Purging Past Stuff

Years ago, I had an entrepreneurial idea. A store in midtown Manhattan was going out of business. They had all these Afghani leg warmers for sale. I had the brilliant idea of buying 25 pairs, and choosing to make makeshift yoga bags out of them. It was my new idea of recycling, and incorporating my new found love for yoga and creativity. I spent hours creating these, gave numerous ones away to friends, fellow yoginis, and even sold a few. But the rest just lingered. I thought I had given them all away, until I came upon a box today and found 6. Initially i wondered who I can give them to now that would appreciate them. But now they appear horrid to me. Could I return them back to their original form as leg warmers? I tried, no luck. I cannot force myself to like them.

Seeing these creations somehow brought anxiety to me. It also brought embarrassment and shame. How could I have ever thought this would be a great idea? Negative self-talk reverberated in my brain regarding this failed business experiment. This then began led to other strong failed business ventures that were never explored. Before this got out of control I had to remind myself, to practice compassion. Speak words of loving kindness to myself. Also this is a great time to continue to practice letting go.

These yoga bags no longer serve me, as bags or leg warmers. I can thank them and let them go as Marie Kondo suggests. As I move from home to home, I am so used to keeping things that are boxed up. If it’s completely worn or used, it’s easy to throw away. But things that I had intentions for, I feel they will continue to be carried along with me. Despite the fact that I age, I had assumed these items would have grown with me. But they haven’t. It was who I was over a decade ago, and I don’t need to hold onto that. In the process of ridding items, I have rid almost 200 items in the past 40 days. This is quite a miracle for me.

I am hopeful it will continue to bring clarity of what I really want in my life at this time. Not what I wanted in the past or hope for in the future, but now.

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