It Only Takes A Smile

            There was a moment that arose where I realized I was satisfied with life this week.  I didn’t need to fill my life with things to do, busy-ness to distract me.  It is mid-April, one week post the lift of the UK lockdown.  We have been locked down since Christmas Day, with no interacting with others socially in person, no shops, no sit down dining, and definitely no travel.  In the past 12 months, 7 of them have been in lockdown.  It’s no wonder that people want to dip outside into the stores or explore activities in the local area.  

This weekend was the first time in months that colleagues asked about my plans for the weekend.   I didn’t have any outside of writing and shopping at my local outdoor market.  Yet these are my same plans every weekend, and this was okay.  In the past, I may have felt a need to compare the excitement of my weekend (or lack thereof) to others.  Now I don’t have the urge.  I am satisfied, full.  There’s no need for more.  There will be moments of more in the future, but it’s not necessary for now.  

Now that I am back at the office five days a week, I actually prefer weekends at home, or in the local park in the sun with my dogs.  I realize how precious my time is, and through the act of being at home, I can stretch it versus trying to squeeze in every ounce of activity into it.

Have you made a shift post lockdown? 

Currently I am re-reading the book The Energy of Money by Maria
Newmenth, PhD.  It’s been years since I have read this book, and I am
savouring it.  It’s filled with self help reflective homework
exercises which I love.  I want to share one with you:

Write out a bucket list.

Everything you want to do in this lifetime.  This include things like
places you vow to travel to, degrees or certificates you want to earn,
dream jobs you want to attain, or creativity bench marks.  After you
have created this list, write out the reasons why you want to attain
these goals.  For example “Write a best selling novel”, the reason
behind this may be “to be recognized as an author.”  Or “travel to the
pyramids of Egypt,” the essence behind this is “to be an adventurer.”

Next, imagine it is your 85th birthday.  Everyone you love is there
honoring you.  What are the accolades you want to hear about yourself?
 What have you accomplished?  Who were you as a person?

Now look at both of these lists, are there themes that are repeated?

What does this say about you?  Are you living your life by these
principles?  If yes, how so?  If not, why not?

It was interesting doing this exercise, I have previously created a
bucket list (and actually laminated it on index cards), but this time
doing a bucket list, it was different.  I realized my goals were my
simple and day to day.  I have achieved many of my far off dreams.
There was a recognition of the everyday life I want to live versus the
one off things to check off a list.  In addition, there was a
realization of how I need to continue to check in if I am living an
intentional life based on my current values.

This was an incredible exercise, and I encourage you to challenge
yourself and write out your future !

This is a topic that came up in several conversations this past week.  I watch minimal television these days, but it was not always the case.  Eight years ago when I lived in America, the television would have celebrity gossip shows in the background.  I would watch these as I either did homework or prepared dinners, not noticing how I absorbed all this excess useless knowledge and how it impacted my mental space.  Yet two weeks ago, a friend sent a twenty minute video to me about gossip extrordinaire Perez Hilton.  I could not even get past several minutes of this.  The video seemed so loud, annoying, and pointless.  How was this always part of my life?  We do not always recognize the impact something has on us until that thing is removed.  I recognized the reason this was so shocking to my nervous system is it’s no longer part of my life.  I do not watch much television or even listen to the radio anymore.  It’s solely podcasts and books, which are carefully curated to inspire and motivate me.

My body and mind seems to yearn for this quiet space.  For many people initially the silence is deafening.  Their problems may begin to bubble up and the inevitable feelings of loneliness.  It’s easier to drown it out with noise.  But what kind of life is that?  What kind of life do you want to live?  How can you carefully curate your input?

How do you want to live your days?  If you are to have media be part of your life, what influence do you want it to have on you?  Perhaps you can choose your media instead of it blindly choosing you.

Recently I had a high school friend say to me that she felt like I was born with an extra boost of Vitamin D, her euphemism for optimism. I took it at as a compliment, as she has known me for over twenty years. Yet although my tendencies may veer towards optimism, or being the perpetual care bear, it’s a trait I practice. Below are some ways that are known to boost our mood, many of which may pump up your Vitamin D dosage as well.

1. Daily Gratitude Lists
2. Reframe
3. Mindfulness
4. Squeeze in even the smallest amounts of sun you can get a day
5. Have an uplifting playlist
6. Dance
7. Take a walk in your neighborhood
8. Keep company who inspire and uplift you
9. Be present with anyone in your presence: loved ones, children, pets, strangers
10. Read inspirational books

I’ve spent years studying psychology and being a psychologist, and the list seems so simple. Yet the point is to make it an everyday practice. In some ways it’s a spiritual practice. How can you love the life you have today? Part of the reason I started my podcast and blog is I want to share this extra boost of vitamin d. It is difficult to see others struggle around me, and I can only shine my care bear light on them so long. It’s up to the individual to take action. Take one simple step in shifting your life by choosing one of these practices, and keep it as part of your daily life. The change comes in the discipline.

“Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.”-Joseph Campbell

Where were you January 2020? What were your goals and aspirations for the year? Were you able to achieve them? One year ago I chose to start a tiny podcast to boost inspiration to anyone who would listen. I noticed there were weekly themes that came up in conversations and reflections, I wanted to share this with others. An old friend recently said to me that I was built with extra Vitamin D. My optimism could get me through anything, and I think she is right. Therefore I want to share my extra boosts of positivity with you via the podcast, these inspirational cards (which may be why you are on this site), or this blog.

I started the podcast before we were deep in the pandemic. Hosting the podcast was one avenue of creativity for me, in addition to writing, Tik Tok dance videos, collages, yoga, and picking up the ukulele. I am curious what has kept you inspired for the year?

Check out weekly bite sized wisdom via I Tunes or the link below.

Tomorrow is the Winter Solstice, which is celebrated as the official marking of winter and a pagan holiday. Yet December 21st is also the shortest day of the year. We receive the least amount of daylight annually on this day. This sounds grim, but there is a sacredness to it. I look forward to this day each year, because what comes after is a blessing. Everyday from here till the summer solstice we will gain 2 minutes and 8 seconds of sunlight a day. This may seem minimal, but it adds up. This day for me symbolizes hope.

I watch my dog Bella in our library this afternoon, and she has been pivoting positions on the couch to follow the sun’s rays. She knows how medicinal the sun is, even if it is felt through a window pane. I watch how the sun sets on her body, before she changes locations on the couch and does this all over again. Feeling the sun for a few hours, there is warmth and hope. This is particularly true in the dreary British months.

In the midst of a pandemic and the craziness of 2020, feeling momentary sunlight on one’s face is so refreshing. Knowing that we will get a little more each day reminds me the worst is behind. There is something to look forward to. More sun.

We go through this process each year of Autumn, Winter, Spring, and Summer. The cycles of life are packed into these twelve months. Intellectually we know what to expect next, but each season still seems to surprise us. We may have experienced 40 winters, but for some reason, this is one is unique. This may be said with each passing season, but there is truth to it. Each season, each moment should be embraced for it’s unique nature. As we officially transition from fall to winter tomorrow, and enter into the holiday season (quarantines and all), may we find the smallest bits of joy that arise in our days. My wish is for you to connect to a thread of hope that will carry you through towards a sunnier tomorrow.

“Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.” — Henry David Thoreau

I am in the process of re-reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  In the book for one year, she tackles a different theme each month as a way to improve her happiness.  Yet in the beginning of the book, she wrote a list of 12 Commandments to live by and a list of the Secrets of Adulthood, from her perspective.  As I continue to dip into her world, I can’t help but recreate my own list of the 12 Commandments.  What are the lessons that I want to keep in my life daily? 

            As I wrote these, the first commandment written admittedly was a complete copy of hers, although this is paradoxical.  Hers was Be Gretchen, mine therefore was Be Tricia.  Essentially what this boils down to is be authentic. This lesson seems quite simple, yet how often do we live by this principle?  To be true to ourselves, we must first question our behaviors and values that we currently hold.  Are they truly ours, or an inherited value from our families or society.  It is easy to live up to the principles that are set before us, but how often do we reflect on creating our own commandments? How have you been choosing to live your life?  Has this changed over the years?

            What is required of us after questioning our values and principles, is to query if they are outdated, and if they need to be decluttered and either simplified or replaced?  Hand me down values do not always seem to fit in the right way. They are either too loose fitting, tight in the wrong places, or simply out of style.  What holds true for you at this phase of your life? 

            2020 has probably been a deep time of reflection for most of us.  The world as we know it was paused and shaken up.  It took us out of our routine, out of our busy lives.   As we sat at home, without the regular escape to the local pub, getaway weekend, or store, we began to challenge how we have been living our lives. Going forward into 2021, I challenge you to create your own list of commandments and opt to live by them wholeheartedly. 

As I write this on Thanksgiving Day, I am reminded not just what I am thankful of or the pending pre-holiday sales that are looming, but the simple acts of kindness I have experienced over the year. This included a recent visit to my beauty aesthetician who gave me a touch up for free, for no reason. It’s the face masks that were handmade to friends and family as offerings from sewing queens. Kindness is the florist who has extended me free sunflowers. It’s the smiles I witness among strangers even when half of our faces are covered up. Caring is the act of me donating a bike for children in need at a local bike shop. It’s the extension of welcoming an acquaintance to one’s home during the holidays, so one won’t be alone. It’s the weekly zoom call I share with my high school friends, as we laugh, share, and dream together in different cities in the world. Kindness arose as my friend and temporary roommate threw an impromptu surprise birthday celebration for me during lockdown. Warmth is the body heat that arises on cold days, as my dogs snuggle up with me on a couch.

It’s so easy to focus on what is wrong in the world and how this year is different than any other. Life is not full of ease. Our worlds have been disrupted, to include our social lives, travels, and adventures. For those hit worse, many have lost jobs, health insurance, and loved ones. Yet in this, we can still catch acts of kindness. Life may be surreal right now, but we can capture everyday moments of love and gratitude.

Years ago when I started this blog, it began with gifting strangers and loved ones with little inspirational cards with a positive quote and a photo of my pets. It was a small tangible token of gratitude for an act of kindness they may have done or given in addition to a tip. Since Covid, I have paused in passing out these small little cards but have been offering bits of inspiration on my podcast below. For those who are in my atmosphere, I have ordered new itonlytakesasmile.com cards, with another captivating quote. I can’t wait to start sharing these again. This habit is something that was such a small part of my life, but it had a big impact. My heart warmed when I visited people again who kept these cards on their desks, whether they were friends, store owners, psychics, or beauty aestheticians. Thank you for all that have served me. Covid is not the only thing that is contagious, kindness is contagious. And kindness will continue to outlast this all.

I’ve started a podcast this past year, called The Golden Mirror. Check out a recent episode below about unexpected acts of kindness.