As a devotee of romcoms, it seems the world is framed that the potential of romantic love is always a possibility. Fairytales mold young girls to feel as if their lives are not complete without their knight in shining armors. And so it’s easy to be feel one is always on the hunt for their other half, and as we go out and about in the world we are programmed to seek couples who exemplify this idealized standard. When we don’t find it, a sense of dissatisfaction and incompleteness can arise.
On this Saturday morning, at a chill café in Los Feliz, I did spot a handful of couples. But what I saw exemplified love to a greater intensity. It was not the cutesy couples kissing in a corner I saw. What I witnessed were tables of friendships, groups of men or groups of women meeting up to share their week’s joys, struggles, laughter, goals. And I realized this was who the majority of the customers were on a Saturday morning. This was real love. Love that is loyal, consistent, stable, kind, non-contingent, and long lasting. Friendship love.
So often we are in search of the essence of something that we may already have. Instead of worrying where one may find love, why not be love, or reside in love that is in one’s atmosphere? This could be one’s family, friends, or even pets.
As I write this, I am aware it seems Pollyanna-ish. Yet love is already all around. We may not label these interactions and relationships as such, but it offers the same warm feeling of being cared for and offers a sense of belonging. Love is a verb. Love is an action. It is not an elusive thing to grasp, and therein lies the problem. How we believe we should perceive and experience it. At the moment, we may view ourselves as lonely, but ultimately that is a choice in perception. Allow oneself to experience and feel all the way love shows up in your life this weekend. Then note how you feel. Instead of the sense of seeking, there may lie within a sense of satisfaction.
“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” — Oscar Wilde
It Only Takes A Smile 