing different accents, dialects, and experience various teaching styles. 

            But all were pleasant.  Yes we were corrected at times, but it was with encouragement.  For some reason, my experience with learning the French language is it was tiresome and draining, it probably didn’t help that we wore masks for most of the sessions.  I recall practicing my Spanish with a local here several months ago, who was training to be a language teacher.  He laughed when I pronounced various words, and therefore it shut me down.  Why open oneself to ridicule in the hopes of improving?  A warm encouraging environment is so necessary to offer padding to those learning something new.  If you fall, it’s not so bad.  You are then willing to try again, criticism didn’t knock you down.  At least for me, this is my preferred learning style.  

            And so I am ready to enter week 2 of classes, with more energy, less cringe, and curiosity of what will be revealed next.   As I write this, I am full of appreciation for the teachers out there who have the kind patience in working with their students, and for all students out their who have self-compassion as they learn something new.

World Citizen

18 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world

– Socrates

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend about the concept of globalization.  National Geographic defines this as “increasing connectedness and interdependence of world cultures and economies.”  And I would agree, to some extent the world is getting smaller. Post pandemic, all is possible and accessible.   We are connected in this technological fast paced world.  

My recent travels to places such as Bulgaria, Serbia, North Macedona, and Gibraltar reminded me of this concept of globalization.  Many of these countries, I didn’t dream of visiting.  In my youth, I knew I would visit France, England, and Spain, but the Balkans were not on my list.  And yet I was here.  For some reason, I thought I would be one of the few tourists that travelled to this land.  I knew of only a tiny number of friends or family who have visited here.  But what surprised me were there were not only tons of tourists, but also digital nomads.  Our boundaries to where we travel now as Westerners have expanded.  I was particularly surprised by hearing so many American accents.  The Cyrillic language was made easy and translated into English in the city centers for access of non-locals.  Cafes were cutesy and instagrammable.  We don’t have to travel only to Paris to linger in a cute café, we can hop over to Skopje.    

         One evening in Sofia, we shared a dinner with two Italians that were colleagues and were living in Bulgaria.  We decided to sit at one table together, because the strict hostess at a local restaurant would not seat either of our parties of two.  Our attempt earlier that day to get reservations failed.  There were no two tables of two.  But now we could be a party of four, and so we sat with strangers.  When we walked to our table our new friend said, “it’s destiny,” I knew it was meant to be.  She was speaking my universal language of synchronicty and magic.  This woman had already lived in Serbia, Romania, and now Bulgaria.  She was in the textile industry and due to lack of jobs in her country, she sought work in the Balkans.  The European borders were open to her and she was immersed in it for years.  

Several days before this we had a server and consultant at this Creperie in Sofia.  He was Bulgarian, but lived twenty years in America.  We spoke of everything from Yogananda, consumerism, over working, yearning for peacefulness, to modern dating.  As we talked with him for two hours, I realized I had probably more similarities with him than I had with people in my hometown that never left.  

         This past week in Malaga, I hosted an event with Girls Gone International. We were a group of less than ten women, but all of us were from different location.  We were from America, Ukraine, Prague, New Zealand, England, and Australia.  All of us were living in Spain now, but have lived around the world.  The border lines between countries are becoming fainter.  We are more connected than we think. 

         And what I find is that I can connect with the people who have left their hometown to live and venture to other lands.  One has to know there are other ways to live in the world.  We limit ourselves when we think our town is the best one in all the lands and there is no other way to experience the world.  This is small town mentality, whether you are from Massillon Ohio or Malaga Spain.  There are other landscapes to see, exotic food to taste, fascinating people to meet.  You can return home, and have a base but know there is more out there.  The more we travel, we see that we are more the same than different.  There is not one way to be, but simply a way of living we have been born into and socialized to conform to.  

         I would love to offer you the gift of travel.  And it’s not just to see the landmarks that our favorite authors write about or visiting locations we have seen depicted in movies.  It’s not to consume the luxuries of the most exotic spices and textiles.  It’s the experience of interacting with others, and the breaking down of barriers that have been built up in our heads.  Globalization is normalization.  It’s validation of our connection and a reminder we are one.

Space Needed For Integration

05 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

         For the past several weeks, I have been travelling non-stop.  It was an intentional trip to my homeland to see friends, attend an energy psychology training, and take care of some personal things.  As usual, it was full.  I visited 5 states in less than three weeks.  Every moment went as well as planned, but it felt as if I was checking things off a list to ensure the process ran smoothly.  Moments of downtime were embraced, as there was few that existed along the way.  

         And this is one of them.  Arrival at the airport.  After checking in, going through security, the bathroom, and having a special treat.  I no longer feel the sweat from the hurried rush of going from one point to another.  My breath has slowed down as I sit at my gate.  I can relax.  Although I am surrounded by others, I am briefly alone.  There’s still so much to process of what has occurred, but simultaneously it is prepping for what is next. I will only have one day in my new home of Malaga, before a several day excursion to another land. Therefore each moment of free time is freedom.  

         I am reminded how often we travel like this.  If we have a regular “job,” we may have limited vacation days.  We fit in so much, that there is little time to integrate.  And this is necessary to see, appreciate, and re-live in the beauty of the trip you just took. 

         Parallel to this, I recently attended a sound healing workshop, where infamous sound healer Jonathan Goldman shared several of his secrets to sound healing.  One was the value of silence.  Silence is where the healing occurs.  Goldman stated “silence is the yin to sound’s yang.”  He gave an example, that if we hum for five minutes, we must leave five minutes of silence for it to integrate into our bodies. We think sound is what heals, but it is sound linked with silence.  They need each other.

         And so as we gear up for our summer travel plans, it’s not just visiting a new land that is important.  It is also taking time after travel to process what occurs.  Perhaps you do this at then end of one’s trip, on arrival home, or journaling on a daily basis in one’s hotel room breaking up what is learned day by day.  

         What will be the yin to your yang? 

Returning to Your Homeland

22 May 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

         I am embarking on a several week trip to America.  It’s my first time going to the states since I moved to Spain, and probably the longest period I haven’t travelled anywhere since the pandemic.  Six months.  I can’t help but wonder, where is home?

         This summer marks ten years that I have lived outside of America, via the United Kingdom, France, and now Spain.  A new friend I met in Europe reminded me that “you are not American, you are a world citizen.”  At first, I wanted to disagree with him.  My upbringing was in America, I have an American accent, my family is there, I own a home there.  Of course I am American, a multiracial American.  But as I got on the plane in Lisbon today (my layover from Malaga), I am surrounded by American accents.  It’s awkward.  I feel I don’t fit in.  Do these people understand me?  Were they just on holiday, taking a dream vacation?  Or  are they like me just visiting America too?  This is my life.  Staff members and passport control are asking how long I have been in Europe.  I respond by pulling out my visa.  Perhaps I am a global citizen.  

         I realize maybe we don’t have to choose.  We are not one or the other.  We can be all.  My friend recently bought a home in Michigan.  We are from the Midwest, and I asked her will she give up her home in New York and totally move to this new home in Michigan.  She doesn’t know.   She too, also feels both are home: East Coast and the Midwest.  You don’t have to choose one or the other.  There is reality you can be both.  It reminds me of my racial identity.  Years ago, when growing up and taking standardized tests, I had to choose my race when filling out the form. I informed the teacher, I wasn’t just one answer.  But there was little cultural sensitivity at the time and in small time Ohio.  She forced me to choose one.  Do I choose how others define me?  Do I change the response each time, letting each parent be represented?  Do I opt out and not answer?  Why must we conform?  

         After ten years of living overseas, and for ten years prior to that living in various parts of America, I realize all parts are me.  An Ohio Cali Hawaiian Philly New York American citizen.  That is okay.  Do not allow others to define you. You have a choice in this.  I am returning to the country I was born in, but now I realize it’s part of me.  Not all of me. 

Our Beach Personalities

18 Mar 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

“At the beach, life is different. Time doesn’t move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun. “ – Sandy Gingras

I am lucky enough to currently live walking distance to the port and beach.  Bella and I go nearly everyday.  And one thing I love to do is watch people as they engage with the sun and beach.  The area I am in is the Costa del Sol, entitled this after an excessive amount of days of sun per year.  Due to the fact that the average is around 325 days of sun, there are many tourists, retirees, and transplants from colder countries during the winter months.  

I witness people first walk onto the port, seeing the Mediterranean and the sun on a winter day. They seem stunned by the beauty.  Selfies are taken.  People sit at the first restaurant at the port to take in the local musicians, and drink a sangria or cana.  Their shoulders relax.  People then continue their stroll down the port, and eventually head to the beach.

It’s here I observe the moment they have been waiting for.  Although the sea is too cold to swim in at the moment, some still do.  It’s normal to see children get excited when arriving at the beach, because this is what children do.  But oftentimes, the adults become childlike as well.  I noticed a woman who seemed so happy being here on a weekday, that she started to slow dance with the ocean.  I saw another woman playing tag with the ocean waves that came to shore, she was in jeans and tried to run away as they came close to her.  Of course the ocean won that round, as they generally win the majority of rounds.  But the other day I saw something that will be etched in my memory.

The weather was warm, it was in the 80s (or 25 plus celsius), therefore more people were in the water.  It was the first weekend, I was in a bikini.  This is how warm it is.   There was a man who looked like a local with his son, he seemed to have just gotten out of the water.  His son laid on a towel in the sand.  This man rolled in the sand like he was a sushi roll being wrapped.  He did it with joy.  With his arms up and showed his child how great he was feeling.  Generally the sand is something everyone I know avoids, but he embraced it.  He left it on for at least ten minutes, maybe it served as an exfoliator as one does in the Dead Sea or in the spas.  Eventually he took another dip in the Mediterranean and appeared refreshed.  This was actually a joy to witness. 

I’m sharing this on the blog because it made me smile.  It served as a reminder that I need to be present to find pleasure and appreciation in another’s joy.  I wouldn’t have witnessed it if I was on my phone, and no I wasn’t quick enough to capture it on camera.  But it’s etched in my mind.  I want to encourage you to be present each time you are outside, not only to be with all of nature, people, and animals that are around you, but to observe the little things in strangers around you.  Happiness is all around.

Observe Love

12 Mar 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

It’s a time of dating apps, where one can swipe right or left to determine your worth to them.  Love seems elusive.  It’s a time where people can unmatch or ghost you if you don’t fit their ideal in the moment.  One feels disposable.  Love is a condition so many of us strive for, but feels far from reach.  

And all we need to do to witness love is put down our phones and observe it.  This is a new practice I have been trying.  If I am striving for love and all the aspects of it, not just romantic, but also communal, friendship, familial, and universal, then I am practicing witnessing and being love.  It requires one’s presence.

Today, as I sat in a local town square to be in the sun with my dog, I was present.  I observed a woman crawling on her knees to move a cigarette butt so her baby wouldn’t grasp for it as he crawled the same park.  I saw a single father, pushing his slightly tween daughter on a makeshift swing.  I observed two friends catching up, as they were on holiday.  I saw how I shielded the eyes of my dog when a razor scooter zoomed by so her bark wouldn’t ruin the mood of the moment for those around me.  I interacted with a stranger as our dogs met, and although her dog was barking, she knew her pet was curious and only wanted to smell out my dog and greet it.  None of these people were on their phones.  They were present and patient.  And this is where I observe the lines repeated so often in weddings from the Corinthians: “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.”   

We don’t have to wait to hear those words to be read as people exchange their vows, to see them play into action.  It’s a reminder that love is more than one’s romantic partner.  Love is how we interact with other beings in the world.  Love does not have to be saved for special moments, it is possible in every moment.  So in a time of swiping, impatience, and greed, we can remind ourselves love still exists and is all around.  But it requires us to observe.  And when we can observe love wholeheartedly, there’s a contagion to that.  We want to pass it on.  Don’t pass on the bitterness, frustration, or stress.  Pass on the love in the little acts you engage in with those in your atmosphere.

Today take note of the love you witness.  Pass it on.

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries