Kindness of Neighbors

Yesterday, as I was walking my dog, I saw a stray petit black dog. Automatically I was worried.  He had no collar and looked familiar, he looked like another neighbor’s dog.  The dog was located next to the house of a family who recently vacated the building.  I had heard horror stories about the family, who took the week to move out, and carelessly left belongings in the front and back of the home.  Did they leave their dog?  These were both black small dogs, would they have dared to leave him?  I have heard stories of people leaving their dogs leashed or unleashed when they move from homes, so the dogs would not find them, and the family could have a fresh start sans animal.  I was hoping it wasn’t the case. 

            Outside of a hello, I rarely talk to my neighbors, but I found myself purposefully asking neighbors closeby “was this the previous neighbors’ dog?” Both individuals I asked said no, stating this dog belonged to someone several blocks away.  One of these neighbors said she would walk the little black dog back home.  She had once found this same dog, and he escorted her to where he lived.  What an intelligent little thing, but why would owners let them loose on streets that could get busy at times?  She tried to nudge the little young black dog home, but he was playing with my older dog.  He was following us to my home, and to help the neighbor out, we all walked several blocks, and escorted this dog to his rightful home.  We found out he was a three year old boy named Scotty, whose owner was searching for him that afternoon. 

I had only met this elderly neighbor once.  She introduced herself (Rosie) and her dog (Phoebe), when we moved into the neighborhood.  She has had her dog, which is a terrier mix, for three years.  She had found her in the recycling bin years ago, right behind the condo complex.  Phoebe was difficult to get out of the bin, because she kept biting hands that were trying to save her out of fear. With multiple attempts and the assistance of her adult children, they got Phoebe out of the recycling bin.  They cleaned her up and created signs for those who may be missing a dog, nobody claimed her. Rosie realized that Phoebe may have been the pet of a homeless person, as the dog had a strong digestive issue, which appeared to be from drinking contaminated water.  Despite this, they fell in love with her and Phoebe has been in Rosie’s home for years.

Morale beauty is an aspect of awe which occurs when we witness or observe acts of kindness, courage, or strength in other humans that bring a sense of amazement and wonder to us.  I couldn’t help but feel this way for Rosie, who in small moments offers her kindness to these pets who enter her life. I’ve only interacted with her twice, and both times have amazed me.  As we walked little Scotty home, I couldn’t help but think this is what true neighbors did back in the day.  This is what community is, we offer support and watch to each other, and our pets.  

Who in your life brings a sense of awe for the morale beauty they exhibit? How can you offer kindness to a neighbor? Morale beauty isn’t always recognized on the news or talk shows, but it exists all around us if we have the space to look.

Thanks Rosie for the kindness you offer to our neighborhood, and the pets that enter our lives.

Awe and Wonder

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”- Albert Einstein

This past weekend I went to an Awe & Wonder Retreat, 3 days 2 nights retreat to Esalen, led by Dacher Keltner.  I didn’t know what I was getting into when I signed up, I simply wanted to go to Esalen.  Every retreat listed seemed to be filled with inspiration, as Esalen’s focus has been on the intersection on philosophy, spirituality, and psychology.  My friend Gretchen told me the other day that one of her life goals is to go to Esalen, and that there are two things that stir her with passion and excitement in this world: love and the programs at Esalen.  I could not agree more.  Yet, I chose the right program to attend, it was exactly what my soul needed at this moment in time. 

Dacher shared the 8 aspects of wonder which include: Mystical Experience/Spirituality, Moral Beauty (Kindness and Courage we witness in others), Visual Design, Music, Collective Effervescence (what we experience in concerts or sporting events), Life and Death, Nature, Big Ideas. Through focusing on awe and wonder several times a week, we can decrease loneliness, depression, and increase a sense of gratitude.  Although Dacher is a social psychologist, that has studied happiness, has consulted with Pixar for the films Inside Out and Soul, and helped create the emojis for Facebook, he recently pivoted his work toward the concepts of Awe and Wonder. He chose to do this after his brother Rolf died of colon cancer.  There was so much grief there as he reflected the totality of the experiences around the world together over decades, but also with this was a sense of awe for the life cycle.  He knew he could emerge from this grief from studying and focusing on awe. 

Throughout the workshop we learned about the research of Awe and Wonder, completed experiential exercises collectively or in small groups, and processed what was arising internally through reflective writing exercises and contemplation.  The group that consisted of 33 people of all different ages cried together, smiled, laughed, and shared about experiences of bliss, wonder, and grief.  The concept of awe and wonder seemed so simple, this is something we used to relish in as children, and at times when we are mindful.  Yet it is so poignant.  Over the past fifteen years, I have a daily practice of gratitude, but I admit at times it can get stale.  Adding one reflection of what brought me wonder could enrich this each night.  I realize that my Instagram posts (amodernpilgrimage) is to pivot and remind others of the sacred places in the world, sacred moments, and the sacredness in oneself also point to the sense of awe and wonder.

On the 6 ½ hour drive up to Esalen, we listened to the entire soundtrack of Hamilton.  My friend had never heard of it, and has not been exposed to many musicals in her life.  As I drove up the 101 North, I cried at parts of the songs that always seem to touch me.  That musicals seems to express the vastness of emotions we have and the rawness of the human experience.  This is why I love this creation so much, and I realized it was a wonderful introduction to the Awe and Wonder weekend.  Oftentimes, when I am so moved by something, whether this is a piece of art, writing, song, interaction with a stranger, or a beautiful landscape I want to share this.  I yearn for this peak emotion of Awe, which is easily accessible to us. 

For the research of the book, the following question was asked to thousands of people from nearly 30 countries :

What is an experience of awe that you have had, when you encountered a vast mystery that transcends your understanding of the world?

From this, the 8 wonders of life were created.  And so I encourage you today to reflect on this question, share this question with a friend, acquaintance or even a stranger.  Let it land on you and allow yourself to linger on the beauty of reflection and conversation.