Since Puzo has died, I have been making an effort to take my other dog Bella to the park at least once a day. I realized I limited our walks over the past few months, because Puzo’s ability to walk was limited. We only could use a stroller with him, and the heaviness of it made the process an ordeal. But I still managed the Champ de Mars park several times a week (particularly in the nicer weather). If we didn’t take these excursions, Puzo could only make it to the tiny alley we lived on. That was not inspirational. I began to take Bella out separately, yet these walks were limited.
Life adjusts to those you must care for, and I simply accepted this was our phase. But now he is gone, I am being more intentional with Bella. There is guilt for not being more present with her before due to the care and attention that was needed for Puzo, but I am making up for that now. It’s easy to get sucked into the sadness and depression that comes with loss, but the day Puzo died my mom reminded me « you must be there for Bella. » And so I am trying.
At the park today, I witnessed a beautiful simple moment. The sky was a cloudless blue, and a young woman was playing with her German shephard. He had puppy energy. She brought a massive bubble set, to blow bubbles and allow her dog to chase it. But she did not do this freely, it was only his reward after he sat down. There is something so innocent about bubbles. They are full of wonder for children, adults, and even dogs. We chase these ephemeral irridescent shapes, wanting to embrace the beauty they momentarily offer.
Later in the afternoon, I walked Bella to the pet store. I was going to return a bag of specialized dog food I never got to open for Puzo. A young boy was in the store staring at Bella. He pet her, and I gave him a Puzo gratitude card (maybe you received one if you are reading this). I told him my other dog died two days ago, he shared this with his cousin sitting next to him. As he pet Bella, he showed her the card, almost reminding her to remember her brother. It was innocent and sweet, and surprisingly I didn’t cry. I can find hope in glimmers today of bubbles, a blue sky, the youthful puppy, boy, Bella’s park adventures, and the legacy of Puzo that will continue to live on.
It Only Takes A Smile 