One thing I have appreciated about living in Europe is going to local markets, particularly when the crowds are quiet and the selections are abundant. Yet this week, I went on Saturday midday. On Saturdays, Atarazana market in Malaga is filled with of tourists and family members buying produce for the week. As usual, my favorite stall was full, but I quietly waited my turn in line. When my turn arose, an elder Spanish lady began saying she was before me “Soy proxima.” “I am next,” she said. But both stall workers and me knew this wasn’t the truth. I acted like I didn’t understand what she was saying. I didn’t want to get an attitude or did not have the energy to correct her in Spanish. She complained about me to the other people in line. She continued to complain to the stall owner, repeating his name and saying in Spanish how he is wrong and she was next.
There were many ways he could have reacted. He could have caved to her, as she was probably a more frequent customer than me. She had probably been buying him for years, versus months. He could have argued back with her, using anger against anger. Instead he chose an unthinkable action. He laughed it off, he showed he could win this argument with his jolly nature versus unkind words. He chose to smile instead of sneer.
As I left the scene of the crime, I realized I too had a choice in this moment. I could carry the hostility she threw my way. I could react with frustration at the next person I interacted with. I could ruminate on the frustration of being right, but the fact she still continued to complain about me. I could have exacerbated this issue and generalized how she acted towards me was how all Spanish people behaved. I could have allowed this moment to turn towards enlivening hatred at the experience of being a foreigner living in Spain.
But I chose to live in the way of that jolly food stall owner. I shrugged it off. I admit it wasn’t with enough levity as he did. But if he could let it go, so could I. We are often given examples of negative ways in how to act, negativity is contagious. But so is kindness. This is the reason I created this blog years ago. It only takes a smile, kindness can be just as contagious as negative vibes. I want to emphasize it’s important to witness and catch the moments we go against these tendencies, and shift towards the opportunity of reframe. Teachable opportunities are available for us, if we are willing to humble ourselves, reframe, and learn, even from the local market stall owner. Gracias
It Only Takes A Smile 