“It may not work out how you think it will or how you hope it does. But believe me, it will all work out.”-Ted Lasso
This past week, one of my childhood friends visited me in Malaga. Although we did many of the touristy things one does in Costa del Sol to include the sea, tapas, shopping, and Tinto de Verano, we also binged on two television shows. Both were products of SNL alumni: Girls 5 Eva by Tina Fey and Ted Lasso with Jason Sudekis. Generally it can take me quite a long time to watch television shows or films, as I want to savor them as I do my lattes. But binging on them gives a different perspective.
One can see the clues writers leave to tease viewers from one show to the other. Foreshadowing of what’s to come. But also writers may trick us to believing we know what is next, only to take us through twists and turns as the story unravels. We can embrace the vicissitudes of the hero’s journey, the human journey, through television. Dramedies like Ted Lasso, pull at my heart as one can laugh and weep at all that is offered to you in short segments, episode to episode.
I couldn’t help but think of this as I watched the season (or even series) finale of Ted Lasso yesterday. It was poignant because it was within one day I finished listening to an audiobook and reading a tangible book. Endings were the theme yesterday in all media I was consuming, and I thought how timely this was because I am in a transitional period in my life right now. An ending from one period of life before embarking on another.
Finales of television shows give us a sense of resolve. We feel a sense of closure as reflections are made of how characters and groups have transformed through this time together. The characters are flawed, like all of us are as humans. People trigger and then push each other to grow. Respect is earned through showing up repeatedly for others, dreams are realized, celebrations are embraced collectively, egos are swallowed as one asks for forgiveness. Love shows up in countless ways, that exist beyond romantic relationships. There is a sense of satisfaction when storylines circle around and are completed, and the crescendo has slowed down to a place where one can simply enjoy the vastness of it all.
Finishing Ted Lasso yesterday reminded me of conversations I had with one particular creative client. She came to view different periods of her life when we worked together through the lens of seasons of a television show. They were not marked by years, but experiences. She labeled each season with a theme, noted the lessons learned, characters involved, growth made, and what point would be the end. There was a small sense of admiration for the evolution that occurred and a tiny bit of sadness, but she was more excited of what would be in store for herself next as the main character, who would be in her life, what would be the style of clothing worn, color scheme used, and what metaphorical journey was she about to undertake next.
With clients who you work with for a limited period of time, this is evident. You get glimpses into the moments of their lives, and they give you the backdrop of what has led them there. But the same is true with others. Recently, as I have conversations with friends I haven’t seen for years or caught up with family members, and noticed the same in their stories. I can see the threads and themes in their lives, and how it’s progressed. I witness how they struggled and triumphed and caught glimpses of where they are headed. But sometimes with ourselves, we are so immersed in our own stories and in the head of the character we are playing (ourselves), that we do not see the larger arc. At times we need to step back and see not this one episode we are having difficulty with, but how each episode has been linked to each other. We need to see our lives as the writers of television shows do, and act from that perspective.
I thought back to that one client I worked with and her way of framing the world, as I pondered on my time here in Malaga, or last year in Paris, or all the years in the UK. I’ve had ten seasons of living overseas, and the show at this time is not up for renewal. It’s a series finale. There is sadness there as I reflect on all the players, storylines, and story arcs. And as I sit in this liminal place, I am curious what the next series is that I will embark on as I return to America. How do I want this next part of my life to be?
Where are you in your series of life? What is the theme of this season? Who are the characters? What type of show is this? Where do you want this season to go?
We are both the actor and the writer of our own stories. How do we want it to go. But it’s important to know, there are co-writers that exist on this television show. Yes it’s the other characters in our lives who co-write with us but also a larger entity, whether you call this writer Universe, Divine Light, God, or Mother Earth. We are in constant collaboration, we have free will, endings can always change. You are not a victim of your story, you are a co-writer. Live up to that credit. Maybe even co-write a life that’s worthy of 20 Emmy nominations each season, just like Ted Lasso. You deserve it.
“Schopenhauer suggests that just as your dreams are composed by an aspect of yourself of which your consciousness is unaware, so, too, your whole life is composed by the will within you. And just as people whom you will have met apparently by mere chance became leading agents in the structuring of your life, so, too, will you have served unknowingly as an agent, giving meaning to the lives of others, The whole thing gears together like one big symphony, with everything unconsciously structuring everything else. And Schopenhauer concludes that it is as though our lives were the features of the one great dream of a single dreamer in which all the dream characters dream, too; so that everything links to everything else, moved by the one will to life which is the universal will in nature.”
– Joseph Campbell
It Only Takes A Smile 