Uncategorized | It Only Takes A Smile

All Part of the Journey

26 Jul 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #expat, #expatlife, #kindness, #travel, #wanderlust

“Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you’d drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.” ~ Ray Bradbury

I am about to embark on a pilgrimage for the Black Madonna in the Amalfi Coast. This begins next week, but I thought I would embark on my trip a little earlier. I flew into Naples and before catching a flight the next day to another city, I had some free time in the morning. I squeezed in Pompeii. I had been to Naples previously with my ex-husband who is Italian American. Although we loved Italy, Naples wasn’t our favorite. All I remember was grabbing pizza and staying in our hotel. We didn’t want to venture onto the streets that appeared impoverished, full of trash, homeless, mafia, and crime. Naples was a stopover on our way to go to the Amalfi Coast. For this trip, I had originally planned the same itinerary. Pizza and staying in my air conditioned hotel room.

I am a world solo traveller, and pride myself in this. But I have to admit before going to Naples I had some anxiety. This was because I had to leave my 14 year old chug Bella again. I was grateful she was going to stay with friends, but their plans were delayed and to sort it out I had to rely on another friend to offer keys to my apartment and greet them. I left four page instructions and stick it notes around the house to direct guide and answer any questions. Yes, I may be an overprotective dog mom but wanted to offer the most for my pet and my friends who would be staying in my place. Maybe the guilt for leaving was excessive, after my 15 year English Bulldog died last year the day after I returned from a trip. But Bella is healthy and a wonderful host. (Thank you in advance Mayra, Dave, and Lucy for helping with this!)

Another worry that crept in was the potential crime that Naples had, was I going to stand out like a tourist and be targeted? I was so lucky that an acquaintance Veronika was on my flight from Malaga to Naples. I was staying close to the train station, and she said there was a lot of crime there. Her warning for me was to watch my belongings because I had excess stuff. I was travelling for 2 ½ weeks, and had only a carry on and a bag. She was going to be in Italy for a month, and had only one backpack. She even thought this was too much for her. Veronika also encouraged me to “look both ways when crossing the street here, then look again.” She had lived in the region before. Although I am a world traveller, I was humble enough to welcome the advice. All was welcome and needed. She also was able to guide me to my hotel, as my phone and the new sim card was not currently working in the country.

Although I had an easy chill night upon arrival, after grabbing a pizza (in the city that invented pizza), I opted to push the boundaries and go to Pompeii in my spare morning hours the next day. I was so grateful I did, to observe with wonder the vastness of this city, the impact of destruction, and the remnants that highlight the luxury of past residents. But it was hot! July in Southern Italy is full of intense sun and heat, but I was prepared with my layers of sunblock, sunglasses, a hat, loads of water, and an abanico.

The entire day I was dripping with sweat, as one can witness in this photo. It looks like I am glistening. It started off to me glistening and transitioned to a ghastly site. I was living in my sweat throughout my exploration of the grounds of Pompeii, the ride back to Naples in a non-air conditioned crowded train, walk to my hotel and the bus stop. As I stood on the bus ride to the airport, crammed next to other travellers, sweat dripped into my eyes. I was dripping with sweat on every part of my body. It seemed as if others were not quite as soaked as I was, but they probably didn’t rush through Pompeii. I expected to be this hot and disgusting when walking the Camino and wearing hiking gear, but travelling in a city I wasn’t prepared for that. I was glad I was not travelling with anyone, because I am sure we would have been irritable and complaining. I stayed silent and focused on the current task at hand.

There was a mantra I repeated to myself throughout the day “this is part of the journey.” This week leading up to the pilgrimage, was the pilgrimage. The pilgrimage does not begin when I meet with the group, it began when I left my home. The insanity of Naples, the ups and downs, the fears, the joys, the assistance from friends, the sweat, the delicious pizza, the observation of gorgeous antiquities or sacred geometry floors was all part of it.

Pilgrimage and some forms of travel are not for the faint of heart. It requires grit and persistence to embark on such a thing. To be a tourist, is to glide from one air conditioned vehicle to another, stay in an air conditioned hotel, be escorted to safe locations, skip the ugly façade of cities, minimize walking and public transportation, have tasty elaborate meals, and witness only the beauty of cities. This is what you pay for. It’s a luxury and it is why retirees vacation like this. They deserve it. There is nothing wrong with this, and at a certain age I would only want to walk through the world in this way. But for now, I am reasonably young, healthy, and have an overall positive mindset. I can handle the fluctuations of a journey. I know the struggles can only enrich the story. And so far there have been no “bad” parts, just really uncomfortable.

I have such appreciation for the kindness of my travel guides and friends who assisted (and continue to assist) along this journey. I value the wanderluster in me who opted this time to get out of my Naples hotel room and head to Pompeii to walk through the ruins. There’s such gratitude for being safe, interacting with friendly people, and having the luxury of time to do this. Whenever you may be going through difficulties in your travels, after getting out a little complaining, pause and reframe. It’s all part of the journey.

Being a Creative Vs. Living Creatively

20 Jul 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #creativity, #expat, #expatlife, #france, #travel, #wanderlust

“Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.” Edgar Degas

I’m a trained creativity coach, I help people with their creative projects in meeting their deadlines, offering accountability, or just have it be part of their daily lives again. Even though I view my life as creative, I sometimes have difficulty viewing myself as a creative.

Although I journal daily, does that make me a writer? I’ve written one book, numerous blogs, been featured in articles, have a literary agent, and had an article published in the Washington Post this year. Even after all this, it’s been difficult to call myself a writer. But I finally do.

But there are other forms of creativity I dabble in, but I do not think much of them. I have a dslr camera I barely use, but I do take numerous photos on my phone. Last year, I even won a photography contest with the school where I was taking French classes. I won two tickets to a film screening of the Champs Elysees Film Festival. Yet, I minimized it, because the subject in front of me was stunning.

My brother is more of the photographer, with the expensive camera, an eye for detail, editing, and redefining his work. He talks theory of art when framing a photo. While I value this, the advice doesn’t stay in my head, when I want to quickly snap a shot.

Regardless of this, I sometimes still enter a competition here or there. Few, but for the fun of it. Yesterday I received word that although I didn’t win the contest, one of my photographs will be on public display in Malaga for one month. This is two competitions I have entered and been recognized, and perhaps I can finally start to call myself an artist, a creative.

So often we think we need permission or validation to give ourself a title, but why? We can give that to ourselves, regardless of what another thinks. I’ve met people who introduce themselves with their side hustle versus what they do that pays the bills. They are leaning into their new reality, by creating a new narrative. Perhaps I can do that too.

Or I can follow the advice of Mark Nepo

“I started out wanting to write great poems, then wanting to discover true poems. Now, I want to be the poem.”— Mark Nepo

And so I offer those words of advice to you this week. Instead of trying to be an identity or label, be the essence versus the product. Be the verb. Live into that which you are longing to be called. Joy and delight is found in the being versus completing.

Clothes Make the Women

16 Jul 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized

“Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live.” —Gianni Versace

The other day when reading Joe Dispenza’s book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, I had a revelation. The book explores parts of the Law of Attraction, and aspects of the applicability of Quantum Theory. I realized I had created my reality. In 2018, I decided for one year I would only wear clothes that were in the style of Vintage, French, or Spanish. I did this for the fun of it. In some ways I was creating a capsule wardrobe but without the formality of it. It was simply for the joy of it and to explore another facet of my creativity visually.

It wasn’t until 2023 that I realized I created my reality.

I lived one year in France and I currently am living in Spain. I was a walking vision board, without planning it. I dressed into my reality. Upon realizing the power of wardrobe, I realized I was going to do this with intention. And for this year, my new emphasis will be in the realm of two styles.

Bobo

Bobo-or as the French like to call it Bohemian Bougeouise. This was coined as a term I heard when I lived in Paris, that represented liberal individuals who were intellectual. It’s a yuppie world that meets Bohemian. To read about the creation of this years ago, check this article out where it was first discussed https://www.nytimes.com/2000/10/14/news/in-france-a-new-class-reinvents-the-good-life-bobo-style-has-it-both.html

2. Abundance

I am going to exude Abundance in the realm of Hindu goddess Lakshmi (or even the goddess Fortuna). This includes bright and joyful colors that offer a tropical goddess vibe. Last month, I attended an energy psychology conference. A woman complimented me on this outfit I was wearing and said I looked like abundance. I took the compliment, and now am running with it.

I may not be dressing into a particular region of the world, but a mindset and philosophy. Now my focus is turned to crafting my reality. In addition to offering an outlet for one’s creative display of imagination, it can assist with self-control. I noticed it assists with discerning one’s purchases when shopping the sales, which at the moment is 50% is more in Malaga. Having a theme offers something to aspire to, even when we don’t have the motivation or energy to think about our wardrobe. For me, this was exemplified this past week. On the most recent extremely hot days I attend Spanish class with no air conditioning, instead of just thinking of what I can wear that I will stay the coolest in, I think “how can I bobo this outfit?” It serves as an inspiration and effort into my daily life and not just for the big event moments.

Years ago, when shopping at a vintage store, I tried on a fascinator (fancy hair piece, people wore in the 40’s and 50s). I said to myself in the mirror, “It’s cute, but I have nowhere special to where it to.” The lovely store clerk looked at me and said in her 50’s dress, “everyday is special.”

Yes clothes and our wardrobe seems trivial. There are so many other things to worry about in our lives and the world. But with a tiny bit of effort and intention, we can bring into our lives that which we dress.

“The joy of dressing is an art.” —John Galliano

Always More To See

09 Jul 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #expat, #expatlife, #travel, #wanderlust

WE TRAVEL NOT TO ESCAPE LIFE, BUT FOR LIFE NOT TO ESCAPE US. – ANONYMOUS

There’s a realization recently that my time in Europe may come to an end this year. I’ve been living overseas for 10 years, 8 ½ in England, 1 in France, and ½ in Spain. And the inevitable finality of it makes me realize there are things I want to do before I leave.

Immediate bucket lists came in my head:

-A trip to Zurich so I can squeeze in Lichtenstein

-An all out trip to the UAE (and touchdown on 8 territories)

-Flying to Athens so I can pilgrimage to where the Oracle of Delphi was, and hit up two other territories of Cyprus I haven’t been to.

-Go to Northern Ireland and then explore Jersey

-What about Tunisia and Corsica?

As an aspiring future member of the Travel Century Club, I want to hit up as many countries as possible. But there is a realization that all may not be feasible, at least with the remaining moments to have. I still have friends visiting and a trip planned in several weeks to Italy to explore Lampedusa and San Marino.

Breathe Tricia.

It’s okay to still have places you want to go or return to in the European vicinity. You don’t have to do it all now. I can always come back. It’s okay if I don’t see everything right now. Perhaps it’s best to leave when you still desire more.

Years ago I had a conversation with a fellow psychologist from Ireland at an Adlerian conference in Malta. At the time, I was in my 20s, she was a decade older than me. She offered me this advice, “These countries will always be here. My goal is to travel to one country each year. If I live until my 80s, that’s still 50 countries.” This older and wiser woman told me this as I was backpacking Europe, and had visited 15 countries in one summer. It was overwhelming, but exhilarating.

At times like this, when I feel my time in scarce, I need to remind myself that one’s life can be abundant. I have time. Why rush when I can luxuriate in the time that remains?

I am unclear of the exact amount of time I have left. If I can only do Zurich, it’s not just to check off Lichtenstein. But with research, I have found that closeby I can visit the home of psychoanalyst Carl Jung. I can pilgrimage to another Black Madonna that is one hour from Zurich, that Jung had written about. I could have a leisurely lunch in Lucerne.

I will make most of the time in Europe and will live experiences versus simply checking boxes off a list. I hope wherever you are reading this, you can experience some time affluence with your summer.

Back to Spanish Class

26 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #compassion, #education, #expat, #expatlife, #language, #learning, #selfcompassion, #spain, #travel, #wanderlust

“Change your language and you change your thoughts.”
Karl Albrecht

Last week I enrolled in a month long intensive Spanish course. Although I have officially moved here nearly six months ago, I have put this off. While in Paris last year, I took three months of French, and it made me cringe. I hated starting from scratch, pronouncing everything all wrong, and be corrected constantly. I didn’t think I would need Spanish here, but I have recognized and accepted that my Spanish was more of a tourist Spanish. Additionally, Andalucians seem to sometimes speak a different language, with shortening the words or have nicknames for things that did not make sense. Who knew that mala leche (which is translated to bad milk) equates with having a day where you are pissed off and angry? If I wanted to improve, it required an intensive. To commit to this was to commit to a part time job, twenty hours a week, Monday through Friday for four weeks. But now I could do it.

And I was pleasantly surprised.

It was actually somewhat enjoyable. I had taken Spanish class in high school, college, and did an immersion in graduate school. As we went around the room, verbalizing our background with Espanol, I realized it has been over twenty years since I had taken Spanish (Duolingo doesn’t count). I could have compassion for myself with forgetting some things along the way.

In the classroom, sat next to me a 14 year old Bosnian girl, living in Sweden. She showed me texts from her boyfriend and teacher, gossiping about her life as if we knew each other for years. She guessed me to be in my 20s, when I shared I was in 40s, she was stunned. And I was flattered. The class size generally stayed around 8 people, from other countries such as Morocco, Netherlands, England, and Italy. Although we were collectively learning Spanish, we were learning about each other. Our conversational skills were put to the test as we shared our background information, occupation, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and family dynamics. “Me llamo Tricia. Me gusta caminar con mi amigo. Soy americana, pero ahora vivo en Malaga por seis meses…” This was repeated throughout the week, because with four hour long sessions, the teachers rotated in and out. We could practice hearing different accents, dialects, and experience various teaching styles.

But all were pleasant. Yes we were corrected at times, but it was with encouragement. For some reason, my experience with learning the French language is it was tiresome and draining, it probably didn’t help that we wore masks for most of the sessions. I recall practicing my Spanish with a local here several months ago, who was training to be a language teacher. He laughed when I pronounced various words, and therefore it shut me down. Why open oneself to ridicule in the hopes of improving? A warm encouraging environment is so necessary to offer padding to those learning something new. If you fall, it’s not so bad. You are then willing to try again, criticism didn’t knock you down. At least for me, this is my preferred learning style.

And so I am ready to enter week 2 of classes, with more energy, less cringe, and curiosity of what will be revealed next. As I write this, I am full of appreciation for the teachers out there who have the kind patience in working with their students, and for all students out their who have self-compassion as they learn something new.

World Citizen

18 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #expat, #expatlife, #strangers, #travel, #wanderlust

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world

– Socrates

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend about the concept of globalization. National Geographic defines this as “increasing connectedness and interdependence of world cultures and economies.” And I would agree, to some extent the world is getting smaller. Post pandemic, all is possible and accessible. We are connected in this technological fast paced world.

My recent travels to places such as Bulgaria, Serbia, North Macedona, and Gibraltar reminded me of this concept of globalization. Many of these countries, I didn’t dream of visiting. In my youth, I knew I would visit France, England, and Spain, but the Balkans were not on my list. And yet I was here. For some reason, I thought I would be one of the few tourists that travelled to this land. I knew of only a tiny number of friends or family who have visited here. But what surprised me were there were not only tons of tourists, but also digital nomads. Our boundaries to where we travel now as Westerners have expanded. I was particularly surprised by hearing so many American accents. The Cyrillic language was made easy and translated into English in the city centers for access of non-locals. Cafes were cutesy and instagrammable. We don’t have to travel only to Paris to linger in a cute café, we can hop over to Skopje.

One evening in Sofia, we shared a dinner with two Italians that were colleagues and were living in Bulgaria. We decided to sit at one table together, because the strict hostess at a local restaurant would not seat either of our parties of two. Our attempt earlier that day to get reservations failed. There were no two tables of two. But now we could be a party of four, and so we sat with strangers. When we walked to our table our new friend said, “it’s destiny,” I knew it was meant to be. She was speaking my universal language of synchronicty and magic. This woman had already lived in Serbia, Romania, and now Bulgaria. She was in the textile industry and due to lack of jobs in her country, she sought work in the Balkans. The European borders were open to her and she was immersed in it for years.

Several days before this we had a server and consultant at this Creperie in Sofia. He was Bulgarian, but lived twenty years in America. We spoke of everything from Yogananda, consumerism, over working, yearning for peacefulness, to modern dating. As we talked with him for two hours, I realized I had probably more similarities with him than I had with people in my hometown that never left.

This past week in Malaga, I hosted an event with Girls Gone International. We were a group of less than ten women, but all of us were from different location. We were from America, Ukraine, Prague, New Zealand, England, and Australia. All of us were living in Spain now, but have lived around the world. The border lines between countries are becoming fainter. We are more connected than we think.

And what I find is that I can connect with the people who have left their hometown to live and venture to other lands. One has to know there are other ways to live in the world. We limit ourselves when we think our town is the best one in all the lands and there is no other way to experience the world. This is small town mentality, whether you are from Massillon Ohio or Malaga Spain. There are other landscapes to see, exotic food to taste, fascinating people to meet. You can return home, and have a base but know there is more out there. The more we travel, we see that we are more the same than different. There is not one way to be, but simply a way of living we have been born into and socialized to conform to.

I would love to offer you the gift of travel. And it’s not just to see the landmarks that our favorite authors write about or visiting locations we have seen depicted in movies. It’s not to consume the luxuries of the most exotic spices and textiles. It’s the experience of interacting with others, and the breaking down of barriers that have been built up in our heads. Globalization is normalization. It’s validation of our connection and a reminder we are one.

More the same than different

08 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #bulgaria, #expatlife, #kindness, #morealikethandifferent, #strangers, #travel, #wanderlust

Currently I am visiting my 54^th country and 64^th territory: Bulgaria. I didn’t know what to expect from this Eastern European location. But I find, whenever I don’t expect much, I am pleasantly surprised. Sofia, the capital of Bulgaria, currently caters to the cosmopolitan traveller. The digital nomad millennial influence has impacted this space, with new cutesy cafes, brunch spots, and instagrammable restaurants popping up throughout the city. It’s a recognition that many of us are longing to linger in places that are beautiful and welcoming. The outdoor relaxing cafes are no longer solely reserved for the streets of Paris. They can exist anywhere, and this includes Bulgaria. Why not?

What I found truly interesting, was today when my friend Isabella and I, ate breakfast at a local creperie. One of the staff members chatted with us for at least an hour. Although Daniel is Bulgarian, he spent the past twenty-two years in America, and recently moved back to Bulgaria for family reasons. The three of us never embarked on small talk of the weather and “tourist things to do in Sofia.” We talked of “American” values of overworking to pay for our consumeristic lifestyles. We explored getting lost in the worlds of what we thought was important to us, and therefore losing our health or time for proper relationships. Collectively, all three of us intentionally made a shift in how we lived and worked to lead more balanced lives. We did and are purposefully continuing to do this in different ways. Although we were born in different countries, we had an American upbringing in our late teens through thirties.

Having a conversation like this, in a land I never thought I would visit, is refreshing. It’s the Law of Attraction. Like attracts like. One finds you attract people of similar minds and lifestyles. It felt “random” that our middle aged Bulgarian server, was drawn to the works of Yogananda and SRF (Self Realization Fellowship). We bonded in talking initially of this Indian guru who set up shop in California to spread spiritual principles in the world. All three of us had visited one of his SRF places of worship in California. Here we were living it, and having a discussion about it in Eastern Europe. In the end, it doesn’t matter the type of job or title you have or the amount of money you have in your bank account. What matters is the experiences you choose to have in life, and living in alignment with your values. These values are not those placed upon you by your culture, family, or media, but those that you fully chose. But what is required to do all of this is to step outside of your hometown, see parts of the world, and see that we are more alike than different. We must unlearn to learn.

Space Needed For Integration

05 Jun 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #expat, #expatlife, #travel, #wanderlust, #yinyang

For the past several weeks, I have been travelling non-stop. It was an intentional trip to my homeland to see friends, attend an energy psychology training, and take care of some personal things. As usual, it was full. I visited 5 states in less than three weeks. Every moment went as well as planned, but it felt as if I was checking things off a list to ensure the process ran smoothly. Moments of downtime were embraced, as there was few that existed along the way.

And this is one of them. Arrival at the airport. After checking in, going through security, the bathroom, and having a special treat. I no longer feel the sweat from the hurried rush of going from one point to another. My breath has slowed down as I sit at my gate. I can relax. Although I am surrounded by others, I am briefly alone. There’s still so much to process of what has occurred, but simultaneously it is prepping for what is next. I will only have one day in my new home of Malaga, before a several day excursion to another land. Therefore each moment of free time is freedom.

I am reminded how often we travel like this. If we have a regular “job,” we may have limited vacation days. We fit in so much, that there is little time to integrate. And this is necessary to see, appreciate, and re-live in the beauty of the trip you just took.

Parallel to this, I recently attended a sound healing workshop, where infamous sound healer Jonathan Goldman shared several of his secrets to sound healing. One was the value of silence. Silence is where the healing occurs. Goldman stated “silence is the yin to sound’s yang.” He gave an example, that if we hum for five minutes, we must leave five minutes of silence for it to integrate into our bodies. We think sound is what heals, but it is sound linked with silence. They need each other.

And so as we gear up for our summer travel plans, it’s not just visiting a new land that is important. It is also taking time after travel to process what occurs. Perhaps you do this at then end of one’s trip, on arrival home, or journaling on a daily basis in one’s hotel room breaking up what is learned day by day.

What will be the yin to your yang?

Helpers Along the Way

31 May 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #expatlife, #kindenssofstrangers, #kindness, #storage, #travel

What makes a trip memorable isn’t always the destination one arrives at, but the assistance one receives from strangers along the way. This was the case for me this past week. I have been in America for two weeks. Although I am from America, I haven’t lived here in nearly 10 years. This trip had many facets to it, and was tightly booked. I had planned that each component would go according to plan. Family visits in NYC and Philly, an energy psychology conference in Maryland. In addition, part of my journey included heading to Arizona to empty out my storage via donations and preparation for shipment to Spain. Going through one’s belongings of items you have put aside for years is a difficult feat. It’s physically and psychologically draining. But I had assistance from some strangers.

I was lucky enough to have my mom join me for this adventure, and used miles for our flight from Philly to Phoenix. Because we were using miles, the layover I landed was a 6 hour wait! I reckoned this would be do-able with my annual one day passes to use with United, but when we got to the United Club a sign was posted stating “no one day passes.” I thought I would risk it, and an exception would be made. A staff member obliged and offered a simple “why not?” He let us in. As we sat in the lounge and grabbed breakfast, I conjured to further chance my luck. I asked a staff member if we could be bumped to an earlier flight, and she squeezed down our six hour layover to 90 minutes. She warned us there was a possibility our luggage wouldn’t make it. But luck continued and our luggage arrived on time. Travel blessings were abound. With each small level of assistance, I thanked the universe for all the help along the way from these everyday angels.

After landing in Phoenix, grabbing lunch, we headed straight to work at a storage facility in Tempe. I had zero plan of where we were going to donate all these belongings and furniture. Our hybrid rental car was only mid size. The local Goodwill took all donations, but they did not have the availability pick items up. I didn’t know how people sold or gave away items anymore. Craigslist? Facebook Marketplace? There wasn’t enough time to list each item and sell it.

But on our first day at the storage facility, a fellow storage neighbor walked by and chatted with us. My mom offered her a massage chair I was donating. She responded with a quick and exuberant “yes!” We informed her, I had numerous other items I would be giving away. She said she would take all of them, and she did. Throughout the week, Roberta was there at moments when we needed her. My mom said in some ways she was like an angel, you asked for her and she was right there in the storage facility ready to pick up an item. In total we spent 20 hours in three days sorting through this storage, and this would have been even longer if we didn’t have Roberta’s assistance.

It amazes me how help can be there when you need it, and it comes from the unexpected. With each person we met and assisted us along the journey, I gave them one of these Gratitude Puzo/Bella Cards. It’s a small simple way to offer gratitude, but it is tangible and memorable. I stayed in that positive zone: offering kindness, receiving kindness, offering gratitude. The cycle continues.

Life may not always work out as smoothly and seamlessly as this, but sometimes the kindness of strangers may surprise us. All we have to do is ask, be willing to receive. And also know that it is our mission as humans to pay that back forward with others, in one way or another.

Returning to Your Homeland

22 May 2023 Leave a comment

by Dr. Tricia Wolanin in Uncategorized Tags: #american, #expat, #expatlife, #multiracial, #worldcitizen

I am embarking on a several week trip to America. It’s my first time going to the states since I moved to Spain, and probably the longest period I haven’t travelled anywhere since the pandemic. Six months. I can’t help but wonder, where is home?

This summer marks ten years that I have lived outside of America, via the United Kingdom, France, and now Spain. A new friend I met in Europe reminded me that “you are not American, you are a world citizen.” At first, I wanted to disagree with him. My upbringing was in America, I have an American accent, my family is there, I own a home there. Of course I am American, a multiracial American. But as I got on the plane in Lisbon today (my layover from Malaga), I am surrounded by American accents. It’s awkward. I feel I don’t fit in. Do these people understand me? Were they just on holiday, taking a dream vacation? Or are they like me just visiting America too? This is my life. Staff members and passport control are asking how long I have been in Europe. I respond by pulling out my visa. Perhaps I am a global citizen.

I realize maybe we don’t have to choose. We are not one or the other. We can be all. My friend recently bought a home in Michigan. We are from the Midwest, and I asked her will she give up her home in New York and totally move to this new home in Michigan. She doesn’t know. She too, also feels both are home: East Coast and the Midwest. You don’t have to choose one or the other. There is reality you can be both. It reminds me of my racial identity. Years ago, when growing up and taking standardized tests, I had to choose my race when filling out the form. I informed the teacher, I wasn’t just one answer. But there was little cultural sensitivity at the time and in small time Ohio. She forced me to choose one. Do I choose how others define me? Do I change the response each time, letting each parent be represented? Do I opt out and not answer? Why must we conform?

After ten years of living overseas, and for ten years prior to that living in various parts of America, I realize all parts are me. An Ohio Cali Hawaiian Philly New York American citizen. That is okay. Do not allow others to define you. You have a choice in this. I am returning to the country I was born in, but now I realize it’s part of me. Not all of me.

It Only Takes A Smile